renouncing my faith in my useless talents,
strange demented dark heartache and violent,
the sound of your voice was like poison to me,
only a lock to my hart and you’ve stolen the key,
i wonder if you’ll denie that you where the reason,
or if you’ll say sorry like sorrys in season,
but you’re never wrong. you’re all ways right,
i wonder if you’ll miss me on cold october nights,
maybe in years in the dicgionary there will be.
lissted under pain…hurt, heartache,..then me

A poem about a very cliche type suicide…first “decent” poem I’ve wrote in a good while…I guess.

Her black eyeliner ran down her face
As she cried tears of infinite disgrace
Her pale white skin turn cold
As she made the very last fold
To the note she will leave behind
There’s nothing more for her to find
Nothing to help ease her pain
On the carpet a huge red stain
From the blood pumping out her opened vein
Not one friend to her name
She bears witness to all her shame
Why’s her life even worth living
When all it ever seems to be doing is ending
As her cold body slumps to the floor
Her soul already knows what’s in store
Her note soaked with blood and cannot be read
Her last words are now dripping with red
Speeding up the end of her life
This is her just and final sacrifice

Posers is just another fucking label!! I personally hate labels. If you label your-self you are just trying to prove something.Posers arent anything they are people like you and me just givin a label. If they want to pretend to be something they are not let them it is their life and it doesnt affect you in any way!!! I think people blow alot of things out of paportion! Live your life and dont try to live someone elses!!

Why do i try to live…. my life is lost to the nothing-ness. I always knew it would i mean if your parents are a drugy and a cheating slut..you would expect a shity life. I ask my self day-ly if i should shoot my fucking brains out cause i dont want to end up like my parents….My older sister is dying not physically but emotionally…..I did look up to her she reminded me of someone great,until she started to do needles. I try to focus them out alot of the times but i only find myself bleeding them away. I dont want to cutt anymore
but i find it hard to quit. I try to forget about it but i only seem to think of it more.I try to quit smoking but i only seem to imagine the toxic waste filling my lungs. I try to do alot of things but all of them ending in disapointment. I wish i could forget alot of things and quit alot of things, but i only seem to think about them more. Is this a sign that i will end up a fuck-up . I try to live honest i do , but everyday that goes by i picture the gun that is stashed away in my closet. I think about the one single bullet. I try not to honest i do.I try alot of things but it doesnt mean i try to hard…………

Life in me, is like living in hell. I hurt all the time and I feel like I’m on fire 24/7. I’m always in the middle of shit and I’m always in everybodies way, but it’s like I love everybody in my life, but yet I hate them at the same time. I wish I could change a lot of stuff that has happened to me, but if I did that, would I still be the same person? I have so many thoughts and so many questions and I don’t know how the hell to answer them. If anyone could help please email me…… PunkBaby4Lyfe@yahoo.com….. Life gets so heavy it feels like that I just want to end it all, but yet I don’t want to lose the ones I love! I’m in a place, like a deep ass hole and I can’t get out. Please somebody talk to me and tell me that I’m not the only one feeling this shit, cause my mom and dad think I’m some kind of freak and my sister thinks I’m crazy! Am I?

renouncing my faith in my useless talents,
strange demented dark heartache and violent,
the sound of your voice was like poison to me,
only a knif to my wrists and now i sease to be,
i wonder if you’ll denie that you where the reason,
or if you’ll say sorry like sorrys in season,
but you’re never wrong. you’re all ways right,
i wonder if you’ll miss me on a cold winter’s night,
maybe in years in the dicgionary there will be.
lissted under pain…hurt. heartache. then me

