author’s note: This “article” was originally published on darkzine.net. It has been reposted here with permission from the editor.
i am a submissive woman. i am not weak or dependendent. i am not allowing myself to be exploited or used, as so many wrongly assume. i am also an endorphin junkie. Yes, i fully admit to it. i need that rush of endorphins, i want that rush of endorphins and i crave it like some kind of drug.
There is something about being bent over someone’s knee, skirt flipped up over my back, my bottom (not my ass - i am, after all, a submissive) exposed to the cool air, squirming in anticipation of that first open handed blow upon my flesh that makes my insides quiver. It is only when i receive that satisfying sound of flesh slapping flesh and when i feel the sting that i can be released. The endorphins begin flowing, my body filled with an incredible amount of energy and i know i am truly alive.
There is something more exciting still about allowing a stranger to spank my bottom. Before any outcries are raised about how dangerous this is, please understand this is always done in public, never alone with someone i do not know. Until one has experienced the thrill of being exposed for all the world to see, your bottom in the air while someone spanks or flogs you, you can not truly understand the thrill. i used to be embarrassed, sometimes i still am, until the endorphins begin flowing, i feel as if i am flying and i can drift into that wonderful little world known as “sub space”.
Sometimes i will begin giggling uncontrollably, even when the lashes upon my flesh burn like fire. Many on the receiving end of such delicious agony will do the same thing. It is not because we find the situation humorous, it is simply the endorphins reacting within our brains. We do not realize we are laughing, usually, until in the afterglow, when the wonderful people who just did such “terrible” things to us are helping us to come down and they tell us. Often, we will not remember laughing or even crying out until hours or sometimes days later. I say, give me an endorphin rush any day over drugs or alcohol. Very little can compare, or be come by so cheaply and without the dangers of taking illegal drugs or public intoxication.
The next time you are in a sex club in New York City and are negotiating a scene with a sweet little sub, be nice to her. She may just be me.