Life will go on…
But how can I go on? If I stop now, will life go on without me? Or will it stop for me, pick me up and carry me…perhaps not.
It will just run me over, drag me against the hot, rough pavement, which we have planted instead of plantlife.
Life…why, oh why?
All the hunger, the destruction, exploitation, the damnation. It all breaks my heart.
One thing I am thankful for. I am able to cry and cry, to sob and feel my tears flow, to let the pain inside me grow. I can cry, oh, and I try, I try to heal myself with tears, but months become then years, (and) the pain is still in here.
Oh Goddess, please take away the fear. I’m trying, to free my mind and make it clear. But all the sense has dissapeared; the ink which paints me is all smeared..hazy, blurry, nothing is real…
Life will go on?
But then, why can’t I go on with it? Why do I have all of this clinging to me? I feel myself dragging bags full of iron. I can’t keep up with it, can’t keep up with life.
I’m fading away, away into the darkness…the darkness of my life and of my heart.