My life could be the plot of some B-rate horror movie. Something called, Attack of the Loser Freak With the Crazy Eyes. Or even Attack of the Freak with the Crazy Eyes Who Drink’s Blood, So RUN! Too long? I guess it would be bad to add that I’m also a witch?
Every mother’s worst nightmare. And I will never go away! I’ll always be here pissing off the preternatural with my inconsiderate, yet lovable antics. So that when those stuck up creatures around the world hear the name Mary-Jane Graeae Karma Kaliki Lotus Noche, they just about pass out.
I know, the name’s a bit much, right? It was the sixties, what do you expect? My parents wanted me to be at one with Mother Earth… they thought it would help with my powers.
Though sometimes it may not seem to be so, I’m not all bad, really! I may be a little naughty sometimes… maybe even a bit evil- but it’s not my fault. I was sent to work at a sweat shop in Taiwan sewing cheap soccer balls when I was eight. All the years of hard work and sacrifice finally paid off when I managed to make one so big I could fit inside. Then it was off to California for me, where I was promptly made into a vampire by an old wise blood-drinker who saw the world in my eyes.
Did I mention that I’m also a bit of a liar?
The real truth of my birth into a world that I had never known is a long and tragic one. But for now, I’ll give the abbreviated version:
I am a witch by decent. Yes, we do exist. And no, you will never meet us- you’ll never be able to tell a human from a witch. We look exactly like you, except for the tail, it‘s long, with coarse black hair sprouting from… Just joking. No tails here, just the power to control natural forces that have existed for an eternity. I, myself, can bring about a small storm should it be required and perform other feats within nature. Humans are a lot more difficult to manipulate, though. But don’t be mistaken, it can be done…
Did I scare you? Sorry. Fear hhas always been a factor in my life, it’s amazing. My parents were actually trying to avoid that by moving us out to hick town where none of my people lived.
I lived with my parents in a lower-middle class neighborhood in classic suburbia. I went to a normal school, as there aren’t very many covens in Nebraska. I wish there had been.
I was in no way normal. As a child, I had no idea how to control my power. Strange things were constantly happening around me, like getting caught in unexplained whirlwinds, thunder when I was really angry and rain when I cried. Little kids don’t like magic, things they can’t explain- and neither do their parents.
So I lived with the whispers…Look at her… I know! Her eyes… she’s evil… My mom says I can’t play with her… I hope she never touches me… WITCH!
All of this that leads me to one of the foremost reasons why they were scared of me- my eyes. Dark chips of obsidian with silver streaks winding their way through what seems like a small universe. My eyes actually throw light back out at you, a trait that isn’t normal, even for a witch. Especially not for one trying to be human.
And I used to try so hard! I pretended to like everything the other girls were into, want everything they wanted… but as soon as they caught a glimpse of my eyes in the wrong light the whispers started. Sometimes I thought I would die there were so many whispers.
But, there was practically nothing I could do except run home to Mom and get a warm cup of herbal tea. She told me to love them while they did these things because humans are weak and fragile, creatures who couldn’t possible understand me or what I was. I tried, I really did, but when the taunting is all you ever hear, it’s hard to listen to anything else.
Eventually, my humiliation subsided enough for me to find others who were like me. I was in high school a place where everyone feels like an open wound and would do anything just to be invisible. I hung out with these people, they didn’t care that my eyes looked weird, they didn’t care about the weird things that still sometimes happened- all they knew was that I was a friend and a valued one at that.
Of course these people were often far more warped than I had been. They were either from broken homes, poverty, or worse. But they were my friends, and we stuck together while the ‘beautiful’ people attempted to make life hell for us.
Ah, yes. The ‘beautiful’ people. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not all that hideous myself, in fact, I’m actually quite pretty (My beauty was enhanced by the vampirism, but we’re getting to that.) But, looks are nothing if you don’t have the clothes, or act like you’re the happiest goddamn person on the planet. My arch enemies were the people dressed in (the equivalent to) J-Crew and Abercrombie, they were high on life. It’s amazing actually; the people your parents like are the ones you hate the most.
It’s ironic, actually, that these people were the cause of my misery in life and my eventual death…
It was the beginning of my Junior year, and I met a boy named Azurite. Now, I hadn’t dealt with guys much. In fact, I honestly didn’t see what all the hype was about. But him, now, he was different.