Erotica

Nympthus was head of a secret underground coven, only real Vampyres could get in and not the posers, you know who I’m talking about you pulse loving bleeding bastards! Anyway, he had a part time job working nights as a local bar tender for a club called ‘Poor Richard’, he was dealin’ up some drinks when this lovely most entrancing girl walks in. “I’ll have the strongest shit you got.” She said angrily, he quickly poured her a drink and leaned in closer, “Bad night?” He asked softly. “You have no idea.” She replied taking down her shot and tipping the glass upside down, “I’m getting a break in a few, maybe we could talk.” He looked into her beautiful green eyes and sat back a little. “Sure.” She said smiling slightly.
“So my boss says that if we don’t get the shipment in tomorrow he’s gonna feed our screaming heads to the dogs. We don’t have the goods right now; they need to be shipped in from Moldova.” They had been in deep conversation for a couple of minutes and already he had fallen in love with her, “Who do you work for?” He asked, he found he couldn’t tear away from her eyes. “The Underworld.” She replied casually, “That’s a little hard to believe, don’t you think?” He said in disbelief, “Not the Underworld Underworld, the Mob.” She sat back and lit a cigarette, “The Mob?” He was confused but even more intrigued, “Don’t ask questions, I’m not even suppose to discus the shipment with the outsiders.” She blew a smoke ring off to the left side of the table, “So what do you do, other then run a bar?” She asked setting her elbow into the table and leaning in closer, “I run a coven called Poor Richard I make good money.” He said also leaning in and grabbing a small pocket knife from his pocket. “Watch.” He whispered as he lifted the knife to his wrist and then gliding it roughly against his skin, exposing the inner layer of skin. “No blood.” He shoved the pocket knife back into his jeans and stared at her who was staring back at him in awe. “Explains why all your veins are black.” He sat up and offered her his hand generously, music was playing and he wanted to dance with her. “Dance” Something came over her and she stood up, taking his hand.
As they danced he watched her every movement that she made, he looked upon her as a goddess. Their eyes clashed repeatedly as they swayed together with the hauntingly beautiful music. “Come with me and I promise you that you will have no regret.” He suddenly spoke out, not listening to his own words. “Take me.” She whispered in his ear grinding her hips into his.
* * * *
He threw her down upon the bed roughly as he grabbed a long sharp knife from the top of his dresser, he then leapt upon her cutting off her clothes piece by glorious piece. He ran the knife across her collar bone and watched as a small wound formed, filling with blood as she moaned in pleasure. He roughly licked it away and lifted up, grabbing her hair and shoving her to the floor, “Get in the bathroom.” He uttered in a powerful and demanding voice, she quickly scurried to the bathroom as he told her and waited there for him to arrive. He followed her to the bathroom ripping off his clothes as he went to her, “Get in the shower.” He demanded, she did as she was told, he turned the water as hot as it could go. It stung their flesh as they both stared at each other, “Get down on your knees.” Again she did as she was told, she slowly lowered to her knees as he stood there, naked before her. “Now.” He pointed to his hard ‘special friend’ and she began to gently kiss the tip, he moaned in pleasure as she swallowed him whole again and again, he knew he was about o cum so he grabbed her hair and pulled her up from her job. He shoved her roughly against the shower wall, both of them drenched in steaming water, “Fuck me.” She whispered in his ear. He shoved three fingers deep into her pussy and felt her walls closing in as she buckled, he began thrusting his fingers in and out of her. She moaned loudly and said his name, he pulled his fingers out and then threw her down on the shower floor. “Go to the bed.” He said sternly, she quickly got up and made her way to the bed, he turned off the shower and followed.
He found her laying on the bed wet and ready, he slowly moved on top of her, he felt her hips lift into his and she stared at him begging with her eyes. He shoved his huge cock into her making her scream out his name, their hips moved in rhythm as she reached her climax, her back arched and he knew she was going to cum. He felt her juices run down and his juices also spilled from his body. “You’re amazing she whispered to him as her knees buckled, he felt his fangs slide from his gums as he kissed her neck, biting her his teeth slipped into her vein, she let out a gasp and fell unconscious. He removed himself from her and sat up putting his clothes back on he grabbed his keys and sped out the door, but not before looking back at her beautiful naked body laying upon his bed. “I know.”

