back after a year..

Pulling into the hotel parking lot across from the DV8, she glanced over at the line of people around the club’s entrance.

It hadn’t started letting anyone it yet. She felt really nervous as she stepped out of the car, for she would finally get to see him again after this long, painful year of waiting. The anticipation was making her dizzy, almost sick.

Scanning the crowd, she recognized some people from her old high school and a few she had met at shows the years before. She didn’t see him, but she knew he’d be there since he was usually always at these shows. He had no idea she’d be there, to be sure. He thought she was still in Italy, expecting that she’d return next week, like she had told him. He was planning to pick her up at the airport then.
“No doubt that will be one of the best days of my life,” he had assured her on one of the many long distance phone calls they had shared over the last year that she gladly paid for. He had never called her.
“But he wrote me a bit and emailed quite often,” she had told herself whenever she had longed for him to call, “and he’s waiting this whole year for me. I know he loves me. My friends say he still talks about me and all.”

As she crossed the street and headed for the back of the line, she noticed a guy with spiked black hair and a “too drunk to fuck” t-shirt yelling something at her. As he walked a bit closer she recognized him as one of the guys who had occasionally smoked her out at the skatepark a couple years back. “Good times,” she thought to herself, and tried to remember his name, but since she couldn’t, she decided she didn’t care anyways, and just wanted was to find who she was looking for.

The line started moving
“Maybe it will be easier to find him inside,” she though to herself as skatepark guy approached her.
“Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while,” he said. She could tell right off that he was stoned out of his box.
“Ya, I’ve been around Europe this last year. But oh, hey, you know Brian, right? Tall, skinny guy with the dark hair, use to hang out with that Joe guy a lot, you know..do you think he might be here tonight?” she asked, nervously playing with her lip ring.
“Uh, I don’t talk with him much but probably, I usually see him around here.”
They came to the entrance and gave their tickets. Once inside, skaterboy left to talk to some mohawked chick, leaving her alone to look for Brian.

Lighting a cigarette, she tried to spot him through the sea of plaid, spikes, and boots. Disappointed at not seeing him yet, she headed for the bathroom, and then to the mirror to check her reflection. She began nervously fixing her wild hair, wondering if the black dye was too faded. She rubbed at her smudged black eye-liner and tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach.

A sudden wave of paranoia hit her. “What if he’s not actually here?!” she thought. She had never known for sure that he was coming. But she wanted to see him so bad!

She turned when she noticed a group of 3 girls giggling. They looked about 12 and two of them were wearing pink MXPX shirts. One of them was pointing to a bathroom stall and whispering something to her friends. The stall door opened and a skinny, pale guy walked out, leading a very attractive girl by the hand after him. The guy had the girl’s dark lipstick smeared on his face.

They headed for the exit of the bathroom, exchanging guilty smiles with eachother, but stopping suddenly when the guy spotted a wide-eyed girl standing in front of the mirror, her face filled with hurt.
“Alex? Whoa, what are you– I thought…” he started.
“Oh, fuck..I need some air,”she muttered, and immediately turned and left. Brian was about to follow, but lipstick girl held him back.
“What’s this all about?”she eyed him suspiciously.

Once outside, Alex sat down on a curb, trembling a bit. She could feel her face growing hot and her eyes began to water. Her stomach was turning.
“Its not his fault,”she told herself,”we were both allowed to see other people until I got back, and he thought he still had this week. He promised he’d break up with whoever he’s with when I came back…”

This was true, but it didn’t help. She just couldn’t handle seeing him with someone else, and it hurt so bad. She loved him so much. Why’d she have to see that. She gritted her teeth, trying to hold back the tears. “Its not his fault. I shouldn’t make a big deal over this. He had every right to–.” The tears started streaming down her face. She hated feeling jealous. She hated feeling hurt.

“God, I bet he likes her more, she’s definitely prettier than me, really, I’m ugly, I’m fucking worthless, I fucking hate myself…”