Entries from January 2004 ↓

Open wounds,
scarified.
the consuming darkness,
black painted eyes.
wanders around,
doesn’t belong.

open wounds
bleeding forever
a pretty face
a tortured soul
crying eyes never cease
tears of blood stream down a pale face.

open wounds
a stolen breath
a serated dagger
falls to the floor
streaming from within
a crimson river.

roses are red
violets are blue
blood pours from my ears
and darkness fills me too

this image
cause me to cut open my life
to bleed one more
to taste the pain
i tasye the death
i look in the mirror once more
this fucking whore
staring straight at me
listening to everyword i say
this screaming wont go away
i hate this
i hate myself
it must be cliche` of me
but cliche` is cliche`
and this darkness is nothing
you caught me hanging in the bathroom
hanging from a chain
bleeding everywhere
i dont remeber
becuase i still hate myself
i hate life

He was like in my craziest dreams, everything ! From his qualities, to the sound of his voice, to his name until the sweetness of his body… everything corresponded to what i ‘ve ever dreamed.
I was completely devoted to him, I really loved him, with my soul, amy body and all the love a girl can have at 18 years old… everything was perfect ! each kiss was like an electric shock, every time he looked at me my heart became inflamed….

But as in every love story, he left me….
And I was lost… lost in a trouble fog of pain… I wandered as undead without anything in mind but his image, his face, his smile, his glance on me…
My only loyal friends were Loneliness, Emptiness, and darkness of feelings. But these friends helped me to live, to survive without him.

Somedays i woke up and i couldn’t feel anything, neither pain nor sadness, some others morning, it was like he was here…
-‘My love… wake up, he said in whispers, it’s time to go’…
The sound of his deep voice as caress in my ear, the smell of his parfum, the softness of his skin, the taste of his lips on mine… he is back ! And i woke up suddendly my face swamped with tears…

Am i becoming crazy !
Why my head does this to me ! My body is so painful… I cannot breathe, just cry… cry all the tears i can have and this grief ! Deep rooted in my stomach….
-It’s not fair to suffer like that ! why me ! what is my crime ! my voice is broken by tears… i try to shout again again the roof as if someone could hear me, could see me and feel some pity and bring him back to me… but i’m alone… who cares to a girl who has just a broken heart ?
Sensations of emptiness, Anger, a deep pain coming from my stomach and preventing me from speaking, breathing, thinking… my body, my soul and my thinkings are just shreded by this deep will of die. I want to diseappear. Life is unfair

After a hard day of lectures, with people totally stupids who don’t know how to speak, just complain.
I’m back in my little student home… In my dark and depressive silence but so comforting…
Open the door, light some candle, take a bath and cry again….
-‘i wish you were here… i’m so alone…. why do you left me… why everybody try to separate us… why they succeed ! …. I want to die…I don’t want to live without You, but i can’t do it ! i’m too stupid, too childish, too scared…. that’s why you go away… WHERE ARE YOU ! I’M DIFERENT NOW ! come back, please… just. come back and tell me if you hate me for what i’ve done…’

A bath for nothing , like everyday!
Still sad and depressive… Still this pain inside of me. Why am i obliged to have feelings, sensations… I just want to be alone, with an emptied, blanked head…
I go in my room, and lie on my bed… i’m so tired… maybe i could die tonight ?
I fall asleep, still wet on my bed, naked… yes i will be ill and die….

I suddendly began to laugh, insane and sarcastic laugh…
I can’t stop laughing ! i aml naked on my bed still wet and my body is shaken by my madness and my roar of laughter….

Nobody knows what it’s like to live without a soul
To be floating in cold water barely high enough to breathe
With a brain half full and emotions half empty
Where every thought is forced and no longer free
When every day you live is a blessing
Not because of the chance of death but the choice
It’s just like you’re falling forever, you never stop
The feeling of weightlessness tied to wretched fear
Every second of every day is a reminder of who you aren’t
Feeling like you’re totally naked walking around in public,
vulnerable
Every glance in your direction makes you want to run and hide
But then you remember your camoflouge
your body
If you just smile when you’re supposed to, nobody will notice
When all you want to do is sleep because then you can pretend you don’t live in a nightmare
You almost feel alive again
But then you always wake up to your reminder of who you aren’t
Wondering, within the laws of nature if the major flame can sense your extinguished candle and cause an accident to occur
Or if you’re left alone in your zombie body to eventually go insane where you’ll drool on your shirt for the rest of your life in some hospital
Or you finally never adjust to your situation and take your own life
You feel it so strongly throughout your whole entire body that you’re constantly amazed that people don’t run screaming from fear of your soulless body
And with all of this on your back, you still can’t cry
The only crying you can do is for your family, and this is even half-way forced
You remember who you used to be and hope that others will too because that’s all that’s left……is a memory.

