I long for an understanding of things.The reasons. I believe I lack the intellegance.I look at people in an entirely different way now.Suspicious.I can tell how much things have changed.
Now when I see people. I view them not as a body with a personality, but as a soul.I believe that your outer “shell” means nothing - but obviously the way you use it means something. Whether it is for live or death.But how from only watching someone can you possibly begin to understand them or their beliefs?
Everyday I see and talk to people. I realise that even by doing this I will never get to know the real them. There are very few who will reveal their souls. Even with them, it takes time , trust, compassion with a sense of belonging.
So thats where true friendship lies I suppose. Sharing true beings with another person.
Im not too ready to unveil my inner feelings though. Not any more. I realise that others may not have the capability to deal with the “real ” me.
But most of all I trust my instinct now.I dont listen to those I dont entirely trust.
Hell, my words may be nothing, mean nothing. But please consider what Im saying for a moment.
Ive always got me to rely on…well…maybe not even that.Its kind of sad, if relieving, that it will all end soon. Not soon enough perhaps…