Darkness and agony creeping back to torment my life once more.
First, the sadness overcomes every emotion that I am capable of feeling. Second, the anger overcomes my depressional demise. Third, deep, dark, and demented thoughts unintentionally fill my mind to full capacity. Fourth, the emotional pain is so agonizing and discomforting that it literally feels as if the tension is tearing my vital organs to shreds.
Massive hemorrhaging throughout my biological structure, but not really there. This means that you survive every second of the excruciating pain. When you feel emotional pain is harming you physically, then my life has been taken over by what you believe to be “Evil” or “SaTaN.” But, it is none other than you. Satan is not real. Evil comes from within ones self.
Fifth, my mind wanders into thoughts converted into urges that the norm finds unacceptable, or better yet, inhumane. And when that happens, they see me as a life threatening danger to society and falsely diagnose me with a very powerful “mental illness.” If the cycle continues until completion, they will throw me in an anti-self endangerment room (insane asylum.) It WILL happen some day, I know this for a fact.
I just hope it don’t come sooner than anticipated.
!~AtReD~!
16 comments ↓
You don’t seem all that insane to me… just upset. Everyone gets upset sometimes.
yes, but “doctors” never see it that way.
doctors do all they know to do. what do you do with a crazy person? so you just kill them, or drug them up. it’s too ethnically incorrect to just kill people. fuck man, i don’t knwo what to you specifically. seek help. it may not be worse than you think. most drugs are fun.
okee day, to a real solution. depression is a dark cold existence, but most people live through it everyday.
there are probably more than half of the nation in depression. it’s just that most people realize they are depressed, and not insane. insane people don’t warn others before they do something crazy. i think this is just you litttle way of pathetically crying out for help without haveing to do it for real.
ok, i’m bored. give up and die.(kidding)
Mors,
I don’t cry for help, i just tried to explain what i was going through when i lived with my sister!!! I don’t need help, i am not crazy, i am the only one in my family that isn’t. So, i wrote this because i wanted my sister to know what i feel, but still worded the way that it is, is still an incoherant explanation of how i felt and what i was going through. So, my suggestion to you is to go end you pathetic being of life!!! HeH!!! I put that there so someone could confide in what i have to say, so, Fuck you and your mental health bull shit!!! And i have gone to doctors my whole life, i used to be on anti-psychotics and it didn’t help, it made me worse, therefore, i am not crazy and i do not need help fore i do not cry for help.
!~AtReD~!
oh my mistake. i must have missed that whole thing about your sister, and made up that part about being locked up. you wrote it pal. if you can’t handle the criticism, i suggest you keep your ideas to yourself.
It WILL happen some day, I know this for a fact.
heheh, caught you, dick.
call it what you will. only someone who is as you are would be stupid enough to contradict that which they have already stated.
now, my pathetic being of life……well, i won’t deny it. but you’re missing the point by turning the situation onto someone who only offered their opinion. and hey, you posted yours, so you asked for it.
Very nice descriptiveness.
You need to watch your perspective tho, you switched from 1st person to third and back again.
Well interesting view on you Atred, might have been good stating who you were talking to, “whom it may concern” is so impersonal. Yeah, we all have our times, people we live with and have to live through for a while, or at least try to live through what they’re going through which in turn is effecting us at the same time.
So what did you learn out of it all? Elaborate?
‘to whom it may concern’ sounds like a good title to me. that might just be because it does concern me: you pretty much described how i am
I may be insane but it keeps me from going crazy .
and
I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Sorry that you think that i went from talking about me to third person and shit like that, but that is how i talk so that is how i write. actually i had written what i said to someone and yeah, nevermind…
and Mors, i don’t mind the criticism, i mind that you tried disrespecting me by it, and i do NOT stand for disrespect, understand, good! if not, then get a fucking life, because this one is not working for you!
I live in a world of random life, only to stay in my place, in my corner. I am always avoiding a chance for happiness, for I am always urging to truely pride myself and my ways. I am lazy though without a will or care for this world or this life. I now know the limits of my sadness, they are never ending always begining and forming, never leaving my side, but as for any other emotion. To me thinking is just another muscle in my body, emotion is our true power.Emotion is something no one or nothing can take away form you, and thats where true pride is.
emotion is the only thing that can really hurt you … and guys stop fighting … it aint helping no one … to whom it may concern seems to be what most peoples lives are … unexplainable and somewhat boring … so stop arguing when were only here to express ourselves.
I have to agree with Sorcha, Darkness.com is just a place to express our selves and have contact with people people who share the smae thoughts as ourselves, It isnt a place to diss people and judge them, we have to put up with that enough in our day-to-day lives, I like to think of darkness.com as a place I can go and get support.
..help..? I do cry for help, but doesn’t anyone who is in need, or pain. Mentaly I’m alone, so no one really could understand, not even a doctor. My stress comes from the strong emotion from within, I learn to deal with it though, I mean it is my own emotion, I don’t don’t need a pill or someone to tell me I’m alright. All I need is something good in my life to distract me from whats negative.
And it’s up to you to get that something good in your life to distract you…
Darkness is my way of coping… I come here and communicate with people that I feel can understand me (some of you), without having to worry about then telling anyone, or pulling the bitchy shit, or any emotive bullshit. It’s outsider advice, and it’s fantastic.
It might just be me, but today I feel a sense of relief from the world, its odd because, I use to feel bad because I was alone but now I feel that maybe its a good thing. x.x;