As I walk into the darkness of the alley between two large apartment buildings, near the house I was disowned from and sent to live on the streets, I stare at the sky watching for the creature to come. I have only seen this creature three times before, but tonight I have a wierd feeling that I would be seeing it more often.
The first time I saw this creature I thought it was a normal person living on the streets like me, but the next time it came it was up in the darkness by one of the large statues near the roof of the apartments. i was sitting near the dumpster in the back when it dropped next to me, it was a human head ripped right off of the body soaked in oozing blood pouring from its eye sockets which the eyes had been gouged out of. Next the body fell and splattered blood all over me. As I looked up to see what had dropped it a creature leaped across to the other apartments and shattered part of the wall as it climbed to the top and over the edge of the jagged roof tiles. In the motion sencored light i could see claws from the creature. I ran to the streets to see if i could see it, when I looked up I saw the claws retract into his fingers and a man with long black hair with red stains that dripped blood to the floor as he peered down to the streets from above watching for another victim.
That night I was afraid to sleep in the alley so I stayed up untill i found a new place to stay where the creature could not get me, I stayed in the celler of a house it was hard to see but it would have to do for the night.
The next day when I woke up I went back to the alley where the body dropped it was gone but there was a stream of blood running across the ground and up the wall with holes where the creature had climbed back up to the roof while i was gone.
Tonight I have a feeling that I will encounter this creature again. Its been an hour and no sign of it yet, but wait what is that I see up in the corner of the roof… …oh no could it be the creature?? am I next to die?? it just keeps staring with a frozen gaze into my eyes I start to scream but the words wont come out of my mouth Im frozen staring into his red eyes they send a lustfull desire into my body followed by cold chills running down my spine.
Its coming down from its hiding spot, Im still frozen from its gaze i try to move my legs but they are numb from the chills that were being sent through my back and down my legs. The creature speaks softly and asks “do you believe in eternal life and creatures of the night who stalk humans as their prey to survive??”
i dont hesitate to answer my answer was “yes” he stares into my eyes and it feels like he is looking into my mind trying to find information about my past and he asks “would you like to have all your desires given to you in one simple moment??” I stare at him for a moment and think about what would happen to me, if I say yes all my dreams could come true and I will live forever or if I say no I will die, When I start to answer “ye”…he interupted “good then come with me to the roof and I shall give you everything you desire”.
I follow closely behind him , when we finally get to the top he grabs me by the arm and pulls my neck to his mouth and bites into me, iI get a soothing feeling of relief when the blood starts drainin from me, he puts out one of his claws and slits open his wrist saying “drink and become one of us a creature of darkness!!” I drink from his wrist and a feeling of me becoming a new person overcomes my numbness and I start to get a lust for blood and flesh.
The next night I kept getting a craving for blood as I saw each person a new victim walk by my shadow in the alley when I spot a speacial person my mother who had disowned me and sent me to an alley on the streets, I call to her with my mind and she hears it with her attention drawn to the alley she walks over and no one is in sight, she goes further into the alley where no one from the streets can see when I drop down and grab her throat squeezing the air out of her body I take her neck and bite into it.
With a rush of sensations dwelling through my body I feel strength rising in me as she struggles to get away from my grasp and call for help but it is too late she is dead with a simple twist and a loud popping noise from her neck she lays silently and cold on the ground in a puddle of bloodat my feet. I feel a wierd burning sensation in my back as my bones start to morph, my first stage of being a vampire is completing itself and I am getting my first dark gift the sensation burning more and more the talons start to rip out of my back and long bones with a film of silky texture spreading out around my body, I have wings,…

