Entries from December 2002 ↓

So, first weekend after christmas, and what happens? I’m dragged halfway across the country to visit the relatives. Continue reading →

turn up the music
to block out the sound
the yelling
the screaming
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^^V^^Greetings young blood donors ^^V^^

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After taking a long shower, I applied my black lipstick, black eyeliner and black eyeshadow. I brushed my long black hair and pulled my 6inch platform go-go boots on. Since Draven had left, I really didnt wanna be alone. Continue reading →

For years i craved to taste true Love.
For years i have waited for my loves first, true kiss.
Although im not to blame,
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31 December 2002
Well, its new years eve, how i despise it, mostly for one reason, everyone forgets about me, As every new years I am left alone, even my girlfriend doesnt want me around. Continue reading →

You pervade my thoughts
Like a malignant tumor
You leave my mind in turmoil
You bring my blood to a boil

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There’s a sort of perverse pleasure

In the evanescence of a winter earned
After being estranged from a fecundant summer

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Long ago the division was made, or so says the tale.

Long ago pain and happiness were made, or so says the tale.

Long ago I died, and walked into Heaven and Hell…

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lets cut the crap, sure i had a happy childhood. but i feel that is only because i was ignorant to the world around me, i was at peace not knowing anything about discrimination, and losing friends. up until about a year ago… Continue reading →

new year, new resolutions, new crap, new misanthropy and shits.
can you feel the airs heavier, as if Zeus, Odin repeats, the acts of Rangonark again..
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She stands alone on the shore
Nothing matters anymore
Spreads her arms open wide
Now in the ocean she will hide

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Trauma in the mind
Burns me to the core
The emptiness I find
From all the pain before.
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You are myself through your eyes,
All that I love, And all that I despise.
A perfect balance, or an overflow?
There’s only one true way to know.
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Staring into space,
Familiar pain, familiar place.
Is my life a waste?
And should I leave without a trace?
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Life as i know it has gone to hell….ive always known that life wasnt perfect, but with everything goin through my head that is confermed once again…. i have come ot the conclusion that “we” are put on this earth as a joke, stuck as a link between humanity and insanity in which we either choose to go towards one or the other…. Continue reading →

I want to see you suffer
I want to see you go insane
I want to see you be beaten
I want you 2 feel my pain
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I see you
Dont try to hide from me
I love you
We are ment to be!
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Your face so somber
Tore me apart
You tear filled eyes
Broke my heart
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I’m missing you bad
How can you sleep?
Knowing that your
the reason I weep
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A single tear falls
I start to cry
Our Last kiss.
My good bye
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You see my eyes
A window 2 hell
You touch my skin
A cold hard shell
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Faith in me is faith in you
Dying within is dying without
Broken joints are nothing to you
Nothing to you is nothing to me

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I grab my pillows off the bed and march out of the room I shared with my three sisters. It was my last night visiting and i would spend it alone in the hallway like i’ve done so many times. Their nagging and teasing has become a holiday tradition. Continue reading →

I still hear your blood
slowly drip drop by drop.
I still see the tears. that I
know will never stop…
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I’m mad, I’m angry. It’s 3:46 and I can’t fucking sleep. Why?? Because that bastard child-molester is in my head.
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“Come to me.” Lillian whispered.

Vic came to her, as commanded.

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Nothing works anymore. I am a prisoner. It’s like a cancer. I try to run away from it, and sometimes it lets me think I’m free. Only to show up again the minute I stop looking behind me.

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Selenity and Malaki walked along the streets of Sun River Terrace. The once prosperous place was now inhibited by abandonment. Houses were empty, Shops vandalized, most likely in the early hours of confusion.

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I opened my eyes quickly to a tapping sound on my window. It startled me, becuz my window is on the third floor of our house. I stood up and leaned toward the window to what it was, just then my brother grabbed my sides. Continue reading →