If it isn’t true, you might be asking yourself why I’d bother reporting on this story. Because it’s funny, that’s why. Do I need any other reason? And why is it funny? Because it COULD have been true. Easily. I remember seeing former Hootie and the Blowfish frontman turned unlikely Country-Western star Darius Rucker do an interview once, wherein he described how, at a visit to the White House, the Secret Service accosted him as just some black dude wandering around the place. The Spooks—government spooks, that is—didn’t recognize Mr. Rucker and were about to take him down. If a Fed at the White House could make such an egregious mistake, then certainly some hired security guard at the Oscars is capable of the same. But while the Secret Service guys could be accused of making rash judgments based solely on skin color, the rent-a-cops on the red carpet MIGHT have a valid excuse. If this story were true, which, as discussed, it isn’t. We’re playing with hypotheticals, here.
The gist of it is that famed Horror director Rob Zombie showed up at the Academy Awards looking like Rob Zombie. Security mistook him for some homeless guy who’d somehow gotten past them and tackled him as a potential threat. This couldn’t have happened to, say, George Clooney. It didn’t happen to Zombie, either. It didn’t happen at all. But it’s still funny to think that it could have.