541 little pills later: I’m still alive

I feel so sick…i’m probably iron deficient or something to that effect…or it might be my crippled liver. Too much ibuprofin will do that you know…it’s just sad that it was an attempt to kill the pain I feel. It’s driving me to the point of insanity. I’m on the verge of just screaming till my vocal cords burst. Everything that i haven’t been able to vent is going to explode soon…it’s the kind of pain that itches, and makes you contort till you break. The kind of pain that you can only bear so long ebfore you snap…

I’m not normally a very outwardly violent person… But i’ve already torn my artwork to pieces…there’s not much left that I can break (without paying double or triple the apt. deposit) I just need to vent to…ah, hell…no one really wants to listen to a deranged f**k like myself. Who would WANT to, really? It’s not exactly uplifting… unless you catch me on a good day. But I shouldn’t have to have a “good day”, right? I should be feeling relatively happy, abeit not content, most of the time, right? Right?? i feel so sick. mystomach hurts… Sabine