You start 2forget ur needs b/c ur so jacked up on speed while ur on ur knees w/ this needle in ur arm screaming “I killed Tweedle D.”
The world turns plan, its like a black n white movie, every things the same. While you snorting up ur ounce of cokecain, u cant help but think 2ur self wow dis shit is lame. I need more in my life. So u grab a knfie & start stabing every1 twice. But while ur slicein n dicein everyone.. the cops come, then ur a fugitive on da run, your live on ch 1. America’s Most wanted!! #1!! Gee i guess every1 was right i’m a homcidal maniac lose in the night. Your on the bridge with lights in ur eyes & this guy saying ” say no to suiside!!” Suiside?!!?! why would i want to die? I won 1st prize in the spelling bee when i was five.. oh wait that wasnt me, that was sum bitch i cut up on main street.. HEHEHE.. wow theres alotta people here, i didnt perpair a speech.. Uh.. Hi mom thanx for not loveing me!, Hi dad.. wait we’re not sure who that is yet, he was just there for the quick screw then fled. To all my friends, like i said Ima b on tv before im dead. Well im not much of a speaker thanx 2my english teacher, I slit her throat haha u should of saw it, it was pretty gross! I’d like 2say to all the lil boys n gurls FUCK SCHOOL!! go b a prostitute & a pedafile like my mother & one of my many fathers. Well thats all for nowers! Oh jenna I was the one who sent u flowers, I loved you! Alexis hey i’ve been crazy bout u for years, just didnt have the guys 2tell u, but hey look at me up here im faceing my fears. Alright every1 hold my calls b/c i doubt i’ll b back after this fall.. wow dats a long ways down, I wonder if i can hear the sound of my self screaming… well alright tinker bell give me some magic dust.. wanna know my happy thought? Ok if u must..that they’ll all forgive me, Yea, thats all i want for christmas. But sorry snata i’ve been bad. Ok peter Pan off 2never never land, after this leap i know i’ll wish i never had.. *leaps*
You wake up in a cold sweat! Your safe in ur bed, silly girl it was all in ur head! But no matter what , at night u can still hear the screams b/c this is all just a bad dream!!!!!

Deep brown eyes, nice thick thighs. Eyers brighter then any star in the sky. A personality you spend ur whole life lookin for. Smooth tan skin, the sexiest hispainc there’s ever been. W/ one look it’ll make u want to change ur life, just one glance of those misterious brown eyes. You know shes what makes the sun rise n the moon set so high in the night sky. She makes you forget who you use to be, makes it out to be a blur, as from an entirety. You live ur life for her, just the mer sight of her. She cures any pain you’ve ever endured. This hispainc beauty whos voice if heard will save you from da deep cruel world… my hispanic girl

Its one of those days where u just wanna say goodbye. Slit your wrist & die leaveing a note sayin im sorry i tired… I really didm ever since i was a kid i’ve kept my feelings inside, u’ve never seen me fully cry. You dont know what its like to be alone. its like ur just sittin there, while every ones gone. What did i do that was so worng. My body tingles, my hands shake… is this really my fate? to invison lying on the floor w/ my blood all around me. My soul frozen to da core. I have scars from the past but like everything else in my life they never last. my scars tell a story to frightful 2tell, so i lock it away in my own cold world. They story is true of the day i wanted my life to b threw. I just dont have the heart 2push down n pursue wha i kno will happen soon…….

Down in a dark room of an empty house I sit holding a blade to my wrist with a shine of light from the streetlamps..I’m waiting for the right time…all I can hear now is the steady Drip…Drip…Drip.
Maybe its from my tears that I’ve cryed from confusion about my life…or..Maybe its from my wrists that I’ve cut so many times before. Now they won’t find me .. now i can finally die. Finally end the hell that I’ve put up with for so many years .. I’ve pulled in so many that has suffered from my life and pain. Now I can and I am goin to end it all.
Its geting darker now.. I can;t see anything.. I’ll jus lay down here til i can.The floor is so cold or no its jus me. Now i can barly breath. Is it really happaning now??? I’ve finally done it ..Drip…Drip…Cling…Drip

theres this girl i once knew named shanda and that girl was very troubled in her head. so i took on the responceablity to help this girl to get better.to my knowledge she wasn’t troubled as i thought she was.

Darkness
Your eyes conform to its surroundings
searching for some similarity stored in memory
A wave of indifference fills your soul
You wake up wondering why you’re still breathing
All you’ve worked for…gone
All you’ve loved…died
Yet you’re still here…some how
Unaware of your fate, you reclaim your place on which you lay,
feeling and odd sense of peace radiate from within.
You close you eyes breathing softly as you
fall back into the pool of subconciousness….

