damaged wings

i saw him everyday walking the halls. dressed in his trench coat and those night dark boots. i never stared at him hard like the others in school. and the way they would mock him made me angry and i felt sorry for him and i respected him cause he never fed into their stares and wispering. i never knew who he was and thought id never know but on that fate full day at the bus stop i felt a link

story:
it was damp out side if i remember correctly i was waiting for the city bus just sitting at the stop staring out in to nothing when he walked up he sat on the other side of me i noticed he was very pale the only part i ever saw of him was his hands and half of his face he always seem to look down and the only normal part of him was that silver cd player but he must have had it in his back pack he never said a word he just sat down even if he did say something which i dobt i wouldnt be able to hear. the earphones were blasting way above normal it was just my daily meditation like drugs to hear my songs loud echoing through my ear like a high or something. when the bus pulled up i got on and whent to the back just something i always did just to seclude my self. to my suprise he was going that same direction and i was at a lost for words when he sat down beside me.probably because the bus was practically empty other than the other people who were just getting off of work. i had no problem with him sitting near me just the embarrasing moment when my books fell out of my backpack. i swear it was like a movie because losing my religion had just started and when he reached down to help me pick up my books it was the first time id seen his face pale as his hands but his green percing eyes stood out most of all it was like he was about to curl up into a ball any minute. we exchanged glares for what seemed like a split secound i couldnt belive i was staring at him so i looked away quick. i at least said thank you and when i sat down he sat near me.
when the bus stopped in front of the school i got out and walked through the double doors i turned the corner and looked back to see where he was he was heading the opposite direction and when he looked back i turned quickly the other way.
the next time i saw him he was sitting on the steps of the side building listening to his cd player and motionless. i walked up to him and sat down. i asked him what he was listening to he said queen of the damned soundtrack
just then some girls came out of the building and looked at me like i had done something stupid but ignored them i asked if i could hear it and he just handed over the earphones then the bell rung and we got up and i asked him what class he was in? he said ms.stanley or something i handed him back the earphones and he just was practically walking me to class and everybody was looking at me like i had broken the law or something.
the next occation i ran in to him was at a party he was at the back table doing nothing. just like a movie the parachute song trouble came on which is my like one of my favorites and seeing him there was like two great things at once.
i walked up to him and asked him was anybody sitting there he said no so i sat down. i asked how he liked the party he shook his head no. i said what about the music he shook his head yeah. i asked did he want to go outside with me he was gesturing yeah so i just grabbed his hand to guide his way through the crowd everyone looked at me again like i had done something wrong. i ignored them like before when we got outside i asked him a lot of questions like what was his name,where was he from,what grade was he in.
he said his name was david,he was in the 10th grade,he was from houston,he lived not to far from me for him to be at the same bus stop. i told him my name was sabrina,that i was in the tenth also, and that i was from N.c.
then all of a sudden we just started talking bout us and our families but he never said much about his.
the next day i walked up to him at school and we started talking about class and the snobs that roamed the hall snobs i couldnt stand that look at people like they juged them. then as usual the bell rung all to sudden.
it continued that way everyday until my stepmom found out that i was hanging out with him then she accused me of trying to act like someone i wasnt. i couldnt believe it she was hollering at me over something she had no control over and juging david because of the way he shuned social events that was unfair. she downed my music and the way i dressed like it made no difference i d been dressing that way way before i moved back in with her everything i did was wrong to her i was frustrated. she told me to come out of my room and to turn off that damn music and i had to sit in there and hear her rant and rave over who should be my friends and what i should be listening to and how i should live, for a bout an hour when she finished i disappeared into my room laying across my bed examining my self. i couldnt belive i was letting her get to me that wasnt normal so i just forgot the whole thing and turned on the radio.
the next day i saw david in his coat i whent toward him like that steplady didnt say anything to me. he said something about how he was going to try to get some car fixed then out of the bloom he asked me to be his girl friend i just said yeah.
we talked about everthing every detail anyway.that was the first time he grabbed my hand his was cold as usual colder than when i felt my papas skin when i snuck in the back of the funeral home to see him when he died. david was always cold like he was dead and i was always warm. he always had the look like any moment he would ball up on the floor. he walked me to class and everyone looked at us like we were outlaws or offended them. that made me sick. this continued for a couple of weeks that is until my stepmom found out that i had hugged him in the hallway. who ever was talking to her about us was lying. she said somebody told her that he was a devilworshipper and that he was stupid. i was so fed up with who ever that was and how they stereo typed him. i was sick of her judging me nothing i did was right so why try to please her. then she just whent off saying i was going to start dressing like a girl which ment more than likely i was going to have to dress like those snobs in the hall way. then she said i was going to find some new friends that i was going to stop walking around and dressing like death,i took that as a complement, i was sick of her then. i couldnt stand her i was sick of everything. my family for never really liking me but pretending they did. i was sick of my dad for marrying the wrong women then going to prison leaving my sister and i here to put up with there shit. i was sick of my mom for running out on me. i just wanted everything to be fine for one fucking moment just one all i could think was it was all a tale that none of this was really real. that we were all robots but everything came in to my head at once pictures like a fast movie that skipped and i wondered why am i here? all i had keeping me alive was my sister who i had to watch cry almost everynight because of my grandmothers abuse and my dads girlfriends abuse. i just had bad pictures that stabbed my brain everything from when i was little the time i saw that dude i didnt even know shot in the head,the time when my sister and i was punched in the face for snoring, the time when i was beaten down for not doing the dishes when i was 8, the time when my aunts and family called me bitches and whores just for me acting like a 10 year old. then time i was wopped with a shoe for not knowing where i put my stuff,the time my sister handed me her food which i didnt take because it was all we had and she was shaking becuse she was so hungry i was sick of it all, i just couldnt think straight the times when everyone knew i needed counsling but ignored me. i was just a walking heep of junk taking up space just there for nothing. just sick. so i stormed out of the house all i remembered was trees and those pills and just darkness.
when i woke up it was night i could tell i was in the woods near what i called the blair river. i was holding my head because it ached so bad.i sat up and looked around ito see if i was the only one there but i wasnt i could tell it was david who was sitting by the bank just without his coat. he looked back at me when he heard the leaves crunching. turned around and just stared at me with those eyes haunting me.
i asked him what happened he said he saw me so he walked toward me but when he got closer i was falling. he ran toward me but i fell to fast. i must have fallen on something sharp because there was excrutiating pain at the back of my head i touched it and i could feel i was bleeding my hands were bloody but i didnt care. david walked up to me.he ran his finger through my hair till he got to the bak of my head then looked at his hands he didnt make any scared faces except for the first time i could tell he had concern and was wondering why i did what i did. i told him i didnt want to talk about it that id be fine i guess. thats when he called me angel. i smiled,i looked nothing like the angels who were so happy in the pictures id seen. he grabbed my hand. his was warm. i swear in that exact moment he came alive it was like he was my angel but with damaged wings. i didnt think about anything but him at that moment everything was just mediocre compared to him.