Day Two
I want you
I do
I want you so much
Why can’t I just do it?
I want you now
You know it,
But I won’t
You ask me, but I just turn away
Just make me do it, force me
I won’t mind, when it’s all done
I’ll be gone
I’ll remember you, will you still talk to me
Or will you leave me
Please don’t
I’ll still want you
Maybe we can be together forever
We won’t know if we don’t try.
Take me away
Cut me there
Take it away
I want it to be gone
Please help me
I can’t stand it anymore
Why I can’t I be like everyone else
Why isn’t everyone else like me?
There’s so much extra
So much I could do without
Get rid of it
I don’t want it
Why do I have it?
I can’t stop eating
It calls me
It wants me
I want it
I wish I were you
The touch
Was great
I’ve never felt this way before
I feel like I can fly
Can I?
I want to go
Away with you
Will you take me?
let’s go now
I want to be away from here
can I be with you forever
I’d like that
can we leave now
I’d die for you
will you die for me too?
I hope so
Can I have you?
Please
You like my stomach
why?
it’s so big
it’s massive
You could never hold it
only grasp it
I wish it would disappear
will you make it go away?
why can’t my face shine like the sun?
can I make it do that?
I’d like to change everything
the way you look at me makes me feel beautiful
Am I beautiful?
Why don’t I see it?
you look into my eyes
You begin to drown
I look into yours and see nothing
empty sockets
why isn’t it the same?
my lips aren’t ruby red
they don’t shimmer in the moon light
my skin is dull
it’s just there
it’s not tight, and it isn’t always soft
don’t touch me
okay…
go ahead
If I was gone tomorrow,
would anyone miss me
would anyone care
I wish I could disappear
without a trace
of my hum drum life
lying motionless on the floor
I try to feel what it would be like to be GONE
I stare out the window,
“friends” of mine having fun outside.
why am I so shy
why can’t I change
someone whisk me away
force me to go away
leave this place, once and for all
i want to hold someone,
I want to be with someone
i want to be loved
i want to love without anyone bugging me about it.
he doesn’t like me
neither does he
yet I pursue
and pursue
and get hurt time and again
what’s wrong with me
me
me
me
me
too much of me
too little of anyone else.
seems like I am ignored
but I’m smart
no one likes that
i am not important to anyone
i could easily get rid of my problems
there are so many ways,
maybe I could run away and start a new life
it’d be hard
But I could do it.
what would happen if it didn’t work out right
what if I was alive when it was done
could I live with myself if i was messed up
a holiday is coming and i am going to be alone once again
i want to have someone to show off to my friends and relatives
so many people disapprove
they all have someone
i want to be kissed again
i want to be touched again
it feels so good
it feels so right
I remember his touch, his smell
i was reminded of him the other day
a man stood next to me
I looked into his eyes
but it wasn’t him
i was hoping it was him
he stopped talking to me
after I didn’t call back
why didn’t I call back
why couldn’t I call back
I’m so stupid
and he’s going away too
he’s leaving soon
some place far away
to be a fireman
a fireman and a teacher
what a match
but i don’t think it will ever be
i want it to be
it won’t ever be
i think we are officially done
i hope something happens soon
i hope i can get enough courage to call him one day
or another way of communicating with him
but not soon enough
it might be too late
it took too long to get him
and too lose him for such a stupid reason is even more stupid
i need him back and soon
i will get him back soon
soon
i will do something about it
why doesn’t he call me
why
I should just let him go