*TO BE CONTINUED*

i feel alone
and i hate it
i dont belong
but in the end
all is black
and there is no looking back
all i see
all i know
nothing here the more to show
nothing new
nothing fine
i feel im dieing all the time
for whom i loved
for whom i cared
all is gone
all is done
whats left is dead
and shall so remain
’til dust becomes dust
once again

Everything you told me..
You knew it was untrue
So why should this matter?
Why should I trust you…?
You lied looking me straight in the eyes
Seeing what you do..is a lot to realize
I only want you to feel my pain
For you to laugh, cry..scream and strain

Wish I could worry you
You would see how I feel
Wish you could hate and cry…
let me know what’s real
When I look in your eyes..all blurriness goes straight
but feeling rejected…
I choose to hesitate

Forever doesn’t exist…
nothing is ever real
It’s only a fragment of time
And time doesn’t heal…

If I could only hurt you..
The way your hurting me
Make you cry & make you scream..!
Make you feel the misery!!!!
I want to see it all………..
and watch you dissappear
Then away I’d walk without a tear.
You played with my heart and broke it
yeah liked that matters to you!!
Guess you didnt keep those promises..
Just as YOU ALWAYS SAID YOU’D DO…

Blindfolded
Cuffs locked
Light turned off
Candles lite Continue reading →

The struggle I’d put up had been nothing compared to the strength of the males that had brought me in. Mirrors covered the ceiling and walls, giving me a perfect view of my prostrated form from every angle. I was no match for the demonic shackles that bound me to the bed. Under me lay silver blankets; there was no escape from the smooth lines of my naked mocha body.
I knew what was going to happen, yet I had never dreamed it possible. Me, Ange de la Mort, the terror of both mortal and immortal alike.
Death, it was nothing. But this? Rape. The very word chilled me to the bone. I could face any torture with defiance written permanently across my face, but rape was not just pain, not just an end, it was a violation of the worst sort.
My hands shook. I disgusted myself, such a gesture of cowardice. The waiting. The dire knowledge of the next play, the silence before the storm.
The door swung open, Jared walked in, body covered in a plain cotton robe. The smug grin that transformed his features when he looked upon my nude form made me feel dirty already. Sweet, hot anger sliced through the fear, making me feel strong even in such a prone position. Seeing my defiance did not anger him as I’d hoped, it only made him widen that self-satisfied smile. His eyes darkened with lust and the thrill of the hunt.
He removed his robe, displaying him ready before me. I looked away disgustedly. I glared, “I have no desire to look upon your pathetic manhood,” I spat the words out at him like a curse. Jared only laughed and came closer, “You won’t have to look at it much longer my whore, but you will however have to feel it.” Oh, how witty. He moved to the bed. My legs were coiled as tight as I could make them, my muscles locked and turned to stone. His strong grip took hold of my ankles, untwisting them first. He began pulling my legs apart. I fought so hard I felt muscle rip and tendons snap. In the end he won, his muscular thighs keeping my legs parted. He laid himself across me, his body like a slab of granite, completely unyielding despite my best efforts. I thrashed with all I had. He only smiled a vulturine grin in challenge, “that’s it baby, fight me,” he growled as he pushed his groin harder against me. He lifted his upper body off me. “Too bad the people you killed didn’t have a chance to fight. Do you think they would have fought as hard as you are for their lives? I bet they would have. You violated the sanctity of their lives, just as I am about to violate the sanctity of your body. You violated my father, now I’m going to violate you. Ain’t karma a bitch?” His hands fondled my bosoms. I screamed in pain when he brutally impaled me. I fought back tears, trying to block out what was happening, but everywhere I looked it was there. Every wall, even the ceiling reflected the image of him violating me. “No,” I kept repeating to myself as if the chant would make him stop. His hand covered my mouth, cutting off my cries.
I couldn’t close my eyes, I could only stare at the image above me. A poor girl being raped by some brute, the girl looked back at me hoping for salvation. It was a nightmare I couldn’t escape. I concentrated on the eyes of the girl, the blackness of the pupil.
Darkness.
This was me, that was what I was, I was the darkness. I was the shadows, the night, the Angel of Death. And with that I became the shadows, I let them envelop and embrace me in their loving arms. So soon I gazed at a man atop a black hole that seemed to suck the light from the room.
Jared looked down at me, eyes full of rage. His hands moved from my mouth, groping the darkness that was me in search of my vulnerable neck. With my mouth free I opened it wide and out came shadows. They filled the room and seemed to seep through the walls, searching for something. The room was in absolute darkness, a cloak so black only my eyes could pierce.
I looked back up at where the poor violated girl had once been to see Victor, eyes burning with golden fire, pale skin glowing like the moon. His was the image of a beautiful, yet frightening god. “Help me,” I spoke in quick dark tongue.
