(Exerpt from an email sent to me, please note that I did not write this one. I’m just passing it on for all to see. :))
The following is an actual question given on a university of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying itas well.
“Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic(absorbs heat)?” Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law,(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following: “First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it willnot leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
“As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
“Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
“This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by one Ms.Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, ‘…that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.’, and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.”
The student received the only “A” given.
7 comments ↓
Great answer. I love it! *l* Now if only I was in a class where that might be asked….
I’d have to say…that is the most intellectual thing I’ve had the pleasure of reading in a very long time.
Whom ever this was…He certianly had his wits with him that day.
I mean…just imagine a theological conversation with this person.
One wouldn’t know where to begin……
or end.
interesting theory…….i agree that it must be exothermic….because to my knowledge if hell had in fact frozen over…1. the cubs would have won the series 2. one of my good friends would have had to sleep with about 20 people she hasn’t….3.
i would no longer have long hair 4. we would have a final decision on who the president actually is (does anyone actually care?)
i didnt take time to read this but, i was pretty sure exothermic and endothermic are terms for temperature eys but terms used for what happens after a CHEMICAL REACTION, endo - cold, exo - hot, maybe we al just ahve different terms but i thought id point that out for no reason, later man
what do you mean be in a calss where it was asked? why dont you just ask yourself man, bring it up yourself, dont sit back in teh pits, come out with it, who gives a shit about those dumb mother fuckers that laugh, theyll get theirs
a ***** teen could come up with that man,nothing makes you smart or intelectual, so shut the ***** up about discussions with this person, just take a ***** chemistry class, i learned that shi t in 10th grade man, ah well but hey good job to who used all the shit he learned, most people waste all the things they know
That was the most logical thing iv herd this week.VERY NICE STory:} as for the pissed off gothic kid thats talking shit just becasue he can and because life/GOD(giggle) has not treated him the way he thinks he should be treated, screw em :}
GRRRRRRUFF