I sometimes feel as if I have no true identity
That I really don’t know who is me
But I know that Im confused, sad, angry and scared
And I know for all that I hate, that I still do care
The reality of each situation is bleak
But still I go on
The will to continue to live is often weak
But still I continue on
The world has kept trying to make me die
But it hasn’t won yet, I just keep on to try
The world likes to make the living turn grey and the good things in life go away
As much as the world wants me to die I continue to stay
I’ve been alive a very little bit of time
But I already feel like I’ve lived a thousand lives
Different days from my past continue to last
I remember so many different people I’ve met
Some good days past, and some past days I regret
Many anger filled days, many pain filled days
So many faces I’ve seen, so many places I’ve been
Yet so few faces mattered, so few places I felt welcome
You are you but once, then you are gone
Its hard to fight through all this pain, but still I just go on
I could turn to drugs
They could make reality go away
But reality would come back, to haunt me another day
So I may be tempted to, but drugs I refuse to do
I would rather just die, than deal with things with a temporary high
Its just a high that comes straight down
Now your back right where you started
Your back facing everything that with drugs you temporarily parted
I see so many dealing with life this way
Watch as the drug turns them into someone else and takes what’s left of their life away
Watch as they decline, watch them pretend everything is fine
Watch them take just one last hit, or snort just one last line
Their pain leads them this way
My pain leads me this way
But I turn away
I choose to face reality
I choose to face all my pain
And its hard to
And it hurts to
And it says just get high
And it says just kill yourself, just die
And it all seems so painful
And it all seems so pointless
And Im confused and Im scared, and its hard to admit this
I don’t know if I’ll make it much longer
I don’t know if I’ll last much longer
I know I will cry many more tears
I’ve cried so many in the past
No more looking for the happy ending
Things don’t work that way
There will always be another struggle just ahead
Another battle for another day
But I refuse to just give in
I refuse not to put up a fight
I spit on humanity’s face
I’ll just watch them all lost in their foolishness
Reality knows I see it, and knows I see its disgrace
And it can look right back at me, it can stare at me all it wants
But I will just look right back at it, and it I will confront
I am one life
One life out of countless others
Countless others before me
Countless others after me
Countless others alive with me
I am one life
Everyone’s memories
All my memories
I see everyone’s pain
All my pain
So much has happened over time
So many different sides to things
I see everyone’s pain
All my pain
With the sun, so comes the moon and the rain
With the light, comes the darkness
With the love, so comes the hate
With the smiles, so comes the pain
All connected, all intertwined
All struggling whether to be a killer or be kind
I don’t know if I’ll make it much longer
I don’t know if I’ll last much longer
Sometimes I think Im getting stronger
But then I fall back down and feel very weak
Its hard to look at reality, with each situation being so bleak
I’ve made it this far and I’ve battled hard
I refuse the drugs, to make reality go away
Just a temporary high, reality would come back to haunt me another day
No more wishing for a happy ending
There’s good and there’s much bad, and that’s how it will be
This is the world we live in, this is our reality
There will always be another struggle just ahead
Another battle for another day
But I refuse to just give in
I refuse not to put up a fight
The reality of each situation is bleak
But still I go on
The will to continue to live is often weak
But still I continue on
You are you but once, then you are gone
Its hard to fight through all this pain in life, but for now I go on
Adam Keith