Rape (True Story)

At age 14 I was a very sweet, very innocent, and very naive young lady. All my friends were boys, save for one female friend named Sara with whom I shared everything. We were very close and were almost always together.

One early afternoon, my friend Kyle, who had a party the night before with a bunch of guys, called me up and asked me to go to the mall with them. I was very shy, just because some of the boys at the party I didn’t know. So I asked Sara to come with.

We got to Kyle’s house and found that only 4 of the guys from the party were able to come with and that they were already there. We all sat in the messy basement and waited for Kyle to get some cash from his mom. I was silent. And as I looked around at the male faces, I noticed one imparticular that was looking at me (I shall refer to him as “K” for reasons I need not explain). He was very thin and bony, and had long fingers. His hair was blonde and his eyes were blue. I didn’t think he was that attractive. I mean, he did have sort of a big nose. But he seemed like he’d be a nice friend.

When we got to the mall, we all split up into groups. Sara and I went with matt, who was at the party and had been my boyfriend the year before, and K, while Kyle, Covit, and Josh all went off together. we went to the usual stores; Hot Topic, Spencer’s, and Gamer’s Paradise. I noticed that K had been continuously glancing at me. So when I could, I would just smile back. For the next 2 hours I watched him get more comfortable around me and he became very comical, daring, and a bit ‘into himself’. It gave me bad vibe, but I brushed it off and continued to observe him, trying to keep an open mind. He continuously showed off for me. It was hard not too notice that. But I didn’t like it. He was just wrong. Ever see that movie “Fear” with Reese Witherspoon? It was just like that. He seemed so sweet and polite. But every now and again you could just barely sense it, the evil in him. That night, on the way home, he asked for Sara’s AOL screen name. I admit I was a bit confused. But I paid it no mind.

Later, I went online, as I always do at 11:00. Then, I get and Instant Message from K. Apparently, he got my screen name from Sara. First we just chatted. But soon, I guess he just cut to it, and asked me if I was a virgin. Not ashamed, and a bit proud, I answered “yes.”. He seemed strangely interested. But I decided I should go to bed. So he left me his phone number, “In case you ever need anything.”, he told me. I soon fell asleep, nestled in my covers. In what seemed like minutes I was awakened by a nightmare. It was strangely real for one of ‘my’ nightmares. I dreamt I was in the mall parking lot, looking for my friends, when I was forced to turn around due to some audible disturbance, I guess. Not even a second before I woke up, I felt the distinct presence of someone coming near me. Not one of those “Am I being watched?” kind of presences. This one wanted to harm me. I felt it.

The next day, at 11:30 a.m., K and Kyle showed up at my house. I had just finished breakfast and was in no state for company. I hadn’t even changed out of my night clothes yet. So, while they say on the couch in my living room, I went upstairs to change. As I pulled off my Korn t-shirt, I heard footsteps on the stairs. Thinking it was my sister, I paid no attention. As I slipped out of my night shorts, I heard the door knob move. I turned abruptly and K was standing in the doorway. I covered myself and exclaimed “Dude, what the hell do you think your doing?!”, trying to sound as if I wasn’t really mad. I do so hate yelling at people. And then I saw a smile appear on his face. He just stood there comfortably, eyeing me up and down like it was ok for him to do that. In a minute he returned to the couch downstairs. I was shocked at his boldness. But I just went downstairs and pretended nothing happened. So did K. He made an art out of switching his personality. With Kyle around, he was just quiet and polite. But even the slightest amount of time alone with me, he seemed so vile and deviant. I didn’t know what to make of it.

Later that day, Kyle’s mom called. Apparently, he had some chores he forgot to do. So, much to my dismay, he left. That’s when things got really bad. My parents worked all day, so my sister and I were the only ones home. But today, she had decided to go to her friend’s house. So, even though I wasn’t technically allowed to have boys in the house when no one’s home, it was just K and I.