“I cannot, I myself am in a bind.” He glared down at Jared, “but not as dire as yours. I lend you my power for this.”
Those burning gold eyes came away from him and to me. They were soon upon me, and for a moment all I could see was gold. I felt power bore through me and sink deep into the blackness of my soul. I felt nothing but hatred course through my veins, an unimaginable cruelty sink in. I didn’t just want to kill Jared, I wanted to torture him, I wanted to hear him scream and wallow in his cries. Ideas came into my mind that would make a Heaven of Hell. Was this how Victor thought? Was this frightening power his? I had no idea how much I had underestimated him.
Jared looked down into my eyes and jumped off me and away. I could hear his heart beating like a caged thing. All the darkness in the room I brought into me, leaving the room bright. I looked at the walls and discovered what caused him such shameful terror, my eyes were Victor’s slit pupil eyes that blazed gold, my skin was utter darkness, glowing black with hate. I pulled the chains and they fell away like paper. Jared screamed to the outside. The desperation of his cry made my cruelty twisted mind smile, baring my fangs glistening white at full length. More vampires filled the room, gasping at the sight before them.
I wanted to hurt them. Screams of agony came from all around. What had happened? I was baffles at the sight of the men all on their knees, bloody tears streaming from their eyes, faces contorted in unspeakable pain. It took a moment for me to realize that I had done it. Victor had done the same with pleasure once to me, now I was doing it with pain. The Prince of Pain and Pleasure. Now I understood. That was what they had meant when they said, “you can’t defeat Victor, you can only contain him.” I focused all my energy on their pain, so much so that I didn’t notice when others who hadn’t been effected came p behind my and attached shackles to my wrists. I was pulled back onto the bed. I tried making them hurt but it didn’t work, I couldn’t break the shackles either. They were silver with demon runes engraved into them. My captors wore outfits to match, with the runes in demon blood. They pried open my mouth and poured a bitter tasting potion down my throat. Pain shot through me, I felt as is I were being ripped in two. My scream filled the room in deafening volume. Then everything went black.
Awakening revealed an unpleasant surprise. I was naked still and once more shackled to the bed, but this time in Victor proof chains. A lot of pissed off men stood around me. Victor’s power had been vanquished from my body, but it was more than that, I was light headed. I’d been bled. That strange coldness in my veins crept up again. Things were not good.
I soon gauged that they were naked. The true magnitude of the situation finally hit me. It wasn’t just a singular act of rape any longer, they were going to turn this into a gangbang. I tried to bring my legs to me, tried locking them, and found that I could scarcely move them. I glared, bringing smug smiles all around.
Hours upon hours passed, that poor little girl was in the mirror again. I watched her cry as they raped her, her tears tinged with blood. I watched her self-loathing as her treacherous body responded to their violent coupling. Oh that poor little girl, violated by so many. What pain in her eyes. So many had taken her, I’d lost count. Whenever I though it was over more would come. Others would come back for more. Now Jared was taking me for the third time. The violation of four more girls was reflected on the walls. That made six of us. All one and the same.

Wondering if I’ll make it through the day
Hoping that I’ll see him when I get there
Praying that I shouldn’t blow it away
Crying out to whoever will listen, clawing at my hair
Obsessing, driving me over the edge
Leaping only at broken opportunities
I pray to God, please don’t let me do something I’ll regret
Running away from the hell hole that she ties
I pull at the bonds that tie me down
Unable to break through I bleed my sorrow
The blood pours out silent and smooth
It pools on the ground at my feet
By this a pray for release, it won’t come today
I stand there in my silence, waiting for the darkness to fall
I hold my breath, and turn my back,
Block the noise out, erase the voices
They still enter and spin in my whirlwinds
They’re breaking through now, I can’t ignore them
I fall to my knees and hide my face from their eyes
They don’t know me, theses strangers,
I shy away from their touch, but it’s inevitable
The hands that touch me burn my skin,
Their eyes penetrate my form and I hear them speak
“Its alright, I’m here for you. You’re not alone anymore”
I stop, and I sigh, I lift my face, and I wipe away the blood.
I know that voice, it has never failed to move me
I turn and I fall into their waiting embrace.
I couldn’t let go, this person is my only reason for life
How can they come just to leave me?
Then they fade, I’m grasping at nothing.
Kneeling on the floor, bleeding my life away
It was all a vision, a mirage, fakes.
I lie down on the cold tiles
No one it calling. I am completely alone
I let out my breath and breathe again
But I will myself to stop,
To release my soul from this world
Instead I scream.

