So maybe I’m an optimist….but I rather enjoy my life. Quite frankly I am sick and tired of people assuming that because I am “gothic”, I want die. I have absolutly no reason in hell to want to die. Allow me to be concieted for a moment, if I may…
I am not depressed, I do not want to die, and I DO NOT hate the world nor do I hate the people in it. I have trouble understanding the motivation behind the actions of others at times but I could never be a member of the “Trench Coat Maffia” as I have been called. I value human life, I value the world. I love to see the beauty that mankind has to offer, I weep at the sight of it and since I was a little girl I dreamt of seeing all of it. I get a kick out of “making a splash”. I like all the wierd attention.
When people give me crap about the way I look I simply remind them that the thing about me that caught their eye was how beautiful I really am and the reason they are being rude about it is because I look better at my worst than they ever will at their best. We are not humans trying to have spiritual experience we are spirits trying to have a human experience. People don’t understand that either. On other planes of existence we don’t have things like physical touch. Can you imagine an existence where you couldn’t feel the caress of another person or play with squishy thingys, I can’t I love texture.
The more that I meet other goths online the more I hear phrases like “The end is coming” or “God my life sucks I want to die” It’s no wonder that people assume that we are a completely depressed and intellectually challenged crowd of people. I always thought that a major point behind being gothic was to be an individual. It means that we are intelligent enough to realize that our problems can be solved. We know that things are hard, even harder when your different, but that is a fact we chose to accept when deciding that this was the lifestyle for us. We all have been at that ultra low point in our lives where it seems it will never get better. The key is that you have to build up a thicker skin when dealing with the world. You have to sit back, bawl your ass off, take a nap, and get up and KNOW that things just work that way. Sometimes your really good, sometimes your really bad, and sometimes you are just there.
You have to find the beauty and lifeforce in the world, you can’t sit at home playing your playstation and expect it to come to you. Find something that interests you and become good at it, when you are good at it learn to love it, and when you love it make it part of you. You have to seek out the motivation in your life, not expect it to fall into your lap.
I guess my point is this: If you wear all black because you want to die….your not Gothic, hate to be rude but your just a baby bat. I know plenty of Gothic people and, while some of them are Drama Queens, all of them enjoy being who they are. If you really feel that overwhelmed with suicide then please get help or talk to someone *I’m not saying I don’t care. I do I’ve been there. I’m saying do something about it* but don’t put off the I’m Gothic BECAUSE I’m suicidal attitude, it just gives the rest of us more shit to deal with, more snickers, more assumptions, more taunting, and most of all less acceptence.
Raven2181