He got right to it. He touched my lower stomach a lot, slowly working his way down, as if he didn’t want me to notice. Then, my thigh. Being the meek and passive person I am, I said little. But I did do my best to find excuses to get off the couch. But it only worsened when I sat back down. Soon he was almost on top of me, trying to “tickle” me. I laughed slightly, now on the floor, because he really was tickling me and I’m very ticklish. In the preoccupation of being tickled, he managed to slide his hand up my shirt and under my bra. I tried to push him off of me. But he already had his knees planted firmly between my thighs, preventing them from closing, and his hands clutching my wrists. I was pinned. I repeatedly told him to get off of me. He ignored my every word. as if I hadn’t said anything at all. I was scared now. There was a look on his face I had never seen on another person before. I was the look of rage accompanied by mania. He unzipped my pants and managed to slide them and my undies down, revealing me, helpless. It hurt when I tried to move my arms. His grip was tight and he didn’t seem afraid to break my wrists if he had to. Then, I began to beg him to stop but, to my horror, he seemed to enjoy my pleas. I soon felt his warm hardness between my legs and I drew in a deep breath as he broke into me, seemingly tearing me inside. It was the most horrible pain I have ever experienced in my life. I cried hysterically and, again, he smiled maniacally as if he enjoyed my distress. He continued for what seemed like hours. And then, he ejaculated into my body. Leaving his filth to rot inside me. He stood up and said one word as he zipped up his jeans. “Slutt.” He went out my front door and closed it behind him.

I pulled up my pants and undies, my hands shaking and my tears streaming down my cheeks. My wrists were red and sore from his restraining grip and the pain between my thighs was excruciating. I stumbled up to my bedroom, put my face in the pillows on my bed and cried for hours.

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I didn’t tell anyone about this for at least 8 months. For 8 months I lived in agony I had to hide. Seeing him every once and awhile at the grocery store, at the mall. Getting that same grin from him. Even writing this was probably a bad idea. I hope I have provided some insight with this entree.

Love,

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56 thoughts on “Rape (True Story)

  1. Anastaise

    i have been through what you experienced. i do not know whether or not you ever told anyone, reported it, or otherwise, i can only tell you this: my experience with the rape crisis center and the law enforcement agencies in which i had gone through were useless. all it did was make matters worse for me. i had opened myself up to be raped all over again with each question asked, over and over and over again. those that were there to try to help me turned in to vile creatures that i hope i never have to encounter again. friends didn’t know how to react or respond, all sat there with blank stares on their faces. same went for family and significant others. they tell us to report this horro, yet all it does is make it worse for us, the victims. try to find a way to deal with it in your own head, make it right with yourself. know that you didn’t ask for it. don’t go over all the "what if’s". you’ll only drive yourself mad. eventually, through time, it will get easier. if you come across an individual that you feel you can talk to, then do so. but be careful who you share this experience with. talking to the wrong person could do more harm than good. in writing this, you took the first step needed for you to heal. it takes time…

  2. InTheAgeOfTheSleepwalker

    This was truly disturbing but did not shock me, this is just another symptom of how sick and deprived our society has become. Why are we having this a total moral lapse in our society, if anyone has answers please i need to know.

    I can never understand how you feel because I’m a man but I really truly sympathize with anyone who has been violated in this way, and I’m truly sorry for this pain that has been heaped upon you and others with similar experiences. It’s almost been 9 months from when the first post occurred so i assume a lot has changed in your life, i just hope whatever choices you made that they brought some relief to your tired and torn heart.

  3. Etah

    nobody unless put through that kind of thing could possibly know how it feels. no words can comfort the taken of your innocence, and for that i am trully sorry . you could report it and in time he could go to jail some one like that doesnt need jail, no for a crime against you like that i only see death as justice . death for every pain he caused , suffering for every tear he made you shed , eternally for the the memories you have to carry forever . sincerely your dark angel ps: i wish i would have been there to help you

  4. starfucker

    sweetheart. i know how you feel. i went through the same thing. pleasepleaseplease IM me? poetictoad on AIM. i could wrap you in my wings for awhile.

  5. DoYouLoveSatan

    Tell me where you live. This sick fuck will die. Or better tell me where he lives i’ll fucking stab his heart out. Nobody deseves to be raped. Am i not kidding, it may not be the best way to deal with people but it will show him to think twice if he tries it agian.

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