Entries from July 2002 ↓

Drink the wine, my love.
Feel it flowing in to the veins,
my only love.
Feed by this spell, deadly bride.
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No longer care,
No longer share,
No one to lie for, to no one to yell on,
No pride to die for,
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She come to take you away,
She come to take all your hell

To blow on your house of cards
She come to take all off your musk,
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So you think this
stars are made for us
To look up to the sky
with your love one
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The years that passed me by
Does not help me to understand
So fucking tired and steal asking why?
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“so its time to face the face of the beast,
its now or forever,
you better embace what ever is here,
if you will not, its will embrace all of your fears.”
he said.
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from the day you teach me fear,
i stop to know what is lie and what is reel.
from the day you toll me lies,
i stop to care and stop to feel.
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I live in a world
A world in which I control
I live in a world
Where I torture your condemned soul
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Can you heal this tattered heart
That burns with so much pain
Or would you rather watch me
As I scream out in vain
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He was considered the “strange” guy at my school. He was the kid that was outcasted only because of his looks. He was tall and some what skinny with black hair and deep brown eyes. He wore black clothing each day and would always kept to himself. Everyone saw him as a freak, everyone but me. I saw him for what he really was….a master piece.
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Swirl around in the pool of pain
Dance around like we are both insane
Make merry with me again and again
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i can’t really think back to a time when i was genuinely 100% happy. i don’t know what happened to me along the way. its like one day i woke up and everything had changed.
and i hate the way i feel inside. because i can’t be happy. there is something inside that keeps dragging me down. and one of these days i’m not going to make it back up because i don’t want to be here anymore. i can’t exist in this world.
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wet pillows perched in a pile
rigid curves of an evil smile
[colours run and blur the scene]
up in flames with my gasoline

if your bi or gay, would you let some punk ass jerk, or bitch, take over your life? If you dump them and they beg for you back would you?

Crying out in darkness yet no one’s there to hear
I pray for someone’s kindness to save me from my fear.
To help me overcome this want, this never ending need.
To stop myself from slicing through, please don’t let me succeed.
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When was the first time we met, I don’t know if you remember that time, for me it will always be engraved onto my heart and my memory, I remember every word you said, I remember all your movements, all your expressions, I can still see it in my mind screen, as it was happen yesterday.
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I hesitated at first. It was probably my natural instincts but i couldn’t stop now. I was so close to bliss. The knife touched down. It was cold on my skin. I dragged it across my chest. It was painful ecstacy. The knife came to the end of it’s line. i looked down at the cut i had made accross my chest. It didn’t seem complete. I wanted more. More pain. More pleasure. More blood to run down my chest. Continue reading →

Singing softly your moan of death
Finally giving to me your last breath
As I held you in my arms
As I covered all your secret charms
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Heaven knows im trapped
Walls become my pads
And im falling in so deep
Beauty spinning webs awaken me with sorrow and deciet
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Fingers on a tree,
touching death,
seeing me,
and all the broken atempts I’ve made,
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I’m dying by the day,
I wish that you could stay,
ever less, never more, all I do is cry
can I see you fill the space behind my eyes,
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Several times he had asked her, several times she has denied him. He is patient.
He climbs into his car and starts the engine, letting it idle as he ponders his obsession…… her name was Lanell. She was everything to him, his stars, his moon, his galaxy and all of the beauty within. He must have her.
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(Continuation of « shadows »)
The remnants of her thoughts were raging to get free as the moonlight appeared out of nowhere. The hate that had built up in her heart was the chain holding her down, holding her captive as she slowly gave up. He pressed firmly down on her sore breast as if he needed a grip for all the hate he was creating, to prove he needed no protection, no rubber glove to cover the hand that hardens down your hopes. He pushed so far deep that she had lost all feeling in her body.

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beyond the sky of falling hate.. depression which is truly fate.. where emptiness comes so near.. and life is fully feared.. now Continue reading →

As drakness rolls in
Bitter drops of sin
Wetening my appetite
I’m on a verge within
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I’m always ready to finish
To paint this sad world, red.
I can forever tolerate this
Paint a picture on my head.
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It was all around them…
Slowly it had started around the previous turn of the century, but it had been in the planning stages for much longer.
It was a perfect way to control the masses to allow them easier sleep, mindless numbing un-noticable servitude.
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hello to all… i’m just another man with the half of his soul caught in darness… a gemini-ruled nature: confusion & clearity… love & hate… pleasure & pain… but… in the end… this is what life is… light and darness are two different paths in the same highway… you can’t enjoy the light if you haven’t lived in darness at least a moment…

i never had to lose all that i loved,
i’ve kept it all locked in a drawer,
i’ll never know what it is to hurt like that,
i’ve never hurt like that before,
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I laugh, and tell jokes
I jump, and I play
But I don’t belong
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