Pope in sex change scandal

The pope held a press conference on Sunday, instead of holding the usual Christmas mass, to answer to allegations that he imbezzled thousands of dollars of the church’s money in order to have a sex change operation. When questioned, the pope merely stated, “I have sinned against God! I don’t deserve to be a man, I just wanted to fix a mistake that he made!” Rumors of a threesome with the cardinal and the bishop are wide and known, but is yet unconfirmed.