I’m sitting here not knowing what to do. I feel lost, alone. I guess it’s just not meant to be. My whole life f*cked up like no tomorrow. I…..I dunno what to do. I feel the pain coming….though I never slit a single cut. I feel the rain coming…..though I never seen a single drop.
Maybe it is meant to be. I might of done this myself. But who’s to blame of this misery? Me? God? Devil? Is there someone to blame? I don’t think so. All has done wrong. All has been wrong. All will be wrong. Forever.
Think of it as a lie. The whole world, a lie. Maybe there’s something else among this world? Another world? Another life that never ends with no pain? No eternal torture? I wish.
Maybe there is you never know ’til you die. That;s why I wanted to go. To find out. To feel the pain before going off to a better life. I look forward to it but people here that are close to me, wouldn’t be anything when I’m gone. They’d fall apart, burdened.
I feel cold, sore. I want him with me. But he can’t. Niether I be with him. So longing for him to be close to me. To hold me. I wish. I hope. I want.
It may not make sense, but what has ever made sense?