What its like to be a selfish bitch

Its hard to realise, people don’t really see the side of me that often. But to be as truthful as i can I really am a selfish shitty bitch.

My best mate obviously knows it, I’ve asked him but he’s too nice to agree he just told me that “HE didn’t think I was” does that mean he knows people who do?Anyway Im also a complete hypocrite (however its spelt) I’ll sit down for hours talking with my friends about self-harming and tell people that do it they should respect their body and all that crap, that your body didn’t asked to be put with your fucked up mind, and sure people agree and decide that maybe im right; even if they can’t stop themselves. Little do they know the reasons im wearing jumpers and long sleeved tops in summer, under these clothes are the scars of a cutter, two years of letting the pain inside out by physical pain although I realised a long time ago that physical and mental pain are completly seperate things and no amount of blood and scars will change this. So anyway, now ive just babbled on for a few minutes im going to go and try to be a happier person so by the time I go on holiday my arms will have no fresh cuts and I will be using plenty of concealer for the worse scars, its a shame that you can’t use a concealer to cover up the pain you feel because I keep being told that my face in streaked with sadness.Jesus, what a loud of crap.