Lives are cut short every minute of the day
The pain is coursing through my wicked veins
The world it spins in a myriad of light
I try to change my wrongs to rights

Curse the world in its pitiful form
Screw the blood we need freedom more
Embrace what knowledge we have of the world
Its continued mystery shall prove what we killed

The blood that has been spilled on this troubled ground
Shall find no escape, its doomed to pool around
Who knows the pain that we have blocked out
Self mutilaltion brings it bubbleing out

I don’t know much about this cruel world
All I know is that its got its sails furled
We’re going nowhere on this river of death
I just pray that soon I may catch my breath

We need to let ourselves go and set ourselves free
This world is not kind to the likes of you and me
Troubled are these times, where life is rejected
Its time to find out what death has really affected

The blood was everywhere. It flowed around her body. The darkness was infinite, and the blood was never ending. Its energy flowed, in tendrils, inviting her to play. She lifted her arm to reach out for the tendrils of blood, but she couldn’t move. Fear gripped her body, and she began to struggle against the force holding her. Fighting to free her, she pushed and pulled, but it was futile. She was falling, falling into the abyss, the darkness, to the end. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her body fought to stay alive. The darkness was almost final; soon there would be nothing. Her last strength was being consumed, her head was swimming, drunk with fear. In the final moment, she let out all her strength in one burst. There it was, her arms floating freely beside her. The bloody tendrils that had been holding her stretched between arm and body. Gasping for air she coughed, and choked on the profusion of blood she had consumed. Sitting now, she looked up for some means of escape, but she was surrounded by nothingness. Standing up, she gazed upwards; she saw a line of grey, and the bloody tendrils squirming through. They were moving to consume her again. Spreading her arms, the tendrils of blood between arm and body stretched out, and she screamed to the nothingness….
That’s when she woke up.

Black hearts floating on the wind
Come to rest at my feet
They shatter as they hit the earth
In a million pieces across the street
I raise my head to see their faces
Black hearts kiss me on the cheeks
There are no familiar places I know
Where my feet can reach
There is nowhere I can run to
No safe haven for me
I’m scared of what I’ve made myself
Nothing can bring me peace
I’ll escape this all one day
As a seed may grow to a tree
When finally my heart can rest
And the black hearts vanish around me.

as i stare at the knife adn make another cut my wound duz not bleed
my eyes dont tear
my body feels no pain
the only pain that i feel is the paint that my heart feels as the cold knife stabing another wound
my internal bleeding kills unnoticably
i am the only one that knos the pain
the pain that hurts so deeply
the pain that i dont want
the pain that kills me
the pain that makes me numb
i want to be left alone in my numbness

