its been so long
since i can say this
but i really do hate myself
all the people i have hurt
all the innocence i stole
all in the name of fun
i hurt a fragile boy
he opend my eyes
to a world of darkness
and made me alive
even though i killed him
all because of me
i blame my sorrow
on the one who started
it all
he stole MY innocence
and stole my life
all in one swipe
he did it to me
so i do it to them
to see what it feels like
takeing someones life
molding it like clay
killing it when i am done
but you see
i still love my boybeyond hell
but he might not love me
his poetry has stopped
and i wish it hadnt
it soothed my soul
to read HIS soul
now all he wants is
death
my tears dont win
i tell him dont leave
not to look at death
but he still looks
and never stops
even though i cry
wishing i was dead
he never knows how bad
i wish i was dead
blood dripping from my
wrists
eyes
neck
head
it would be so devine
to hang in my room
next to my bed
or slit my wrists open
let it bleed into the tub
each drop that falls
is a tear that i have shed
he’ll never know
only he knows
not Ty
but my boybeyond hell
he knows my sorrow
my mask
my pain
the new one never knows
he thinks he knows
but does he know me?
i do love him yes
but that only means
i ‘ve moved on
good things are happening
but still i long for the darkness
and the cold he brought
i wasnt afraid of the dark with him
he opened my eyes
but i left him
killed him
as i am sitting here
killing myself
what he wont know
wont hurt him
my wrists are slit
my gun is cocked
the noose is tightended
i sit here waiting
knowing
he’ll never know