Entries from March 2003 ↓

fellings of hate
in my skin
waiting for fate
to sink in..

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Who one falls in love with has a lot to do with particularities in their natures. Sometimes you’ll find that there are people who are drawn to the dark, a person who has a dangerous persona. Then you’ve got those people who lust for innocence in vain and pick out an angel of a creature, maybe seeming even too good for heaven. But this story isn’t about either of these types of people, for the kind I am going to write to you about are few and far between.

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Laying in the shadows
Wilted like a rose
searching through the ashes
for someone no one knows
shards of glass-black as coal
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She was always such a promising child. Full of potential, but perhaps a little too passionate for modern day society. None of them had seen it coming, not one of them. They knew she could be a little unstable, but she didn’t have any real issues. Just a few cuts, scratches, burns. Nothing to be worried about, or so they thought. She was alright, a laugh, it annoyed them when she got on one of those ‘rants’ though. Continue reading →

She Looked At Me, She Smiled And Kissed Me Softly On My Lips. She Got Up And She Walked Away. I Sit There For A Few Minutes, Not Knowing What Just Happened. Then The Tears Hit My Eyes, And I Slowly Start To Realize. She Broke Up With Me…The Words Resound In My Head…She Broke Up With Me. I Look In The Direction Where She Walked Away, And Try To Say: ”Come Back, Please”. My Lips Form The Words, But Without Sound. I Wipe Away A Tear That Rolled Down My Cheek, Hoping No One Noticed That I Was Crying.

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Darkness calling, ranting raving
Flowing blood I have been craving
Soul’s afire, burning, screaming
Figure out life’s endless meaning

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I had only resently moved from england to amercia but i had already built up a messed up reputation in high school. I was the new kid and whats worst i was from england! I had only just turned 16 and it was my first birthday in a new country. My bad rep had come from the high school football captain called me a limey girl cause i liked soccer. i was already pissed and mega stressed and i just flew off the handle straight away. Continue reading →

The time for pretending is ending
The time to pretend is now at its end
The time for pretending is ending
The time to pretend is at its end

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I had a lover
She was my life
She left me like a loser
Now I kill myself with a knife

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“Your such a fucking jerk,”I said loudly. I can’t believe he actually thought I was gonna give it up after only 2 weeks of knowing him. We were sitting on the couch in his bedroom. “Oh come on, don’t take it that way…look I am sorry. I just really like you alot, your so sexy. I mean can you blame me. I am just so tired of kissing you and getting all hard, then I gotta stop.” I have to admitt he made me feel a bit guilty. Continue reading →

The mind games you play are the mind games I invent for my own pleasurable pain. Created out of fear of losing you when knowingly, there’s nothing to lose. Blissful as your tasted conquered me whole; slave of your body, your eyes, your lips, your lust…of you. What am I if not a puppet of my own deceit, my own desires. The lack of words from you just bury me ten feet underground and finally I get to meet whatever destiny I had created for myself. Continue reading →

So I love this site. Many like-minded people converging to discuss everything. We all have a voice, but not one of us has a Face. The annonimity is awsome. Notyou can viley deface any post he comes across and broken dreams can give solice to anyone. But I am sure you all show the world how it is you want to live. how you see life. So what makes you goth? How does the world set you apart? Let us all know, Im sure it will be an interesting topic.

The blood begins to flow
First it’s fast, then begins to slow
The shiny razor blade
Brings scars that shall not fade
The blood starts to drip
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I smoke because it’s life
I smoke because it’s death
And I smoke because sometimes it’s the only thing that modivates me to breathe
And I breathe it in
And I breathe it out
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I sit here trying to understand this unearth wanting that seems to prevail oh so indefinitely in my mind. Desire with such richness to it that it makes me want to proclaim all the things I never truly believed in. And if consciousness is subtle then I suppose my subconscious is slowly digging its way out of my system. No salvation for I got myself trapped in a cage with hollow bars and for some bloody reason options are ever too clear. Continue reading →

Delicate fingers hold a cigarette
As pale as her skin
And the smoke is drawn in
Lips tinted blood red
The girl taps the small cylinder
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Depression-
leads to suicide
makes you think
you have to hide

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I want to die. I want to kill myelf. I want to see what’s on the other side. I am numb with pain. I wonder if anyone would even notice if i left this world. Would i have left a mark? Would i have made a difference. I don’t know why i continue to live. I am just another brick in the wall, another face in the crowd, another who is suffering.

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As the new light displaces the shadow,
All that I had hidden from, is reborn,
More blunt has it now become,
The faster it is for me to outrun.

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Scene 1

I watch the sun set on another day, it’s bright, yet i am so dark. I can now face the world for the following 12 hours. Tonight was so beautiful, peaceful in a way that is undiscribable to man. The battle of the human race in todays society was hurendous, hard, tough - i was glad i was not a part of it. I had enternal life - the ability to live forever. Continue reading →

He swallowed a moan as this captivating, swaying girl traced the throbbing veins in his cock with the tip of her tongue. Head thrown back, he runs his hands through her pale green hair, as her tail swishes ticklingly along his sides and her nipples hardened slowly against the rough ground below her. The girl’s tongue slowly pressed against the base of his cock, circling, moving lower to that strech of skin between his cock and his balls. Continue reading →

People say life is happy
and so full of glee
but why do they say it?
It’s not like that for me

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I think I have entered a strange world of retarded sounds and explicid images. Never have I seen such a waste of musical talent. Devo was a damn good drummer in my opinion but he had problems with adjusting to certain people. In his school days he was the type of kid you thought had been dropped on his head when he was little. The fool would act like a faggot monkey and spit chocolate moon pie at you. Continue reading →

To The destiny Of My heart,

I close my eyes to see,

The darkness in my soul,

To see were I should go,

To lead me to the path of eternal Happiness….

This is kindof about a dream I had one night……Please read it and tell me what you think!!!!!It seems long but it really isn’t!

You killed another
because you chose to drink and drive
and the other just happened to be
your little brother

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i think
i see
everything but reality
this is all a dream
or is that just the way it seems
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scarred to bled
thats what i saw
this has all been done before
feel the pain of ur bleeding vein
pray this fear will go away someday
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I know for a fact that im not the only person that feels as if they want to give up and that life is just a drag. But im so sick if being depressed all the time, everything keeps going wrong and the smallest things seem to annoy me and the worst thing is, I take it out on other people including my family and friends. I feel as if im falling apart, my body feels tired and weak and I dont want to do anything any more. Continue reading →

In the temple of the tortured light turns to dark, life turns to death. You can feel death watching you through hollow eye. There are corpses lying on the ground everywhere, but they are the lucky ones, for their pain is over but for others there pain has just begun. All you can hear is the silent screams all around you. They seek death, but will not find it, they want to die, but death will flee from them. Continue reading →

There were other things that went on unoticed in the time that I was there, letting my life slowly drift by without realizing that I wasn’t progressing. There was always a holding back, a no you can’t do that, not said in works but done through actions in convoluted ways. When was there ever a time, from the start that this didn’t happen?

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