I sit here alone in a dark room, and all around me life is happening. I want to reach out and feel the pulse of the city tonite. I want to feel the blood running through every vein in the world. I want to crawl behind the eyes of everyone who passes by, and dig deep inside the minds of everyone I meet. I want to murderously make love with all the people of the world. I want to fuck, I want to kill, I want to love - I want to live.
I am invisible, insignificant. Nonexistent. I see people everywhere. I am nothing to them. I must reduce them all to nothingness in my own mind. I want to crawl into my head, disappear. If I hide long enough, nobody can hurt me. Solitude: I am safe in here. This place is familiar and comfortable.
These people pretend to be friendly, and it only makes me hate them more. I have too many thoughts in my mind, too many ideas better left unspoken. I have nothing to say, and I’m just dying to say it. I want to scream my soul to the world, but it is so much easier to lock myself away. I want to cry, I want to die. Fuck, I just want to get high, and nothing is important anymore anyway. Fuck these false friends and their smiling faces. Try so hard to feel important, sound intelligent, look pretty, and nobody knows how much more beautiful these faces might be covered in blood.
I must disassociate myself from the rest of the world.