Entries from March 2001 ↓

Space is eternal it seems. On going, never ending and definately not forgiving. What we must do to move through these years of life is exhausting, emotionally and physically. Each day, becoming more and more difficult to get through. Those of us forced into a life of sun up to sun down pay the most. Society seems to think it can force everyone to follow one set of rules and cast out the rest who refuse, to that burning hell of insomnia. Or is this just the life that those of us who are different chose to live? Continue reading →

what if you met your true lovebut could not be with themwhat if your heart slowed down five beats a dayeach day you could not be togetherhow long would you liveand would you want to liveknowing you could never be together

I do not consider myself to be a dark person. I am what I am, I can be nothing more. If other people perceive this to be dark then it is their view of what I am. Only the individual can truly know what the individual consists of.There are pretty much only a few people in the world that really know anything about me: what I am, what I like, what I feel. Not even these people though, are capable of truly understanding me. I can help them to know me, but not to understand me. I’m not sure if even I understand myself.To presume to know me is to presume godliness. How the hell can anyone apart from a higher power know what is going on in my head? It is impossible to know what I am without having some god like powers. To act like you do know is arrogant and stupid: I pity you.However, I do want people to know what I am. I don’t want to exclude my friends from who or what consists me. I want to pull people inside and show them me, pure and simple. I know it is impossible, but I can always try.We can all try. I am trying

This is a story i came up with after a few nights of drugs and nightmares. It includes heresy,blasphemy and sin. You have been warned.

He was pounding on the drums, obeying the damned rthym. He did not feel his lower legs now, double-bassing the whole time as the vocals screamed “Winter Hordes” with black glory. Another song. The rthym starts anew, the keyboard ringing like churh bells. He head-bangs non-stop and the crowd screams for them, the unholy quintet.

It’s only sweat,hair and music all around him. He is covered in his creations, being the behind-the-scenes hero. The guitarist who is damned good gets the praises and the vocalist who will soon rip out his vocal cords is desired by the girls. The guy behind the keyboard is closer to him, he playing the the melodious unholiness and now he is playing the tune of death.

Continue reading →

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Are you 18 or over and interested in contributing to a large dark erotica project ?

We need:

• amateur photographers
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• graphic design
• erotica authors

We are looking for an amateur photographer with an eye for gothic and horror. The dark erotica project would be a web community much like darksites but for adults only. The site will contain pictorials of taste and literature of the gothic erotica and horror erotica genre.

Envision the world of Anne Rice or Clive Barker with an erotic taste, mixed with the imagery of a NIN video.

There is no payment available for this project unless it turns a profit. If it does, you are entitled to whatever portion your contribution is.

If you want to be part of this project, send email to sire@darksites.com

If you have anything you think you could contribute to this, let us know.

I cut myself but do I bleed? My eyes percieve false realities. Illusions have destroyed all life,I exist but am not alive.Hypocracy has long grown dull;Insanity buried inside us all.We must lose if we are to gain,Self-Deception kills the pain.Truth will never be revealed,we cannot handle what is real.This paradox is all we know,We evolve but never grow.Each day I live a day hope dies,Reaching out with arms bound by lies,How can we see what we need to know,when we search only for what we can control?I feel as if I’ve already died,I may breath but this is not life.I hope in death I can findwhat it means to be alive.

What human believes about pain is known to all of us. Religious superstitious had made human weak and tolerable to Church. He starves and fights to collect goods to survive,even though his life had become very easy… Pain is the Getaway from life… Do something for yourselves….SUICIDE!!!!

Blackness crawls in through my eyes,Conflict within seems to tear,Hate, it wants me to despise,Love speaks, hate you need not fear.Losses to which I have knelt before,Whipping me till I cannot bear,Pain overflows my heart once more,My soul has lost its only flare.Sounds of fate in my head,Lingering, bound to this empty shell,Death let me not wake from my bed,For this is my only hell.My wings have been torn,I have only memories of her,Staring at life,now my eyes are worn,The melting pot of hate to stir.Now light breaks the darkness,Is love all i can see,A faint glimpse, crystal clear sharpness,Bound to the pit, why must this be?Infinite knowledge told to me ,The anwers i do possess,But the struggle divides the sea,Bleeding wounds that spill bitterness………

