It’s been a week and a day since it happened. Do I deserve this? Or should I embrace it??
On a Friday night I was very depressed about the situation with David. Yes, we got along fine for a few days before he decided to tell me that he likes me still, but not in the way that I like him. I’m 18 now, and I feel mature enough to handle things. But this man, I love dearly. He’s the only one I have to turn to now, to help me because I’ve gotten into some pretty bad shit. So on Friday I decided to get wasted with a neighbor because I wanted the alcohol to drown out my ever-consuming sadness. And it did, but produced new ones in the morning. It was the neighbors boss’ birthday so she went out to celebrate it with her. My bedtime was 11 but I was so drunk I was stumbling and I’d only had 2 1/2 bottles! So clearly I couldn’t return home. The neighbor(we’ll call her Sara)can’t drive so her brother(we’ll call him Todd)took her to go see her boss. When he got back I remember it was 12-something. It was all so bleary. But the next morning my parent had gone into my room and tore pictures of my friends(gays, too) off the walls and broke 3 video tapes that weren’t mine because he didn’t like them.(it was The Exorcist and the other 2 were a Leprechaun movie and Interview With the Vampire)because I had not come back on time. Todd decided to take advantage of me b/c he thought I wouldn’t know what he did. But I did and I do. That piece of shit infected me with something and I have to see a clinic on Wed. Throughout all this, David has remained a good friend, even though I’ve been such a bitch to him. He understands how I feel about it, and understands that he means alot to me. Sometimes I think it happened because I wanted affection and he would no longer show it to me, so somebody else did. I’m not angry, just…..sad alittle. I may never be with David again, but I know that I won’t try to ruin his life even though he did mine. I could die any day now from something that I don’t know what it is. David said I’m going to have to tell Todd what’s been going on. So I wrote to him in an e-mail that I couldn’t; Todd is white trash, and if he respected me, he wouldn’t have done this. And every time he saw me, he’d say, “Hey, trik.” There’s his intelligance. And he even has a gf, who’s 40-something. I know what happened is my fault because I sort of knew what was going on. So I guess I’ll let this Darkness embrace me. But if I don’t survive it, I hope he remembers…. how much I loved him.
11 comments ↓
Kill Todd. That simple. If i understand your post corectly, he took from you what is no ones to take, only yours to give, he deserves to die. If thats not the case, then, dont kill him.
Are You a Satanist?
Oh, yes. He did what you think he did. Thankfully, tho’ I went to the clinic and got some tests done. I don’t have anything, but I convinced the bastard to cough up $100 for the tests(which were free b/c i said it was rape) I don’t talk to him anymore, and he tried to blame me for what happened a few times. But to hell with him. At least me and David can still be together.
Rose
I agree. Anyone who takes advatge like that is worse than a piece of shit, and deserves a gruesome death, worse than the one that we all should face. I wouldn’t kill him though. Have him arrested, and let the animals there take care of it. PS.-Destroying Interview? that’s blasphemous!
I totally agree.
And I know.
At risk of sounding totally cold-hearted… Don’t get drunk. What is the point anyway?
Tiana, I would like to personally thaks you from the bottom of my heart, right now. I thought I was the only person on the fuckin planet who feels the goddamn need to get fucked up. I’ve been drunk before, and I really cannot understand what is so great. It’s supposed to eliminate my problems for a few minutes. I only found it to be more depressing. ***** it. I dont care. whatever. Drink yourselves into a coma I dont care. *****, I dont know.
I’m such a passive person. I’ve hurt, I’ve caused pain and now I’m sorry. I feel so much remorse that I tend to let others get away with things they shouldn’t get away with.
You’re more blessed than you know that you don’t have anything life threatening and normally I’d tell you to get on with your life. But I just can’t do that this time.
$100? What’s that worth? It’s worth nothing from what he took from you. You don’t deserve the kind of hell a person like that can inflict and do you want to live with memories, and knowing he’s gonna do the same thing to others? There are some evils that you can’t just bury. Doesn’t it make you sick to your stomach just thinking of it?
He’s a worthless piece of shit. That’s obvious to the world. You have everything and you have to make it so he has nothing. All you have do is prove you’re the survivor and come out on top.
There’s a million and twelve ways to make peace with someone else’s sin. Pick one and don’t let him get away with it. If he can’t feel guilt over what he’s done then you have to make him feel it. Get him arrested or do what you can to wipe him off the Earth. For your sake and my sake and everyone else’s sake.
One last thing …. wasted is not the answer. Whatever is trying to break you down, it’s winning already because you’re doing half of the work all by yourself. Getting wasted cures nothing, fixes nothing, just burns out your brain little by little. You’ll regret it in the end, always do. Trust me, I know.
Be happy, Blacklight
with regard to you curren t situation….first off be greatfull for the fact that “david” has stayed with you through this…i dont know how many guys i know that would walk away from this simply because it is a difficult time (sad part is is that i am a guy and would never do that…may take a step back to reflect but never walk away).as for “todd” what he did was disgracefull and cannot be forgiven.nothing can repair the damage he did.i can perfectly understand the need to drown misery for a while i do it too.but the material things you lost with the exception of the pics.forget about it they’re material so they can be replaced.
when you die..david would remember the good things about you…die! come on die! *laughs*
todd is a very nasty guy…hope his soul burn in hell.
kill da motherf&%#*er. ive been through the samwe shit. he doesnt deserve to be living. at the least, castrate him. that way he wot ever be able to have pleasure again, which is just dandy! hpoe you feel better.