Hate, pain, and exclusion is what I feel. Why should I live when I feel these things? I wan to put an end to this misery.
I am nobody. My life is so insignificant. No one likes me. No one ever calls me. No one cares. I want to put an end to this. Those who do only want me there so they can abuse me some more. Maybe I should see the peacemaker. Maybe be he will put my unpleasant soul at rest. No one wants to do anything with me. Why should anyone miss me when I am no longer breathing the same air as you?
I put a gun to my head. Click…click, click again as the hammer goes back for the third time. I call one of my so-called “friends” so he can witness my death. He thinks I am only joking and does not think what I say means anything. To a degree, he is right. I am one big joke. He takes me very lightly. Fear saturates my body as I grab the gun again. Once more I put it to my head. A tear drops. I feel ashamed. Why should I feel sad that I am leaving this world? This misery. This place where I am hated and looked down upon. This place where I am a punching bag. Out in the open, just standing there, waiting to be hit as some hits me. I get hit and come back again for some more punishment. This place where I am thought of last, if at all. Is this any way to live such a life?
I pull the trigger. Boom. My friend thinks that I shot something in the air and hung up to look like I killed myself. He hangs up thinking that this is a joke. He is wrong. I am finally at peace.