Sixth period, as with everyday, was pointless, but lead me to today’s thought… i was “in” a game of volleyball, when i noticed how everyone who was complaining about some gossip topic or another ten minutes earlier, were all off having the best time in the games they were putting on. at that moment, i wanted to be one of them, able to be outgoing every second of the day, in every senario.. but i don’t want to be one of them.. Continue reading →

Torn between one world and another. Desperatly seeking a reason to belong. I feel like I don’t know where I belong. I want to do whats right and good, yet I want to be happy and live my life the way that makes me feel good. Life is so simple, yet society makes it so hard. I hate making decisions all alone. I feel so scared sometimes that I’ll do something really bad and I won’t be able to fix it. Thanks for listening!

this is what I am:a shell of flesh walking the landcontemplating the realitydon’t you wan tto come inside?don’t you want to know who I really am?I want to know who everyone isbecause I know everyone is differentthat is what keeps me aliveknowledge that there is more to know

Hiya,
This is a collection of vampire tales I’m putting together.
Hope you like you, folks.
Crowfeeder

I slammed the oak door behind me. Throwing my weight against it I threw the bolts into their time worn holes and hoped they would be strong enough against what would be following me.
But outside the street was disturbed only by the wind blowing from the English Channel. I did not risk a peek through the lead glass mullions of the door.
I knew it would follow, and I asked myself how I had become its quarry. Continue reading →

How I’ve waited for you to come….I’ve been here all alone ….Now that you’v arived please stay a while….And I promise I wont keep you long….I’ll keep you for EVER….I have died a thousand times after you left me.With my reburth’s brought ….Pain….Missfortune….Plagues…. and Famin,thus the Dark Ages.I have roamed the Earth in search of youand when I found you,your heart belongs toanouther….So I will fade back into the Shadows where we once played….Only to wait for you again….My Love….My Darling….To give you my gift of Imortality.Jerry Igor ReedCopyright ©2001 Jerry Reed

This is my first submission, and its probably going to get a lot of negative feedback, hopefully opposed by some positive. Allright here we go… Continue reading →

I…twenty years old…not-so-violent medium height, long haired skinny guy. White caucasian,dark long curly hair.I was a typical nerd/geek/dork in my high shcool years. Bullies and all…they loved kicking my ass. I hated them,hate them still. I beat the crap out of them once, because all this “playing the victim” made me stronger. And more than ever resolved to make them pay. They paid and never touched me again. I was almost kicked out of school but i was an “example student” with good grades, head of the school paper. But i was “hot-tempered and randomly violent” These are the words the school shrink wrote into my student file. Continue reading →

“There’s nothing wrong with being alone. There’s a lot wrong with being lonely.”My best friend told me that a few months ago when I was having a nasty time of it.And she was right.Being alone is great sometimes. When I don’t want to put up with people it’s nice to go curl up in a tree with a copy of Sylvia Plath and tell the world to bite me. Continue reading →

Talking to the dead can be a pain. You know in your mind they are gone forever. They are simply not a part of your life. Yet they stand there like ghosts. Their mouths open and close, but what they say means as much to you as nothing. . . just nothing.

“It has been a long time since I have seen you.” They say in that eerie way.

Of course it has been a long time. The last time I saw you I was under the impression we were not friends. I do not go out of my way to talk to people. I definitely do not go out of my way to talk to people who hate me. Everything between us does not exist anymore. You might as well be dead.

Just as I began to break through to my so called “dark side” i noticed on particular guy. He is extremely good looking. He has dark hair and the most beautiful blue eyes. He is amazing. He was the first “gothic” guy i ever noticed. I was so interested in him but i can’t seem to let him know. I talk to him a lot but i just don’t know how to address him. I have dated two of his friends and i alot of people said thats kind of stupid. I really don’t care though. I want him to know i like him because i do, a lot, but my outgoing personality isn’t quite as out going when it comes to letting him know i am attracted to him. I know it would be best to just say something, but i cant and it’s not like me. What should i say that wouldn’t make me look like a complete fool???

I was recentally put on zoloft, and although I seem happy, i’m not.I wake up in the moring, and wish that I could just let someone take my soul, and put it on a shelf for it’s long over due rest. But as I am forced to wake up, and go to school every moring. And then have your typical pratice for speech team, and hang out with my friend’s at the mall, or go to a game, I find myself not wanting to anymore, I try oh i seriously try to fit in, but the last couple of day’s…. I seriouslly don’t want to anymore. Continue reading →

i am alone in this world as a vampire. i am looking for a covent. i have drifted for so long i just want to find a place that i can belong. i have done what i had to to survive over the years and i do not regret any of it. i have done many things i am in the marines as we speak, my jod is not anything i can really tell you about other then i am force recon. it is what i am doing now the marines are my home at this time but my only question its for how long???