Nympthus was head of a secret underground coven, only real Vampyres could get in and not the posers, you know who I’m talking about you pulse loving bleeding bastards! Anyway, he had a part time job working nights as a local bar tender for a club called ‘Poor Richard’, he was dealin’ up some drinks when this lovely most entrancing girl walks in. “I’ll have the strongest shit you got.” She said angrily, he quickly poured her a drink and leaned in closer, “Bad night?” He asked softly. “You have no idea.” She replied taking down her shot and tipping the glass upside down, “I’m getting a break in a few, maybe we could talk.” He looked into her beautiful green eyes and sat back a little. “Sure.” She said smiling slightly.
“So my boss says that if we don’t get the shipment in tomorrow he’s gonna feed our screaming heads to the dogs. We don’t have the goods right now; they need to be shipped in from Moldova.” They had been in deep conversation for a couple of minutes and already he had fallen in love with her, “Who do you work for?” He asked, he found he couldn’t tear away from her eyes. “The Underworld.” She replied casually, “That’s a little hard to believe, don’t you think?” He said in disbelief, “Not the Underworld Underworld, the Mob.” She sat back and lit a cigarette, “The Mob?” He was confused but even more intrigued, “Don’t ask questions, I’m not even suppose to discus the shipment with the outsiders.” She blew a smoke ring off to the left side of the table, “So what do you do, other then run a bar?” She asked setting her elbow into the table and leaning in closer, “I run a coven called Poor Richard I make good money.” He said also leaning in and grabbing a small pocket knife from his pocket. “Watch.” He whispered as he lifted the knife to his wrist and then gliding it roughly against his skin, exposing the inner layer of skin. “No blood.” He shoved the pocket knife back into his jeans and stared at her who was staring back at him in awe. “Explains why all your veins are black.” He sat up and offered her his hand generously, music was playing and he wanted to dance with her. “Dance” Something came over her and she stood up, taking his hand.
As they danced he watched her every movement that she made, he looked upon her as a goddess. Their eyes clashed repeatedly as they swayed together with the hauntingly beautiful music. “Come with me and I promise you that you will have no regret.” He suddenly spoke out, not listening to his own words. “Take me.” She whispered in his ear grinding her hips into his.
* * * *
He threw her down upon the bed roughly as he grabbed a long sharp knife from the top of his dresser, he then leapt upon her cutting off her clothes piece by glorious piece. He ran the knife across her collar bone and watched as a small wound formed, filling with blood as she moaned in pleasure. He roughly licked it away and lifted up, grabbing her hair and shoving her to the floor, “Get in the bathroom.” He uttered in a powerful and demanding voice, she quickly scurried to the bathroom as he told her and waited there for him to arrive. He followed her to the bathroom ripping off his clothes as he went to her, “Get in the shower.” He demanded, she did as she was told, he turned the water as hot as it could go. It stung their flesh as they both stared at each other, “Get down on your knees.” Again she did as she was told, she slowly lowered to her knees as he stood there, naked before her. “Now.” He pointed to his hard ‘special friend’ and she began to gently kiss the tip, he moaned in pleasure as she swallowed him whole again and again, he knew he was about o cum so he grabbed her hair and pulled her up from her job. He shoved her roughly against the shower wall, both of them drenched in steaming water, “Fuck me.” She whispered in his ear. He shoved three fingers deep into her pussy and felt her walls closing in as she buckled, he began thrusting his fingers in and out of her. She moaned loudly and said his name, he pulled his fingers out and then threw her down on the shower floor. “Go to the bed.” He said sternly, she quickly got up and made her way to the bed, he turned off the shower and followed.
He found her laying on the bed wet and ready, he slowly moved on top of her, he felt her hips lift into his and she stared at him begging with her eyes. He shoved his huge cock into her making her scream out his name, their hips moved in rhythm as she reached her climax, her back arched and he knew she was going to cum. He felt her juices run down and his juices also spilled from his body. “You’re amazing she whispered to him as her knees buckled, he felt his fangs slide from his gums as he kissed her neck, biting her his teeth slipped into her vein, she let out a gasp and fell unconscious. He removed himself from her and sat up putting his clothes back on he grabbed his keys and sped out the door, but not before looking back at her beautiful naked body laying upon his bed. “I know.”