His eyes saw through me, saw into my soul, and he spoke to me as if he knew exactly what I was feeling. (Ha, ha. He did. But, again, I’m getting to that.) He said he admired my strength, the way I stood up to the girls who were constantly ragging on me.
So, I was drawn to him, and sometimes I wanted to tell him everything. About how I was a witch, about how life could be so hard, about how deeply in love with him I was falling.
We got closer, and one day I brought him home when my mom and dad were at a circle meeting. We began to talk about how horrible life could be, and I said something like, “When I’m with you, I feel like I could live forever.”
Well, he perked right up at this, and with a spark in his eyes he asked me if I would really want to live forever, if there was a way. “What if we could be together for an eternity. There would be nothing in our way.”
I blushed at this deep emotion and smiled, shyly. “Yeah, that’d be cool. But, you know, it could never happen, right?”
His smile faded. “Are you sure?”
“Uh, yeah.”
He moved closer, and was just looking at me so intensely, I got a little freaked out. “What… what’s wrong?”
“Do you wanna live forever?
“Well,” I began sarcastically, “If that were in any way possible, I think that I would. Yeah. But, you’re freaking me out with this shit. What is this about?” I pulled back to look at him.
He had been listening with a bemused look on his face, and now I saw the first glint of danger in him. He smiled with abnormally sharp teeth. “Come on, Mary. Let’s take the plunge together.” He tried to grab my arm, drag me closer to him, but I wrenched myself free and stood up.
“Maybe you should go. Like, NOW.”
“You said you-”
I got mad. Who was he to start acting like a freak on me? “I don’t care what I said. I was messing around. Now get out.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. You’ll be glad after-”
“After what? Now, just… just bite me and get out!”
So he did. And two days later I woke up dead.
***************************
Now, just try to imagine how I felt when I woke up on his mattress staring at the ceiling. I was mad as shit. I wanted to kill Azurite, and that was even before I found out what he’d really done to me.
At first I thought he’d drugged me and done other, unspeakable acts to me while I was unconcious. I wish that had been true…
But I looked around and had never seen the room in my life. Then he walked in, with his black hair all matted with sweat and his pale skin tinted with red. He was holding an unconscious girl in his arms.
That set me off. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! Go get another one to assault? You drugged me, you stupid fuck, I‘m calling the cops on your bitch ass!” I got up and was hit with a wave of dizziness and nausea. “Wha- What did you do to me?”
He gave me a sad little smile and put the girl down, right in front of the bed. “You are so innocent, Mary. You haven’t figured it out yet, have you?”
I squinted at him, trying to focus, but it wasn’t working. And I was so thirsty, my throat burned . “What are you talking about? Take me home.”
“I can’t, baby. You can’t ever go back there…” He made a gesture for me to stay quiet, and I was outraged. How dare he take me against my will and act like I was being irrational. “Are you feeling O.K.? Are you… thirsty?”
“Yeah, but that’s probably because of what you did to me. I want out of here, it’s getting hot and… and what is that girl doing here? Why-”
Azurite reached down and picked up the girl like she weighed nothing. He held her against himself and positioned it so I was only inches away from her throat.
I could see the blue, spidery veins throbbing ever so slightly underneath her skin and I licked my lips. I was scared. I didn’t understand why I was being held in such thrall, why I could smell her flesh, her blood. But I could. And I was so thirsty.
He smiled at this, my growing fascination with her neck. “Go on, it’ll help. You can’t resist but so long, y’know. The pain will be less, this way.”
“What way?” But I wasn’t really paying attention. My hand reached out to touch her neck, and I felt the pulse, there- gently, right below her chocolate colored flesh. I knew that underneath it I would find peace, but I didn’t understand.
He pushed the neck closer and simply said, “Taste.”
I was falling forward, and my mouth landed on that soft, inviting neck. I grabbed her from Azurite and was lost in the sensation. The blood filled my mouth and I gulped it down greedily, it was as if I had suffocating and I could finally breathe again. This was ambrosia, this was life.
But, I felt her heart begin to slow. I was killing her, this innocent lamb sent to the slaughter. I was taking everything that had been hers in life and making it mine. And I couldn’t stop.
I wanted this life. I wanted it all. And that was perhaps the biggest tragedy of everything.
Her body dropped, and I choked back a sob. “What have done to me?!”
To Be Continued…