Entries from October 2002 ↓

i will not smile to the camera
Kiss the frog i am
Dead and
All the rooms are Gold
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i Loved You and
You Used Me
My body —> Your Doll
My body —> Your Tool
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My sweet
My angel
Where have you gone?
I rip out your flesh
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it confuses me greatly, that even if im feeling like shit, i still wear this smile, cheshire cat complectionary smile.
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for my birthday i want to be reborn… reborn into the night as a vampire and take the blood of mortals. to have this warm red liquid of life slide down my throat slowly and be lost in the entancement once again…
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I stared into the glistening flame. Every so often a spark would detach itself and skip across the dark sky. Burnout. It turned to ash and floated downward slowly - eventually adding to the dust already stacked up by the kerb.

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Why do people say “A fate worse than Death?”
Death is the main thing we fear.
Is thereason some dread their birthdays?
They realize that Death is closer by a year.
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“…knives stained in crimson tears of mine/ blood i long to bleed/ scars multiplying down my arm/ anger that drives me to scream/ dark room/ devoid of life/ ‘cept this pitiful existence known as me/ night’s power and deception/ pain and loneliness i always need…”

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This is my first time posting here! This is a general question and I would Luv to hear wot you would do, make it as erotic and dirty as you like……

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nibbles your ears gently and
bites them bit harder so it hurts a tiny bit, whilst running my finger tips
up and down your back…….I whisper in your ear
“what is your desire, sweet one”……. Continue reading →

My thoughts on this are……. Love can only be eternal if “what comes around goes around” is accepted universal. Continue reading →

Brianna sat with her wavy black hair and piercing hazel eyes, on the rock cliff
overlooking the stormy ocean. Brianna with her heart of sorrow, her name meaning
raven. Dressed in a white robe, she looked like a trailing wisp of ocean mist.
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Dance With the Demon.
by Lestat.

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Black water, like reflectionless glass.
Absolute leaden stillness.
Skip stones across me and see expected ripples
Wink out of existence with uncanny speed.
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Well it’s nearing a week and I still haven’t found you
But I’ll never give up the search
No, Because that’s not what friends do.
Hey, remember when we were friends?
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Im all alone now…
My mom has grew cold & emotionless…
Everyone is gone…
My tears wont stop…
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Why must I be alone forever?
While everyone finds love I don’t…
I don’t care anymore!
Love is an illusion to me now!
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This is my first entry on the web, and part of a larger story. I’ll post each chapter as they unfold.
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I sit here and cry
millions of thoughts taking over my mind
why must i think?
it only leads me to trouble
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So I never put much thought into the fact that the mainstream society is so fucking shallow that just because they dont understand people like me they refuse to except me. Why is this?

curving streets
darkness
alone
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I hate everything….
It use to be all nice between me and him…
What happened??
Now it’s the usual fights everyday!!
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Kiss me, old friend,
And let me scream in pain,
Dig deeper, old friend,
And let me plead insane,
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Slipped into a trance
Slowly unwinding the nerves
And on holy days we danced
Always proclaiming what the future reserved
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::On The Altar Of Sacrifice::Waiting to Die::
::Thinking Of Thoughts::Black Knights Arrive::
::Scared With Despair, Hatred, And Pain::
::Losing My Mind Turning Insane::
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I SIT IN MY CHAIR FILLED WITH DESPAIR
GLOOM EVERYWHERE NO ONE TO SHARE
ALL THE PAIN IS NATURAL
I’M BROKEN AND SORE
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As I bleed my pain away in the bed
The floor now wet and tainted so red
Life has now forever lost all its flair
Why she had to be above all so fair?
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So cold I stand when they told me to forget
They told me to let it go, for I will never get
That what my heart yearns, that which my soul seeks
And yet, if only I could kiss for moment your cheeks
To find the answer that was denied to me. Why was I wrong? Continue reading →

darkness surrounds me
its consumes me
covers me
protects me from the light Continue reading →

Standing at the stone cold hallway
looking at the unfamiliar people passing by
My attention was focused on you… scrutinizing
Your gait like top models do Continue reading →