I feel so trapped. There are so many people around me who say they want to be my “friends”.How do I know who to trust?What if they just want to use me?
Entries from September 2002 ↓
Krystal Klear
September 28th, 2002 — gothic
Darkend Illumination
September 28th, 2002 — poetic
Intertwining thoughts.
Im speechless,breathless.
Watching you stand there,
Just being yourself.
No false smiles this time.
No lies?
Happyness?
Caddaver art (sequel to making dolls)
September 28th, 2002 — death
I couldn’t sleep that night; thoughts of hatred pulsed through my brain. I hate the human society, thus I strike out at it in manners suitably horrific, gratuitous and violent. It’s odd how they would rather spend their money on athletes, musicians, and weapons than medicine, research and themselves. But enough of them, they make me sick. Continue reading →
the wanting
September 28th, 2002 — poetic
sitting and dreaming of what it must be like to breathe
a breath unlike that of any other
a breath of light, a breath of hope
a breath that may free my mind
Continue reading →
lost cries
September 28th, 2002 — poetic
he was to young to remember
to young to tell
and if you had heard would you
believe in his tale
Continue reading →
this vicious cycle
September 28th, 2002 — poetic
Forgive my eyes, for they decieve
They do not mean to, but they do
And shame they bring upon me
Shame they do
Death of an Angel
September 28th, 2002 — erotica
She felt so safe and was even smiling as we led her into the windowless room. You forced her down onto the wooden floor. She looked around for a cushion of some kind, but there was nothing … nothing but a cardboard box.
CHANGE
September 28th, 2002 — poetic
the way you think
your human stink
the flesh is off the hand
a journal entry
September 28th, 2002 — poetic
i am swimming in the abyss of my very mind. i am searching for my soul eveen though i know i do not have one.
although in my mind we have two, one we keep and one we have the choice to give away. i seem to have lost one. i barely feel i have been numb for years. not feeling anything.
Continue reading →
My Angel
September 28th, 2002 — death
Her pale snow skin was illuminated with the iridescence of the silky moon overlooking her activities, she weakly hummed a chant as crimson tears cried from her wrists. Bags of emotion welling in her eyes as the razor sailed across her ocean of flesh with waves of blood, her deep brown eyes were lost and cold, her innocense was nothing but a figmant of her own small imagination now. Continue reading →
Demons in my mind
September 27th, 2002 — poetic
I lie here as if dead,
Why do you come to me for favors?
I have no life in me anymore.
I can barely catch my breath…
Medieval Chant
September 27th, 2002 — poetic
Kinderly is now becoming
Into this world of terror
Bequeath the inner erthe in her
She is now the pearl of our being
Continue reading →
Suicide in Smoke
September 27th, 2002 — death
The room was painted black, soft and tender on the eyes, after the harsh glare of the floral wall paper outside. The smoke careered from the tip of the joss stick and spiraled out, like fine silver silk. It curled from the orange point, spreading like a silver ribbon. Jade formed smoke rings in the air. Continue reading →
Filthy me
September 27th, 2002 — poetic
His pain, a dramatic scene,
Emphasized with teenage dreams
His words, straight from pain
Neurotic notions and fickle emotions Continue reading →
into the mist
September 27th, 2002 — vampire
close your eyes my love and travel into the dark recesses of your mind, do you hear them?.. faint, ghost like whispers, tugging at your mind…beckoning you to remember of times past.. oh but to dream…to dream of your temptress that comes from the mist into your mind, igniting the passions… Continue reading →
vengeful dream of nights to come
September 27th, 2002 — poetic
i had a dream…
and in it you were dead
i used your coffin as a bed
i used you death to rest my head
Continue reading →
reality is an illusion
September 27th, 2002 — gothic
Reality is an illusion, nothing is real not love, not hate, not pain,nor fear.We make ourselves victims of these so-called emotions because we think of them as a way to justify our exsistence.Let me tell you none of these are real they are just feeble illusions for the weak minded so they can pity themselves. Continue reading →
Cemetary Sweetness
September 27th, 2002 — poetic
the hush of the wind blowing through the grass and trees
Cold stone markers and the head of each grave
The lonely, empty feeling of truth wells up inside me
this is my place, my peace
Continue reading →
Shades of Desire
September 27th, 2002 — poetic
Alone and Apart
In the darkness of you heart.
Darkness of a dream.
Death beholden.
Life.
Continue reading →
The Child Cries
September 26th, 2002 — poetic
And The child cries….
“No more, No more,” the beatings never stop,
Love is taught,so many ways, pain maybe hate,
with broken wings angels can not fly,
such is th child’s screams in the night,
Continue reading →
The erotic night with a girl
September 26th, 2002 — erotica
She went to school with me I loved her the first day I saw her she was a goth god to me lips you could kiss for days eyes that glowed in the moon light she was in all my classes but one so I would get to see her beatiful face everyday. Well I am a girl myself so if she was my lover she would be my fist lesbian lover. Continue reading →
“Land of Sorrow”
September 26th, 2002 — poetic
Enjoy the pain,
eating the flesh off my tortured soul,
like a fallen angel condemned to forlorn eternity.
i watch from the shadows
September 26th, 2002 — gothic
as i stand in the shadows, watching the games of the heart being played, i whisper softly,” do not forsake me my love,” is it the intrigue that i share his heart with another….that his loins may ache for another…. Continue reading →
Blind Hopes
September 26th, 2002 — gothic
All my life i have wanted nothing but to find my one true soul mate… I never really wanted to be rich, famous, or even well known. Well finally about two weeks ago i found someone that would be perfect. He is nice, funny, and crazy. He told me that he doesn’t want a serious relationship with anyone and that he just wants to have fun… Continue reading →
Finding comfort…..on his deathbed.
September 26th, 2002 — death
“WENDYYY! WENDYYY! WENDYYY! WENDYYY!”
“What the Fuck?”, I asked. Wendy looked at me with a humerous grin on her face and says,”Imagine hearing that shit at night when you’re trying to sleep!”
“What’s wrong with him?”, I asked her.
“Is it scaring you?”
Continue reading →
Point of Departure
September 26th, 2002 — poetic
This was written at a point in which I almost gave up, the point that I am at now with my writing anymore. All my posts are stagnent and will remain so until further notice.
Continue reading →
No Perfectionist
September 26th, 2002 — poetic
Your so fucking perfect,
It makes me hurt inside.
Your glowing radience,
pushes me aside.
Continue reading →
Lonely Lonely Little Girl
September 26th, 2002 — poetic
Abomination to the world lonely lonely little girl. Kill the people burn your scars redeem your soul and your heart Lacking conviction growing within murder your dolls and commit no sin. Scream in silence burn in hell hate and envy always dwell. Eat at flesh tear at wounds, hold this energy within your womb. Evil sanctuary evil child shooting nuns eating squirrels. No more love no more fear all you hold is hate my dear. Continue reading →
senses
September 26th, 2002 — poetic
in the corner i sit and cry
hoping to never see light again
my parents are screeming for me to listen
i slit my wrists slowly
Continue reading →
The broken man..
September 25th, 2002 — poetic
This is my first post on this site… If anyone wishes to contact me, email me first.. I have everyone blocked on AIM because of some recent developements.. Email me if you wish to talk and I will unblock..
Come one, come all and see the broken man..
Talking to himself..
He sits alone and waits for sweet release
He’ll never find it here..
Continue reading →