The tender sole I once knew was dead,
Now in its place is a cold hard stone of remembrance over the mangled body of my beloved.
No one knew what it felt like to have his cold hard fingers wrap around your body,
But now I feel nothing, I feel as cold and as dark as the throbbing black heart within.
He has now become a living breathing corps,
Ripe with the scent of the underworld.
For reality is coiled between the veins of his twisted mind.
Once he was mine, a kind, caring, loving sole,
But now that the darkness has taken him, he is banished to the depths of his own blood.
Never to rise from the pits of Hell, but to live off of the life of others.
A life of eternal condemnation.
The weak withered sole cries out into the night’s sky, unable to escape from fear that has taken over and reared its ugly head.
Captured and alone it too dies, and now there is nothing left of my beloved but a rotting love deep within an echo of a hollow heart.
The rain comes down, falling like teardrops, hoping to ease my pain.
I lay down next to my beloved to be joined together in the afterlife, never to love again.
I shed a single tear in remembrance of the man I once called, beloved.

Why i drag the cold hard blade acros my skin is much of a mystery to you. Ill keep it to myself locked deep inside my blackend tortured soul. Youll never know how much it hurts but the pain lets me know that i’m still alive, that i’m still real at times when i feel dead and lost to the world.Gone and forgotten. Not like it matters how dimented and truely twisted i am. No you’ll never ask me i write the way i do. Or why i cry alone in the night no ones there and willing ly watching. No one has ever seen me cry. not since i was like 7 years old. It’s weird, like if i was ever sad or something I’d just bottle it all up inside and make evryone beleive i was this happy normal decent child. It was kind of fun pretending to be who i wasn’t. But that diddn’t last long though. Like when i was mabye about 10 yrs old I decided ‘fuck it i just can’t pretend to be who i’m not anymore’ And i guess iv’e been writing since around that time. It’s always been this morbid type of shit. My mom sent me to alll these different counslors and none of them really helped much, they just pissed me off even more. so now dayz i’m like getting more stressed each day. I actually have little spots were my hair is turning white. It kinda sucks but it looks kina kewl.

while tha sun hasnt come tha nite stands still… no movement on the ground nothings lookin good, when will it all end and have long lasting friends how come this hasnt happend to him…. wonder what to do i draw a blank fall to the ground and sink

watchin death at a slow steady beat as it comes to u … ready ta hurt u wit a threat knowin ur lovin it..

I can hear them in my head, the voices. They’re everywhere inside and outside of me. I can feel them in me, taking control and never letting go. So much like the shadows only they hold no comfort for me. They torment me; inside they make it hard to breath, to cry, to do anything unless they say so. My master my controllers my lovers.
I can scream and grab my head in pain. The torment will never leave me it will always be there inside me watching feeding off me like a parasite that controls you over. I can curl up in a ball and hide in the dark corners begging for the shadows to come and rescue me but they can only get so far. Before my blessed lovers will stop them.
I scream when they hurt me and laugh when they try again. My mind slowly leaves me and in time it will be no more than just a memory if I can have any left. Soon ill just become one of their pets. To bow and play good, and do as they wish. I don care any more. Because long ago I lost the sense of what was pleasure and what was pain. Maybe soon ill gain it back. But right now; the music and the blades, the slaps and degrading actions and comments, the cruel laughter and nails breaking my skin, the tearing of my flesh inside and out have all become my pleasures. Those reassuring words, confident words, positive actions, sweet kisses, gentle creases, loving touches, cloths to clean the blood, bandages and salves to heal the scars and take away affection, those have become the pain.
I’m slowly losing my mind every day it goes faster than the last soon nothing will be left. I don’t know when my sorrow became my friend my insane thoughts became rational when the crying became my only joy. I don’t care anymore. I’ll always serve them now those voices that slowly strip away those qualities of me everyday and turn into a shell. They have become my masters and my lovers, they say they love me so I’ll love them and give them everything. I’ll believe all their lies, just for as long as they tell me they love me.