It was halloween.black tape for a blue girl was playing in the background.”sally” was getting ready to met “jack” at the concert. she put the finshing touches on her costume. she put on her black and white socks and shoes and ran out the house. she was going to be late if she didn’t hurry.
she got there just in time.jack was standing by the door. she when it and kissed him and bite his neck and the band came out played there set but they where to busy to notice. after the show sally told jack she loved him and wanting to give him something.
it started to rain a little sally said come on.they ran to her car. jack looked in the back and saw a black blanket, black roses,and a box of condoms. sally saw he looking and said “we’re going to a graveyard” .
jack shallowed hard he had never been with anyone and sally would be his first and he would be hers. he loved sally they had been going out for 6 months and had done everything but have sex. sally was so happy she was going to make love to her love in the perfect place.
she turned in to the parking lot and hoped out grabed the things she brought. jack got out slowly. sally all so got some things jack didn’t see.sally and jack walked hand in hand. sally leld the way to the grave she wanted. a crypt. she broke the door down and and her and jack entered. jack shallow again. sally set up the blanket and she had red, white, and black candles and lit them. she walked over to jack and laid he down. and took his shirt and pants off. and let him take her clothes off.they were both naked now and sally went down on jack to get him up so she put the condom on him.she got him up fast and jack started to relax and started to cum and sally put the condom on and got his penis in her and tears started to come and made a glaze over her eyes. jack said breathe and she obeyed. they took it slow and made in last. they fell asleep in each others arms.
sally and jack woke up put there clothes on. and sally pulled out a knife and slit jack’s wrist and drank his blood and cut herself and made him drank her blood. jack wanted her more and more and then he got the surprise of his life. sally took slit his throt and killed him and put killed her self.
this was her plan always to lose her virginty in a graveyard and kill her 1st lover and kill her. and this takes place on her fave holiday.HALLOWEEN

remember sex can wait masterbrate

i was on the floor.i remeber everything that happened.his eyes were so kind, so beautiful so i him in to use the the phone.he didn’t want the phone. once inside he grabed be the throt. and said be still. the tears running down my face.he ran his fingers up and down my body.i felt i was screaming but no sound came out.and then when he took the rope and tried to tie me up. but i broke away and ran. the shirt was ripped and my eyes were blurred and i couldn’t feel the cold. but i could taste it. i new i had to run or i would die. i tripped i couldn’t get up and that when i felt the knife go in to my skin and he said “shhh little girl this wouldn’t hurt” and i closed my eyes and faded into darkness. when i opened them again. i saw him standing over me and he said he was finshed he took what he need and kissed my head and “bye bye i’ll be back real soon”

pushed away by the one with bright eyes
taken away by the things i feel inside
inside me theres a place to dwell
but only the ones that feel the darkness in me, the ones i said to “farewell”

thinking about it now i see
that these thoughts and feelings inside of me
dont really fit in with the ones in mind
loneliness and tear filled eyes make the heart blind.

fear of me, fear of life
fear of the things i feel inside
fear of you, fear of this
fear of the things that i might miss
fear of eyes gazing inside
inside me the feeling resides

the feeling turns to dust but i’m still here
the dust becomes more than i can bare.

still cant breath. still cant question
the feeling inside becomes a confession.

There in the firey pits of hell
That is where the evil does dwell.

Thinking skrying, no one is dyeing
Buying more time
Before they come to earth
So that they may claim a new birth.

Evil breeding, poeple speeding
All is writen in this hell like place
I even see a picture of my face
It has a slight resemblence to this place

We are all under a spell
That just started in the firey pits of hell
How long will we stay under this spell
This no one can ever tell.

All this contains vishions of a nightmere
That is about to come true.

Two non-believers walkin lost in this world, took their baby with them, what a sad little girl. Her daddy drank all day and mommy did drugs. Never wanted to play, or give kisses and hugs. She’d watch the T.V. and sit there on the couch. While her mom fell asleep and her daddy went out. And the drinking and the fighting just got worse every night. Behind their couch she’d be hiding, oh what a sad little life. And like it always does, the bad just got worse, with every slap and every curse. Until her daddy in a drunk rage one night, used a gun on her mom and then took his life!!!

She chose to walk alone, though others wondered why. She always kept her eyes cast upward towards the sky. She tryed to ignore the ugly voices that went on inside her head, wishing that maybe someday she’d be dead. The kids would always stop and stare as she walked down the halls, wishing she was somewhere else maybe Niagra Falls. Some say she wished too hard, some say she wished too long, but we awoke one autumn morning to find that she was gone. As she stood outside and watched the darkness turn to dawn, she wondered if she really wanted to go on.

