FALLEN?

When was the first time we met, I don’t know if you remember that time, for me it will always be engraved onto my heart and my memory, I remember every word you said, I remember all your movements, all your expressions, I can still see it in my mind screen, as it was happen yesterday.

I was a fool then, and I am fool still, but nevertheless what I felt then and I still feel for you is still the same, when I didn’t know you well, I liked you, but now I know you more I truly love you, you may say I am wrong for loving you, you may say: forget me, for I could never love you but as a friend.

So what if you can’t love me, that doesn’t change a damn thing, forgive my rudeness please, I love you and I will love you still, even when you say that love is a strong word that shouldn’t be said that often, you know for many years I walked alone, and forlorn in heart and soul through darkest paths.

I know pain, I know fear, I know despair, I know sorrow and grief, and yet even knowing that you can hurt me badly, even knowing that you are the cause of my own demise, of my downfall I still stand before you and say: I love you, I will always love you as long as there is still a spark of life in my shattered heart.

No matter into how many shards you broke my soul and heart, no matter that each day that passed was filled with pain and sorrow, that every passing day was a new agony to my crumbled will, for as long as I still breathe with my weary body, with a smile in my face I will say: I love you.

I told you once and I tell you now, I don’t expect a damn thing, I don’t give to you my love expecting yours, I just want you to know that I love you, that you are special to me, that you mean everything to me, that for you I don’t care losing my life or my soul.

I just want you to know that once there was a fool guy, who fell in love to you, that there was a simple boy who tried to catch the stars with is bare hands, that tried to be up to your level, that no matter how many times he fell, he stood still against the storm preaching is love to you.

Someone as you I thought that could only exist in the most marvelous dreams, someone as you that seems too perfect to be real, too wondrous for this mortal life, as an angel, as a star you brought light to my darkened life, you brought me hope, when I had plunged into despair, you made me realize that I could love

And yet I know this cannot keep going like this, I am afraid I have lost all, that I have made my mind, I don’t know what to say, I realized I am cursed to spoil every single meaningful thing in my life, for gladness and happiness never were meant for me.

I know for I feel it rising again in my soul, the moments we passed together will always be in my memory, burning ever bright, that is why I have to go now, to a place so dark that could quell that seething light, to a place where the sweet embrace of oblivion will bring rest to my tortured heart.

I will walk down many dark paths, without bearing any hope any more, forsaken and lone, but worry not for me for I chose this path, I will go to where those who lost everything go to lose themselves and be released forever of all worries and cares.

Don’t wait for me, for from this journey I will never come back, don’t cry for me for I don’t deserve your precious tears and beside I would have never wanted you to be sad because of me, and more than all don’t pray for me, for to the place I go it wouldn’t avail me, not to where I go now.

Once I said to you, I would do everything for you, all but one thing, I said: Ask me for everything but not to forget you for I will never do such thing, not even for you. Well I am glad to say to you that now I am seeking to forget you, just I hope that in hell, where I go, my heart will finally forget you.

I be glad to know that you have found someone, someone to love, I hope you love him as much as I still love you, I hope you can be truly happy with him, that he realizes that within you he has found the greatest, most beautiful and fairest of all the women that walks in this waking land.

I be glad to know, before I go to the place of no return, that you will be happy for all time, that your life will be filled with light, a light I couldn’t give to you, I would have liked very much to know that, but the bleeding from my wrist won’t stop now, and I feel now the cold touch of death’s claws at my back.

My body weakens, my sight gets hazy and my head giddy, a veil of darkness is covering my sight, so that must means that my life is waning fast, so before I pass away let me told you once again what I ever told you with all my heart, thought I never expected and answer for that: I Love you with all my heart, could you love me back, I know is a strange request but please answer no, so I can go now to what is beyond the dawn.

Be glad for I go with she, the one I loved almost as I loved thee, I go with lady Death to follow the path of darkness, forevermore I hope that my soul burns in hell’s pits, where I always dreamed to be