I opened my eyes again, expecting a ceiling filled with stars or a hospital ceiling, in which Death lurks under every day. But instead I heard screams cornering me into a sign. The sign read, Gateway to Hell.
I looked around to see if there was any other person. I was in a cake-like place that a blood-like color. Off in the distance I could see a person climbing to the top of the cave. He was screaming for God to help him. Gods too busy punishing and blessing people. I saw a spider-like creature catching him and throwing him down into a pool. The pool was a color between black and gray. It looked clear, yet it was thick. He floated back to the top. Was he dead? No, we are already dead. You cant die in hell, can you? Youre supposed to burn for eternity.
I felt a tap at my shoulder. I turned around, finding a gorgeous guy standing before me. He had black, spiked hair, the tips of his hair was red. He wore baggy pants and a Slipknot shirt on. He was well built and had a seducing smile. But most of all, I loved his eyes. He had blue eyes. Baby blue. They were contacts. I think his real eye color was brown because I could see the brown peeking out from underneath. He was a beautiful sight.
He smiled and asked if we were really dead. I smiled and answered yes to him. His eyes lowered and I lost the window to his soul. I peeked from under him and asked him if he was okay. He looked up and said, Yeah, Im just bummed that I didnt say good-bye.
Oh, well… dont worry. Youll see them again. I mean everyones gotta die someday. I tried to reassure him with a hug. He accepted it and we stood there for a couple of minutes. He had a warm body for a dead person.
So where do we go now? He asked.
I dunno. Hmm… Lets go over there. I pointed to an entrance. He nodded and we took off.
Thanks. I said as we walked.
For what? He said.
For being here and walking down the path to eternal pain with me. I said with a fake smile.
Well, I guess youre welcome. I owe it to the car. I was skateboarding and I guess I turned the corner too late. How about you? Howd you end up here?
I thought of myself. I left the world of happiness and love to come to a world of sorrow and pain. Yet, pain and deceit overruled happiness and love on Earth. And Hell is for reminding you of love and happiness you once had. I still dont know which is better, Earth or Hell? I left Mandy, Darren, Mom, Elaine, and all the others for a cave climbing creature, demonic wolves, cruel humans, and perhaps, Satan. But, whats worse? Burning in hell with these dark angels or eternal pain caused by friends?
I killed myself. I overdosed on pain relievers and sleeping medicine. I slit my wrist. But, I’m not regretting it. He turned to me with a new soul. His eyes shined.
Im not regretting it either. Im glad I came. He smiled and walked on. This time I smiled. This one was real.
Yes, you could say I was weak. I never could stand pain. Even the smallest things hurt me. A little party would hurt me. Whenever I wasnt invited, Ill feel like Im invisible. A razor blade could tell me that I existed. The sight of blood doesnt scare me. For other girls, blood and galore makes them shriek and run to their masculine boys. These are the same boys that run from Death. I laugh and ask when I can dance with him again. Soon, he replied. Maybe then, I could stay and not be tapped on the shoulder and see Life smiling at me, taking me away from Death, I had thought. Well, I have a date with Death.
I guess all I needed was a gesture of acceptance. It made me real again. I smiled again, for now I have a friend. Now if only he was with me on Earth. But if he was, I know I wouldnt be here. I lost a life for the feeling of acceptance. In a way, it was worth it. You cant live without a friend. An angelic soul named… hmm… what is his name? I chuckled. I didnt know the name of my new friend. He looked over and asked why I was smiling.
I still dont know your name. I informed him.
Oh, hehe, my names Devin. Whats yours? He said.
Its Melana. I like your name.
Melana. Melana an original name. He tried out my name on his tongue.
We reached the pool in which I saw earlier the man who was caught by the creature and thrown in. The man was still floating. Then out of nowhere, the spider-like creature appeared. The top half of the creature was of a humans. The bottom half was of a spider. It approached us and Devin stood up in front of me. It was sweet of him to think about me first, worrying not of his safety, but we backed up anyway.
I am not here to hurt you. My purpose here is to make sure everyone passes through this pool. Some people are just afraid of what they see. They see the people floating and then me. Who knows what theyre thinking? But sometimes facing the past is scarier than facing a demon. Just step onto the water and youll see flashbacks of your life. You wont end at the same time. One has more bad deeds or love in their life than another. And also it helps you realize how life is precious, in your case, Melana. And for Devin, this helps you see the hurt youve caused others. And remind you of love. Youre going need it while you pay for the pain you caused. Anyway, come step into it now. She backed away and made a gesture.
I looked at Devin and hugged him. I dont know when we will meet again. I dont want to lose my new friend. He smiled and told me hell wait for me. We held hands walking into the pool. I closed my eyes and went under.
I opened my eyes again and felt a cold breeze. I saw myself at nine months. I was an adorable baby. I wonder, what happened? Here I am, at this age, and Im already crying. I havent learned of love and hate, yet Im crying. Mom enters, hearing me cry. Elaine runs after her, screaming for Mom to play with her. Mom tells her to lower her voice so I can sleep. Thats probably the first thing she did for me. My existence and health was what she gave to me. She gives Elaine everything else. Shes that 17-year-old senior Mommys girl. But she needs it anyway, why I am complaining?
I walked out of the room and saw two children chasing each other. I was three and Elaine was six. I stole her Barbie doll and I heard her, screaming, Ken needs to get married! Mom was doing the laundry and I ran behind her. Mom took the Barbie out of my hand and told me no. Then told Elaine to behave and let me play with it later. Elaine said okay and walked into her room. I left Mom and followed Elaine.
I saw another image when I entered Elaines room. I remember this. My parents were fighting and my sister and I hid in her room, crying. Elaine held me in her arms, protecting me from the hurtful words. Although it didnt help, it felt nice that I fitted in her arms. She was there for me then. She was that twelve-year-old helping hand. I miss those times.
Then the image blurred and vanished before my eyes. Another rose. I saw myself at about twelve. I was crying in the bathroom, for a reason I dont want to remember. But whatever that reason was, I was so upset; I had a knife beside me. I havent felt the pain of the blade yet, but was thought about. Its been about two years. This was the first time I cut myself.
I watched myself pick up the knife. I held it tightly and put my wrist out. I had closed my eyes as I slide the blade across my wrist but I watched myself feel the pain. Blood trickled down my arm and my ears mixed, causing a thinner substance that flowed everywhere.
I walked out, leaving the other me, crying and bleeding all over. I saw other visions but the one filled with love was when Elaine held me close to her, like I was precious to her. The one I wished to relive was when Darren was still with me. A memory with Darren was a piece of treasure. Never will I forget the feeling he gave me. But the hate that he and Mandy gave me covered the love.
Then Devin came to me and woke me up. My time was up. I realized what I missed. I had love while not knowing. I hugged Devin tightly, not wanting to lose something I treasured now. He hugged me back and asked if I was ready.
Only if you come with me. I dont wanna be lonely in this horrible place alone. I told him.
Yep. Ill be with you. He held me tightly and walked on.
We walked in the direction that felt right. In some places it was cold, others too hot. We walked through fire to get to the other side. Devin felt the fire with his hands and leaped through. I followed after him. I looked back and the flames grew. Its okay now, they whispered, you got someone now. Yep, I do.
Devin and I reunited again, walking on. Were burning in hell together for eternity. Not alone.