As you rest on these raven colored sheets,
rose petals rain on you like tears
Your surrounding is that of a shrine with
thousands of lit candles radiating from where you lay.
You inhale deeply as the air fills your lungs
then…………………………….Silence
Not a sound can be heard, not of you
breathing nor the flicker of any candle.
Just a heavy dark silence as if everything froze.
Out of nowhere a flame appears in the air
and grows furiously till it reaches the form of your likeness.
It walks towards you and touches you lovingly.
Then sits next to where you lay and you both merge together
As I look upon you I seeing his power flow
through every crevice of your body.
In a flash of light this spirit creature
leaves your body yet there is another…yours.
You both embrace then……….you burst into nothing
Leaving the cold yet beautiful body resting on its throne

Falling
I’m falling
Falling, deeper into my grave

Why is it this way?
Have I done something wrong or is it just my fate?
Falling
I’m falling further away
Help me, bring me closer

Sometimes I feel it was a mistake.
You treat me so indifferent as if it was truly my fault.
I tried to open up but you kept shutting me down.
And now I’ve drifted further away
Falling deep into my grave.

I lay in a tub shivering as my body
loses against this intruder.
Guilt and depression, my common
enemies, has now infested my body.
My eyes once alert are taken by darkness
as I slip into unconsciousness.
What have I done to feel so wrong?
Who has caused me to slit my wrists?
The blood that once flowed though my
body now fills the tub, bathing every inch of my body.
As everyone continues to live his or her
pathetic lives, why is mine filled with harshness?
Shouldn’t life be happy?
Shouldn’t we wake up every morning in blithe spirits?

All my life I see countless souls build, sweat, bitch,
and suffer to ‘achieve’ a little bit of ‘greatness’ in their
lives that will be worth nothing when they die.
Are they that blind to the course nature has made for them?
They’re maybe smarter then I think.
I guess it’s smarter to not think about or see life they way I do.
It should be looked upon through a foggy window.
So all the obscure things in life are less noticeable…

By adding makeup on something hideous, you end
up with something beautiful right?
Then why am I here dieing by my own hand, feeling
more guilty and sad then I ever felt in my life?
I’ll never know now, it’s to late.
I’m dieing and not you, anyone, or me can change it.
Life’s a bitch right?
But instead of me fucking in, it has me fucked.

As we gaze deeply into each others eyes,
I see your gratitude for this moment
The only thing that keeps us from bonding
Is the thin satin sheet covering my body
Leaning closer I can hear your body exhale
As our lips lightly touch
You take my hands in yours,
Intertwining our fingers

As our hands make love
The shield between us fades into nothing
As our skin touch, it sends waves of
Pure electrifying emotion through us
In a passionate kiss our energies sour
Reaching heights that were thought impossible

To and fro we climb the path
Waves crash and tides turn as we hold on to each other . . .
Sparks fly as we support each other on that powerful peak

. . . Your fingertips lightly caress my sensitive parts
Causing me to gasp in ecstasy . .
In each other’s arms we return to
the never-ending cycle of sacred affection

standing,
staring,
crying,
lying,
dieing,
hoping,
hating,
slaying,
rapeing,
scraping,
shaping,

I am here,
Suck inside my head.
My thoughts spin round and round,
with no hope of coming out.
You never saw me,
never wanted to.
I am fucked up,
because of you.

You made me what I am!
you gave me this hate,
this pain,
this anger!
You made me what I am!
You took my love,
my happieness,
my innocence!
You made me what I am!
Thie evil, hatefull,
Dark, Disturbed,
No good, waist of flesh!

My first was not what usualy happens to a girl untill she is grown. I was 16 and full of life. My best friend(whose name we wont mention) had a show to do at the county fair. I thought that it would be nice to surpris him near closing time.

So hear it was 12:30 am and i show up to say hi. I found him in an empty barn that not very many people use during the fair. He was just finishing his last chore. We had joked about having sex before, so I walked up behind him and pressed my breasts against his back. he stood and leaned back to flaten them to him. I slid my hand around his front and down untill it was splayed over his stomach.

He groaned and took my hand to guid me down to his erection. To my untrained virgin mind he was huge. I could feel him pulsing in my hand, so i squeezed him. I dont remember how it happened but the next thing I know he has my back against the side of a stall and my legs wraped around his hips.

He pressed his croch into mine and i cried out from the feeling it caused. Now i was wearing a skirt so the contact was blocked by only my panites and his jeans. He ran a finger over my damp panties and chuckled. he tore them down the center and ripped them off of me.

I arched into his hand as I felt the pressure of my on coming climax increase. I tore at his jeans. undoing the button fly with trembling fingers. He drove into me with one smooth stroke, The pain of virginity barely noticed.

He filled me so perfectly. As we moved together, there in an old stuffy barn, against wooden stall railing, I got my first taste of passion. My first real man. I will never forget the look on his face, one of complete awe, just as he came. His climatic pulsing triggered mine. The first rush of heat from his core sent me into oblivion.

We have fucked a few times over the years. But I will always remember that hot August night. And the smell of hay always seems to get me wet.

I could see it beating. That pulse at the base of his neck. The veins thick and strong. The beat of his heart fast and rythmic.

I could not take my eyes away. It hypnotized me. He is living. I envy That pulse. It represents every thing that was taken from me.

Its stronger now. He is nervous. He has noticed my staring. I can still see it beating. Strong and sure. Maybe i should feed on him. But that pulse…….