He just kept hitting me…he wouldn’t stop…I could taste the blood in my mouth that was a result of the first hit…he shoved me and I was out of the car in a flash, he ran around to the other side and started to kick me, I could feel my rib break with the power of just one kick, the pain was startling, that was what it was like to have a broken bone, why is it so hard to breath and why am I coughing up more blood?
He just kept hitting me…he wouldn’t stop…I could taste the blood in my mouth that was a result of the first hit…he shoved me and I was out of the car in a flash, he ran around to the other side and started to kick me, I could feel my rib break with the power of just one kick, the pain was startling, that was what it was like to have a broken bone, why is it so hard to breath and why am I coughing up more blood?
This is what I kept thinking as he beat me, my boyfriend, he had been hitting me for the longest time, I would go over to a friends house and he would watch me, he would think of reasons to hit me, even when all I had done is spoke to another guy, but I loved him, and I wanted him to love me. This was one of the most intelligent people that I have ever met, at first I loved being around him, I needed to be around him, he was the only person that accepted me, my father told me that everything he had heard about this boy was bad, but I loved hin. we were sitting in his car one day and I had said something about this guy from school and his hand moved so fast and with such force that it knocked me back hard against the seat, he had hit me, that was the first time, he then started to cry and apoligize for what he did he said that he didn’t mean to and he would never hurt me, I sat there and looked at him, while on my face where his hand had hit me, I could feel it swelling, it was trobbing, and as I looked at him I felt bad for him, I forgave him, after I got home I told my parents that i had slipped and fell, my face was really swollen, they believed me, I talked to my boyfriend and we agreed that my face was hands off, after that every time he got mad he would hit me and then after he hit me he would feel bad and ask me to hold him, and i would, I would forgive him every time, one day he took he to a park, before we arrived I had been with another student discussing art this student happened to be and guy, he insisted on walking me out to the car, my boyfriend was furious, after we got to the park, he hit me, and she shoved me out of the car. He just kept hitting me…he wouldn’t stop…I could taste the blood in my mouth that was a result of the first hit…he shoved me and I was out of the car in a flash, he ran around to the other side and started to kick me, I could feel my rib break with the power of just one kick, then, all of the sudden there was yelling it was him, someone was pulling him off of me,it was the student I had been discussing art with, my boyfriend punched the guy in the face, kicked my broken rib once more and left, the guy, came over to me and helped me up, we got in his car and he took me to the hospital, I begged him not to tell, I still loved my boyfriend, he was just in a bad mood, I said that I needed him and that I loved him, the student promised not to tell, after I got to the hospital, they said that I had broken a rib and the bone punctured my lung, that is why I was coughing up blood, they fixed me, and the first thing I did was call my boyfriend again, to tell him that I was sorry and that I needed him and that I still loved him because I knew he would never hurt me without a reason and that I had given him one and that it was my fault, I never told my parents, and I wanted to tell him that I didn’t tell anyone, that he wasn’t going to get in trouble, that I did what he would have wanted. Tha I was a good girl for him, the art student came up to me and made me hang up the phone and we talked, the doctors said that I had bruses all over my body and that someone had been mistreating me for some time, and I looked at myself in the mirror, completely naked, I could see every bruise, and they suddenly started to hurt, I called him and told him we had to break up, he called me today, he wants me back….
13 comments ↓
I just can’t stand those kinds of relationships. I just wish they knew that it’s unhealthy, and that they can definately find better. Very tragic…
don`t go back to him
don`t go back to him
do what you feel is right, though bear in mind the pain it causes
Why would you even think of going back into a relationship like that?
I can see that you love him alot to keep on going back to him all the time. but you have to say no, because he is going to keep doing this and maybe once he might go to far and end up killing you.
sometimes we want to sacrifice ourselves for our love… i have done this but now i have nothing to show for it. often we cannot learn from others words and later are ridiculed from seeming so stupid. at times we have to stick our hands in the fire to see how hot it is. to feel love that you never want to let go but it often walks away or hurts you so many times. i mourn for you and have felt your pain. choose your path and you will get no criticizations from me.
I say run him over with a scooter
i’m sorry if what you are looking for is sympathy, but i have none for you if you choose to return to him. you are ignorant and foolish if you think that he will love you.
–mourning
I feel so sorry for you,no one deserves that kind of treatment,you returned to him because love is addictive and you think they wont do it again,but stand up for yourself and be thankful that ur friend made you realise what had happened before it was too late.my only advice is dont hide things u need someone to confide in and help you out.Chin up babe and fight for recognition.
fight for recognition? hell, fight to kick his ass. i’ll admit i’m not fond of the “i never hit a lady” phrase. if a woman knocks him first i believe a man has every right to hit her back, but shit, nobody deserves to be hit for the hell of it. obviously, as you said this has gone on for some time, so hello, get a wake up call. he’s not going to change. i don’t care how addictive love is, your a fool if you’re still with him.
i shouldn’t have said that, but oh well. it’s not that i’m entirely cold, it’s just that, well, how long is he going to have to beat the shit out of you before he kills you? have you ever thought about having kids? if so, what’s to stop him from beating them? obviously you haven’t been able to physically overpower him. what’s to stop him from killing you or your kids?
wake up. if you leave him, kudos to you and i’ll be here to listen, but if you’re still with his dumb-ass, then it’s your own fault for not leaving.
–mourning
mourning-Its not always that easy to leave things behind,people become a part of your life whether its in a good way or not. Things arent black and white,you will always feel drawn to someone however much they hurt you and you’ll always pine for them.Dont make out its her fault coz it isnt,she tried to break away but its not easy to.Im surprised your being so harsh to her,think of what she’s been through and consider it from her point of view not yours.
by writing what she did, she ackowledged that she had a problem, neglecting to solve that problem is something only she can do. i never said it would be easy, but she needs to realize that she only has two options. one: she can pack her things and get the hell out of dodge. or two: he’s going to kill. if not sooner than later, but eventually it will lead to her death.
i’ve never been one to deny anyone of a wakeup call. i have no sympathy for her, because i have no sympathy for myself. i realized that staying with someone who abuses you hurts. i learned that lesson the hard way. but you know what else i learned? those friends that you’ve been isolated from for so long, are still there when you’re ready to leave.
–mourning
ps. there’s a fucked up reason for the way i am, but i’ve never been into sharing, so don’t ask.