Entries from October 2002 ↓

Darkness is the thing we fear
In darkness you can not hear
Things that scare us
live among us
In darkness

this isn’t finished because i haven’t had time for adjustments but it sounds ok let me know, i’d like to turn it into a song

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I’m sorry I couldnt save your eyes
guiding me into the path I’d chosen
making me believe
making me none the less…
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Sometimes I wonder if they know the truth. If they can see the darkness behind the light. The place where no man is safe. The place where the unknown knows its place. They laugh now. Continue reading →

sitting, watching mirrors gaze at me
i fled my salvaged abandon and
hung rope
tying my fate to the floor
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She saw the world through broken eyes
Mascara rotting on her well trained eyes
She was reprimanded
When her tears shared themselves with the world
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Putin’s god a tin.
a tin full of gas.
trying to kill the “chechs”.

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Later in some pictures of dead roads, stories had been told;
wonder how big are the woods where wolfs hide from hunters, they just try to stay few more seconds to find themselves, so it begins their sweat in search for the so called spot inside our lack.
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just dont
dont even start with me
you dont know
what youre talking about
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She checked the time at which the e-mail was sent into her box … then reflected what she was doing while he wrote:

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She woke up with the bitter void of existence
Couldnt bear with the darkness
Wide eyes in a sea of blackened water
Drowning in it forever
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These eyes might be pretty
If they belonged to someone else
This hair might be gorgeous
If on someone else but me
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i know when i look at the rest of the world i see a happy place where no one has to worry about life. i know that’s not the fucking truth but i do know this, the look at me like i’m a sin. like i’m not saposta be here on this earth. i go to a school where dressing and being preppy is an everyday lifestyle, but i use to think i wanted to be popular and like them. Continue reading →

Remember youth as you pass by,
as you was once,
so once was i,
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Do not ask which creature screams in the night. D not question who waits for you in the shadows.
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I’m not here, leave a message
-leave me alone-
I wont call you, you never call me
Go ahead, keep calling, keep talking
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I never answer it when it rings,…
It keeps talking, but not talking to me
If by chance its for me, its a lie
I hear voices, voices on the other side
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Like the times I got beaten so bad I didn’t move, or all the tears I cried the nights I felt blue. I remember the pain when those boys played “that game” and when the one thing I wanted to give away ended being stolen on those cold darkened days.
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No one ever noticed me or cared enough about me to lend out a helping hand. just one smile or word of kindness would have done the world of good but no, no one cared to stop and give a helping hand to someone who needed it.
No one was willing to look my way and see a dispriate girl in need.
Goodbye cruel world.

I walked over to my bed and lifted up my mattress.. I pulled out the knife and set down. I opened it up and looked at it.. still listening to my parents bitching in the other room. I started thinking to myself, I was tired of all this. Continue reading →

I love you so but hate you instead
Don’t turn your back or you’ll be dead
I’ll watch you from the dark of night
Silent, brooding and out of sight
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Pull the trigger
Whats done is done
The party’s over
No more fun
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In the end when I am gone
Lost in your memory
A forgotten song
I hope you open up your eyes to see
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somebody is watching the
colour around the floor
nightmares between my ears
dream pills and
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i feel like singing
it’s the clockwork race’s escape of
a snail to a wild star with
ideas of questions and
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The jail or the castle?
in the mist my
house is upside down
there is no space for me in life
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in your eyes i see the century
and you look elsewhere
in your eyes a hundred rivers are opening
in the vagueness without words
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So theres a girl that I really like. Ive known her for a long time but it feels like were so close that me asking her out would be awk’ward. so Im really confused on what I should do. Many of times ive ben ready to ask her but I cant bring myself to do it. any suggestions?

seven broken mirrors
if you wanna see me come
at the beach late in the night
fields are burning cause
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i look for you everywhere
your crying eyes
the world is so silent
things you hide from me
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