Entries from September 2002 ↓

I feel so trapped. There are so many people around me who say they want to be my “friends”.How do I know who to trust?What if they just want to use me?

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Intertwining thoughts.
Im speechless,breathless.
Watching you stand there,
Just being yourself.
No false smiles this time.
No lies?
Happyness?

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I couldn’t sleep that night; thoughts of hatred pulsed through my brain. I hate the human society, thus I strike out at it in manners suitably horrific, gratuitous and violent. It’s odd how they would rather spend their money on athletes, musicians, and weapons than medicine, research and themselves. But enough of them, they make me sick. Continue reading →

sitting and dreaming of what it must be like to breathe
a breath unlike that of any other
a breath of light, a breath of hope
a breath that may free my mind
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he was to young to remember
to young to tell
and if you had heard would you
believe in his tale
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Forgive my eyes, for they decieve
They do not mean to, but they do
And shame they bring upon me
Shame they do

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She felt so safe and was even smiling as we led her into the windowless room. You forced her down onto the wooden floor. She looked around for a cushion of some kind, but there was nothing … nothing but a cardboard box.

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the way you think
your human stink
the flesh is off the hand

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i am swimming in the abyss of my very mind. i am searching for my soul eveen though i know i do not have one.
although in my mind we have two, one we keep and one we have the choice to give away. i seem to have lost one. i barely feel i have been numb for years. not feeling anything.
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Her pale snow skin was illuminated with the iridescence of the silky moon overlooking her activities, she weakly hummed a chant as crimson tears cried from her wrists. Bags of emotion welling in her eyes as the razor sailed across her ocean of flesh with waves of blood, her deep brown eyes were lost and cold, her innocense was nothing but a figmant of her own small imagination now. Continue reading →

I lie here as if dead,
Why do you come to me for favors?
I have no life in me anymore.
I can barely catch my breath…

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Kinderly is now becoming
Into this world of terror
Bequeath the inner erthe in her
She is now the pearl of our being
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The room was painted black, soft and tender on the eyes, after the harsh glare of the floral wall paper outside. The smoke careered from the tip of the joss stick and spiraled out, like fine silver silk. It curled from the orange point, spreading like a silver ribbon. Jade formed smoke rings in the air. Continue reading →

His pain, a dramatic scene,
Emphasized with teenage dreams

His words, straight from pain
Neurotic notions and fickle emotions Continue reading →

close your eyes my love and travel into the dark recesses of your mind, do you hear them?.. faint, ghost like whispers, tugging at your mind…beckoning you to remember of times past.. oh but to dream…to dream of your temptress that comes from the mist into your mind, igniting the passions… Continue reading →

i had a dream…

and in it you were dead
i used your coffin as a bed
i used you death to rest my head
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Reality is an illusion, nothing is real not love, not hate, not pain,nor fear.We make ourselves victims of these so-called emotions because we think of them as a way to justify our exsistence.Let me tell you none of these are real they are just feeble illusions for the weak minded so they can pity themselves. Continue reading →

the hush of the wind blowing through the grass and trees
Cold stone markers and the head of each grave
The lonely, empty feeling of truth wells up inside me
this is my place, my peace
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Alone and Apart

In the darkness of you heart.
Darkness of a dream.
Death beholden.
Life.
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And The child cries….

“No more, No more,” the beatings never stop,
Love is taught,so many ways, pain maybe hate,
with broken wings angels can not fly,
such is th child’s screams in the night,
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She went to school with me I loved her the first day I saw her she was a goth god to me lips you could kiss for days eyes that glowed in the moon light she was in all my classes but one so I would get to see her beatiful face everyday. Well I am a girl myself so if she was my lover she would be my fist lesbian lover. Continue reading →

Enjoy the pain,
eating the flesh off my tortured soul,
like a fallen angel condemned to forlorn eternity.

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as i stand in the shadows, watching the games of the heart being played, i whisper softly,” do not forsake me my love,” is it the intrigue that i share his heart with another….that his loins may ache for another…. Continue reading →

All my life i have wanted nothing but to find my one true soul mate… I never really wanted to be rich, famous, or even well known. Well finally about two weeks ago i found someone that would be perfect. He is nice, funny, and crazy. He told me that he doesn’t want a serious relationship with anyone and that he just wants to have fun… Continue reading →

“WENDYYY! WENDYYY! WENDYYY! WENDYYY!”
“What the Fuck?”, I asked. Wendy looked at me with a humerous grin on her face and says,”Imagine hearing that shit at night when you’re trying to sleep!”
“What’s wrong with him?”, I asked her.
“Is it scaring you?”
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This was written at a point in which I almost gave up, the point that I am at now with my writing anymore. All my posts are stagnent and will remain so until further notice.
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Your so fucking perfect,
It makes me hurt inside.
Your glowing radience,
pushes me aside.
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Abomination to the world lonely lonely little girl. Kill the people burn your scars redeem your soul and your heart Lacking conviction growing within murder your dolls and commit no sin. Scream in silence burn in hell hate and envy always dwell. Eat at flesh tear at wounds, hold this energy within your womb. Evil sanctuary evil child shooting nuns eating squirrels. No more love no more fear all you hold is hate my dear. Continue reading →

in the corner i sit and cry
hoping to never see light again
my parents are screeming for me to listen
i slit my wrists slowly
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This is my first post on this site… If anyone wishes to contact me, email me first.. I have everyone blocked on AIM because of some recent developements.. Email me if you wish to talk and I will unblock..

Come one, come all and see the broken man..
Talking to himself..
He sits alone and waits for sweet release
He’ll never find it here..
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