At one end of the cell he sat chained to a stone table weeping and at the other sat I against the wall sipping my bloodwine in thought. It had been hours gone sense I’d ripped him away from his cradle, but he cried still and never tired. ‘What to do with the child? What would be the best method of savoring the blood of the most innocent?’ I sat tapping my finger to my chin and sipping from my golden cup for a few hours more. The child had stopped weeping without my knowing. His voice had died and all he could manage were faint hisses and squeels. I rose to walk to were he was and stood over him, mouth watering. He had a face like a pig and all I could think of was all the ways I loved to eat pork. ‘If you look like a pig, squeel like a pig, and… *leaning in close to to sniff the child who’s puked and defecated on himself* diffinatly smell like a pig…well then, you must die like a pig.’ Laughing manically I grabbed a butchering knife that hung from the wall and sliced the child from the tip of the head to the bottom of the bottom in once swift motion. As I separated his body into pieces, I mockingly sang a fimilar song to his soul as it wisked around the room in horror.’…this little piggy had roast beef…this little piggy had none…’ I tossed the body bits in a large metal pot and lidded it up. After licking my fingers, I carried it up the
long dungen stairs and to the kitchen with the childs soul howling behind me all the way. Once on the stove I filled the pot with water, vegetables, and yummy seasonings. It would be a stew fit for Kings and it simmered and steamed to perfection all night long and through the next day. In my coffin I could hear the sunset like a magical
symphony in my head and I awoke fully rested and ready for mischeif. I went back to the kitchen to collect the stew and carry it out the Castle door to the black carriage that awaited me. The windows were drapped with red lace as the black horses braids were tied off at the ends with the same. Piggy’s soul, now my haunting companion, rode with me to the mansion nearest mine and it seemed the master of the house was awaiting me, for there were a row of servants at the entrance. They took the stew to the kitchen for warming and me to the lounge room to greet the Sir and Lady of the house. Apon entering the room I found it dark and dreary, the only light coming from the fireside where the two sat sobbing in their chairs. I knelt before each of them and kissed their hands with concern and condolence. ‘It is most difficult to lose ones only son in the dead of the night. I assure you, as the Commanding Officer of Justice in this small town of ours, this WILL NOT go unpunished. I will personally track down this hellish monster and show him to the devil’s door myself! Please have some dinner with me in the dinning room to discuss the details. I’ve brought a special stew to warm your hearts.’ With that they gathered composer and enjoyed the stew with me right down to the last drop. Shamlessly burping and rubbing his belly, the Lord of the house thanked me profussely for the delicious food, while the Lady even licked her fingers as I had. When dessert was finished, the misses went to bed and only the Lord and I remained at the table. He was smoking a cigar and rammbling about servants he suspected….strange things he hears at night from his chamber windows…shadows that wander off. All I could notice was the bit of blood dribbling down his chin. It was calling to me…beckoning me..begging me…I was hypnotised. I watched it dance this way and that down his throat. It was so beautiful and I was drawing nearer to it. I didn’t even realize what I was doing as my tounge slithered up the trail the blood had made from his neck to his mouth. What was a passionate kiss to him was a excavation for blood to me. As he went to unhinge his belt buckle I nipped and nibbled my way to his juggular, letting my fangs sink into the vein. The rush of blood to my mouth, on my tounge, down into my body was…orgasmic. His was cold blood, chilled with hate and corruption. It soothed me and filled me completely. Before I could collect my better judgement I had carried him to the edge of death. Leaning back and staring into his distant glare I quickly tore off his jaw and tossed it on the table. It made it easier to reach down into his throat and rip out his heart, tossing him off the edge and watching him plumet to death. It was done before he even had a chance to scream. When I rose from my coffin the next night a messenger of the house awaited me with news from my troubled neighbors. The head servant sent word that the Lady of the house awoke that morning to have breakfast early, for she could not
sleep, and found her husband dead and mutilated in his chair. She grabbed a butter knife and tore out her own heart, insain with greif and shock. I was to make my way to the house as soon as possible to tend to the mansion they’de left to me in their will. Piggy and I giggled and danced around each other at our inheiritance. As I had promised him the night before, I would soon turn the mansion into a place fit for metepsychosis. He would be given a body and made a vampire like me. He would then be the new Lord of the house and take the position of Second in Command of Justice. It would be beautiful and together we would make this hell on earth for all whom would came to live and die in our town.