I’m in and out of focus
In various shades of grey.
Blurred with anxiety and
Lost in humanity.

I’m forgotten in a dream
within a dream
within a nightmare.
Swirling, twirling and collapsing
Down to an intertwining web.

Caught between somethings
And nothings. And all things inbetween.
Floating in a mythical karma.Totally
Overwhelmed by the beautiful simplicity.

She came to me like a spirit on a cold December’s eveClothed in tattered flowing robes And snow like stars glittered in her raven hairShe asked for my hand with a pleading gazeAnd said “Love me, for my time is short”So I held her a long while thereWhen morning broke she was no moreHer skin still warm against my touchAnd I thought a moment I felt her heart Beating beneath her breastAnd there she lay, My love that in my heart will never dieAt long last found her rest

what is deathi dont knowwhat is lifenothing but a showis it life before deathor is death firstand then rebornonly to have a life of misery and scornand what about your true lovewill you ever meet themand if you did would you know how to treat themwhat if you knew who your true love wasbut it could never bewould you think of her alwaysfor all eternitythis seems to be my problemwhat is to become of mea bullet to the headwould end this misery

While the origins of goth have been heavily debated and researched, little attention seems to have been paid to the factors that have affected gothic culture in more recent years.One of my first memories of goth entering the mainstream was the release of The Crow. We’re all familiar with the horribly applied face paint of Crow fans, but no matter what your current opinion of the movie or its fans, you must admit that it put a big, bright spotlight on what had been hiding in the shadows for a good while. Continue reading →

You could hurt me right now and I wouldn’t say a word. The way you hold the blade almost too closely, dangerously pressed against soft flesh, is enough to keep these lips quiet for at least a hundred years. You could kill me right now and nobody has to know. With the hours always passing slowly, I am waiting to follow the twisted trails that will lead me to death if not towards transcendence. If you were to apply only the slightest amount of pressure, I would spill my entire self to you, pouring forth secrets pumping from the soft machinery within the bony cage of my breast. You might know me in ways you never imagined. If even only a few drops fall, let us ride this river of red into darker territories than these where we now rest jaded, sedated, with lazy bodies and hazy minds.

I awoke in the night. I was so cold, but I could feel warmth laying next to me. Her breathing was slow and regular, she could only beasleep. As I mold myself to her for warmth, I laid there and remembered the night before…. It was a large party, people everywhere. Drinking abounded; everyone was, or was getting, drunk. Drugs, the amount of which wassimply amazing, filtered through out the entire party. Generally it was simply mass pandemonium. I remember one point rather vividly, the moment SHE walked in and sat down. My eyes were drawn ever towards her. Continue reading →

I am a witch but i am also gothic. Are their no websites that cover this?? If anyone knows of one let me know!!

Dear Shay, I have some concerns for our friend Josh, seems he’s starting to slip back to his life before he smartened up… he relives in his dreams the past with exacting detail… the feel of her skin, the smell of her beneath him, her smile, her giggle, her eyes…. he remembers the fun they had washing blood off of the walls in the hallway in the house they weren’t supposed to be at after a fist fight they had for fun… Continue reading →

Maybe I am just taking up more space, as in my last article I was feeling angsty, well guess what? I still am!! Only I will have to rephrase the word “hate”. To be honest I do not hate, but I dislike. Maybe because it is very difficult to trust others. I grew up practically with no one to talk to, that is until I got this little internet thing that I then met my fiance Tim. I always feel that without him in my life I would be nothing. I am of course happy with myself, I never stated that I didn’t like myself, of course I do. I can be a bit concited at times hehe. Anyway enough about moi. There is happiness after dark, and in that sense I mean that even in darkness no matter how much angst we have there is always something to make us happy. No I am not contradicting myself. I only write what I feel like that day. Today I feel calm, and scared. I almost burned the house down hehe, I didn’t mean to the gas just started to leak, but things are fine now. LOOK!! Here I am rambling again!!! Hehehe. Bye Bye now.