Please shut up. Can’t you see that you are annoying me. Bitch shut the fuck up, you drive me insane, you fuck up my brain, while I am in pain. I don’t get no gain from the torture you cause, can’t you put your mouth on pause. I’d love to torture you the way you do to me. First I’d make sure you couldn’t see. Then I’d tie you up so you couldn’t flee. I’m sorry but this is the way it has to be. I resist the urge to blow your brains to hell. Damn it someone’s ringing the door bell. I ignore it and try not to throw a fit as I imagine you in a pit. I shrug my shoulders and pull the trigger, go figure. Six feet under you will rest, I know you didn’t try to do your best!!

put in poetic please

when the light goes out you can hardly see,
when you open ur mouth theres no breath to breath,
the hearts entangled in a mass of chains.
the light is open but it all stays the same

the truth engulfed in your lies
decieved by your artificial cries
when push comes to shove the truth comes out
the inside stirs an internal shout

i shout inside but no one can hear
no one can belive that it can be real
on the exterior happiness is shown
now, the thoughts in me seem unknown

the thread of life is once again cut
and the life inside me is torn away
the life is gone, nothing but death
not one word not even a breath

for it was you my heart resisted
in my dreams my emotions existed
in my dreams they werent for you
but for the one that loves me not a lie…..untrue.

Everything feels so pretentious, looking around and feeling like you are in a movie. The movie seems to have wierd resemblances to life, along with complete lies. But which one will you believe? Do you even have a choice? In life, the things movies are made about do not feel as important. They aren’t life changing as the movie makes them out to be. In this movie, who are you? Are you the protagonist or the antagonist? What is your role? Your purpose? Are you getting your lines right? When in life, we constantly spew out lines, lines to make people think we are something. The blood seems so real though. Are you sure that this is a movie? The acting is superb and seems so genuine. You can see the fear, hate, love, despair, and ignorance in their eyes. When the lights go out, do they ever come back on? Roll credits.

my misery,
my misery has been captured,
and taken away,
i need it back,
for with out it i am nothing,
i mean nothing,
i seen the sunlight and almost killed me,
i sit in the shadows and hide away,
but with out my misery,
i am nothing,
misery brings my heart dow low,
and makes me wanna cry,
misery my world,
come back to me,
oh please my misery i need thee

Razor Simons was perched on the window sill in his upstairs bedroom, finishing off the last of his cigarette.

“Damn him. Why did he have to go and rat on me?”

Razor asked himself as he stared out into the darkness. It was the middle of summer and even though he had his t shirt off, sweat still trickled down Razors’ chest. At sixteen, Razor was tall, at least 6′1, muscular, blond hair, blue eyed, and he had a tattoo of a wolf howling at the moon on his left shoulder blade. Sensing someone was coming, Razor jumped off his perch and closed the window, putting the cigarette butt in the ash tray underneath his bed. A second later, his bedroom door opened and his dad stood in the doorway, glaring at him.

“What the fuck do you want?” Razor asked glaring back.

“Don’t take that tone of voice with me young man!” his dad yelled.

Razor rolled his eyes and showed his dad his middle finger.

“Fuck you.” Razor said in a calm voice, not paying attention to his dads’ balled up fists.

“Oh so you want to act like a smart ass?” his dad asked, walking towards his son.

Razor stood his ground not budging an inch when his dad, who stood a good 4 inches taller than him, grabbed Razor by his belt and lifted him off the ground. Razor spat in his dads’ face and Mr. Simons threw him against the bedroom wall. Razor staggered around, trying to get his balance back.

“Now you want to be a smart ass to me go right ahead.” his dad said.

Without thinking, Razor charged him and hit him in the stomache. Mr. Simons barreled over and nearly fell to the ground. Regaining his senses, Mr. Simons grabbed a spiked chain that hung on Razors’ wall, and slowly walked toward him. Razor tryed to get away, but it was no use, his dad was twice his size and he had more muscle than Razor. Throwing him against the wall again, Mr. Simons began to beat Razor with the chain.

“Stop dad, you’re going to kill me!” Razor yelled, but it was no use.

“You wanted to be like a man by hitting me, now I’m going to show you how much of a man you are!” his dad yelled back, hitting him even harder than before.

Razor tried to focuse on his dad, but everything was going black. Every now and then he could see his dad above him, but then he’d become unconciouse……

TO BE CONTINUED

i would like this submission to go into poetic

when the light goes out you can hardly see,
when u open ur mouth theres no breath to breath,
the hearts entangled in a mass of chains.
the light is open but it all stays the same

the truth engulfed in your lies
decieved by your artificial cries
when push comes to shove the truth comes out
the inside stirs an internal shout

i shout inside but no one can hear
no one can belive that it can be real
on the exterior happiness is shown
the thoughts in me seem unknown