-If you like this and want to add on to it, or just find another place were people write things like this, come to a new board that has just opened up: http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/Vampire_Violence/

to the worst mom and daddy,
when you read this i’ll be dead,, resting on my final bed. i dont have the words and i cant explain, all my life i’ve felt this pain. my existance twisted and full of tears, you’d see my reasons, if you had fears. i’ve lost control,but this i know, its over now, its time to go. you’ll say you miss me cause i am not there , but when i was you didnt care. now dont cry, we all know you go to hell when you lie.

All my life it always kill or be killed but the true is that if you do kill then you are still in the same place but a diffrent person and for those pf you who want to be a diffrent person then be my guest and shot awaybut stop and think from time to time and wonder why you do this. The only reason I found is that people are tought to think kill or be killed but tell me is this killing all it is worth when that person’s life is haneded to you on a sivler plater and you toss it away just because that you think that they are inferior to you. Well I think like this so if any cop or some other fucked up retard tries to get in my way then they will not be a person or even a corpes left to find the person will be blowen away so fast that their life would’ent even have time to get to where they are now but the good news is that I’ll have a smile on my face and so will I die with a smile on my face becase the people’s deaths bring me comfert and joy fuck YES!!!! so go out and kill or be killed (by me)

Right now I can not sleep,
Having a feel for night crawling,
Does that make me vampiric?

Right now I want to spend the night with lust in my mind.
Wanting to creep…..
Creep…..
Creep down to a beautiful woman’s neck and kiss her gently.
Having her to clench me like a victim dying in a murderer’s arms.
Does that make me vampiric?

Right now I want that woman to submit to my decedent wishes:
And having my same intentions of what we feel,
Cloaked with Lady Midnight’s sheet of protection.
Does that make me vampiric?

Right now I want to have some quarreling schumck;
To get violent with me and my love.
So I have an excuse to……..
CUT OUT HIS NECK AND TORN IT INSIDE OUT
AND DRINK HIS FUCKING BLOOD FOR MY PRIMAL, ANARCHIC
GLUTTONESS THIRST.
AND MAKE HIM AN EXAMPLE OF ANYBODY…..
ANYBODY, WHO WOULD STEP IN SOMEONE’S PRIVACY.

GOT THAT MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!

But seriously…..
Does that make vampiric?
If so…would you like to PROVE ME WRONG!?!
If not, I am going to bed early.

Good morning to you all.

every night my knife’s in my fist
when i bleed it moves to my wrist
every night i try and try
thinking maybe i will die
i always stop because im afraid
to see the blood soaked on my blade
nobody suspects me of doing this
because i seem like a joyful bliss
but im nothing of the sort
every night in my fort
it has become a beautiful sight
now its time i say…goodnight

I’m looking out the door sperating u from me.
I know what u want i want it too.
i’m addicted i cant stop. ishouldn’t have to but i think i should. b cuz i don’t want to get pregnate, we dont use a condom any more. i’m begining to think you don’t even care if u get me pregnate. BUT I DO CARE. theres not enough money for an abortion. No way in HELL would i keep it. My mom doesn’t even know that i’m having sex.for all she knows i’m still her little girl.Well ma, i’m not.Mabye i am too young to be having sex mabye not.Is 13 too young? My friend Holly says yes and no.i dunno. i don’t wanna stop cuz it feels soo good. but i must. so i’ll try, try to refrain myself from doing it anymore, G’bye.

I sit and write think what to say,
they tell me “you should live day by day.”
but its not easy, with all this shit i got goin on in my life
i hold in my hand my kitchen knife.
my razor blade is better, leaving a distiant but noticable scar,
i don’t value my life not the least bit not by far.
i dont value my life no, not like i should,
i take chances dont learn from my mistakes,you say youd love me only if u could.
although u say u do, i know its not true.
its just alie told,now i say it to you.
but i did mean it,now,i dont.
i’m tryin not to love you i can’t iwon’t.
cuz evry time i say yes, i’m just settin my heart up.
you said your sorry,you didn’t know u hurt me this bad, just leave me alone shut the fuck up.
i dont want to hear it any more.
get out of my head, i dont want u any more.
get out of my face,
get off my case.
ahh, i’m alone at last.
no your back! i said get away before i kick your fuckin ass!

Something must be wrong with me
with all this hurt inside
always bursting with anger
and never any pride.

Something must be wrong with me
if all I do is cry
I can’t stop this pain
all I want to do is die.

Something must be wrong with me
if my emotions run wild
all this confusion does
is makes me feel like a lost child.

Somthing must be wrong with me
with all these horrible things
always there and haunting
depression is what it brings.

Something must be wrong with me
if I can’t stop these thoughts
all this pain does
is turn my stomach in knots.

Something must be truely wrong with me
when I think there is only one way out
“Let this pain end,”
is all my heart and soul will shout!

I get a funny feeling,
It comes from deep inside,
I get all mad and angry,
Wanting to go and hide.

My doctor calls it depression,
My mother says it’s just me,
But the thoughts and feelings,
No one will ever be able to see.

Some people say I’m psycho,
Some say I’m a freak,
It’s like I’m a different person,
And the old me just disappeared.

I get really edge,
I want to commit suicide real bad.
Then I get a headache,
Followed by feeling really sad.

I wish I could get help,
I wish it would go away.
Maybe if I keep praying real hard,
It will some day.

poetic

scared to be me, who am i? know onw knows who i am, i am mysterious, or am i? Am i who seem to be. Am i an imaginary charater inside another dream? in a corner in the smallest place am i there? Am i real or am i fake? Am i true or am i the lie? The lie others hide behind, the truth that flows from the lips of liars. scared to be myself for what others might think or say. To be true is that the lie? or is the lie the truth? Am i scared to be myself for what others might think or say or am i saving them from agony of having to suffer the horror of knowing the terrible lie that i hold deep inside. deep inside i hold pieces of me know one will ever have the madness of knowing. for their sanity i will hide in a small corner in a dark place now no one will cry. don’t cry dry your tears no one will hurt you now that i am gone. to the lie i go back inside myself never to be heard again.

EROTICA

His cold, wet hands moved up her soft silky skin, slowly taking off her shirt, underneathe her shirt revealed to him a prefect pair of breasts, her nipples hardened from the mere touch of this hands. He slid his hands up and down her waist, not removing her from his eye. He stared at her deeplyand she stared back with passion in her eyes, they leand in their head and started to kiss, him caressing her tongue with his, he lowered his head and started sucking and licking her nipples. she swang her arms around him at the simple thought of not being with him. she caressed his head with the tips of her fingers, she moved her hands to his neck and removed his shirt. While he was still enjoying the taste of breast, she started to remove his pants, suddenly his hand graped her arm
” Are you sure you wanna go this far” he spoke in a beautiful voice
” Yes” She Said
“yes, Yes I want you inside me, I want you to hold me forever, and promise that you will never let me go, I want you to fuck me, please fuck me hard”
At the sound of this he gave the look in his eyes that told her to ride him. She took off this pants and his boxers to show her, his fully ercet penis, he pushed her down on the bed and he on his hands and knees crawled up to her mouth, he laid his penis on her lips and she started to lick the tip of his penis, she loved to tease him, then with no warning, she swolled his penis, she took the whole thing in one go, in her mouth, and started to suck, harder and harder, faster and faster, everytime, he moaned with pleasure he felt an orgasm coming so he tried to pull away but she grabbed his penis, and continued suckng, she wanted ang got every drop of it. He took off her pants, she was wearing a black thong, he was so very turned on, he ripped it off and started to finger her, he pushed to finger in and out, he got faster and deeper ever second. She moaned with a grin on her face, that made him smile, knowing that she was happy.
” Why did you stop? ”
” It’s time for the real thing. ”
breathing hard and their hearts thumping, she smiled, he got onto his knees again and told her to put her legs over his shoulders, she done this and he went in going deeper than he did with his fingers, they were breathing harder and harder than ever before, she squzed and held her breast to keep her found screaming out his name.
He stoped and they collapsed in each others arms, and they slept, dreaming about what had just happened.

His cold, wet hands moved up her soft silky skin, slowly taking off her shirt, underneathe her shirt revealed to him a prefect pair of breasts, her nipples hardened from the mere touch of this hands. He slid his hands up and down her waist, not removing her from his eye. He stared at her deeplyand she stared back with passion in her eyes, they leand in their head and started to kiss, him caressing her tongue with his, he lowered his head and started sucking and licking her nipples. she swang her arms around him at the simple thought of not being with him. she caressed his head with the tips of her fingers, she moved her hands to his neck and removed his shirt. While he was still enjoying the taste of breast, she started to remove his pants, suddenly his hand graped her arm
” Are you sure you wanna go this far” he spoke in a beautiful voice
” Yes” She Said
“yes, Yes I want you inside me, I want you to hold me forever, and promise that you will never let me go, I want you to fuck me, please fuck me hard”
At the sound of this he gave the look in his eyes that told her to ride him. She took off this pants and his boxers to show her, his fully ercet penis, he pushed her down on the bed and he on his hands and knees crawled up to her mouth, he laid his penis on her lips and she started to lick the tip of his penis, she loved to tease him, then with no warning, she swolled his penis, she took the whole thing in one go, in her mouth, and started to suck, harder and harder, faster and faster, everytime, he moaned with pleasure he felt an orgasm coming so he tried to pull away but she grabbed his penis, and continued suckng, she wanted ang got every drop of it. He took off her pants, she was wearing a black thong, he was so very turned on, he ripped it off and started to finger her, he pushed to finger in and out, he got faster and deeper ever second. She moaned with a grin on her face, that made him smile, knowing that she was happy.
” Why did you stop? ”
” It’s time for the real thing. ”
breathing hard and their hearts thumping, she smiled, he got onto his knees again and told her to put her legs over his shoulders, she done this and he went in going deeper than he did with his fingers, they were breathing harder and harder than ever before, she squzed and held her breast to keep her found screaming out his name.
He stoped and they collapsed in each others arms, and they slept, dreaming about what had just happened.

Poetic

I am trapped in the face of solitude
The shadow of loneless will always follow me
I am always looking for someone to give me food
But still blood, death, and pian are in front of me

Dreams, faith, memories and hope,
have faded away
I feel i can’t move because of this rope
Where are you my tourniquet
are you away dreaming of the days

If you don’t come back my tourniquet
I will die, i will die without you
i followed you, and you told me what to do
I love you, you are my soul
I can feel my blood running down my chest,
And into the bowl
My sanitiy has gone, my heart is lost
I feel coldness creeping through
My words are blocked by frost

Please my tourniquet, Return to me salvation

lying in my bed
my face is soaked by all my tears
my heart is slow, not wantin to beat much longer
wanting him to love me is what i hunger.
my room soon becomes dark
and gentle rain hits my window.
everything is so silent, i only can hear the wind blow
i cry more and more, the tears fall so gracefully down my face
tears fill my eyes but rage grows in my heart.
livin a life that u know is going to fall apart.
makes u mad and makes u sad but most of all it makes u hate.
it makes me remember and incapable of forgetting that u dont love me,no one does and never will.

poetic
why.
why cant i be the girl u want me to be.
why cant i make my mother happy?
why cant i look the way you do?
why do i have to be me?
why do people hurt me so bad and not care.
why am i so alone and no one wants to be there
why when i fell no one tried to pick me up
why when i try its never enough?
why do i cry when eveyone is happy?
why cant i have a real family?
why does no one care about how i feel?
why does life hurt so bad and feel so real?
why do all these bad things always happen?
why?

When dad killed mum, It was a warm July day,
There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky that day.
Everything was fine, Not a doubt in my mind.
All i heard was a painful shrill,then i saw the knife that killed.
Bloody but stained it was, She’d need to live to stop the blood.
.. i cry softly…

poetic

the memorial of forever night

a trickle of pain runs down the spine, and the shimmer of hope subsides. the knife that which u placed contains the poison that still remains. bleeding frome the inside out, forever night shadows my eyes, bleeding as i cry, the mixture spills on to you eatng away your life as you have taken mine