A Bloody Love

It was another night. Much like others. Me, you, few other people. Just partying, smoking weed. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. I kept thinking about the way things used to be. They should still be like that. When I was happy, when we were together. Everyone had gone off to do their own things. I was alone. I found a knife in the kitchen drawer. Then slowly walked to the bathroom, nearly falling with every step. I sat against the door, so no one would get in. I took the razor apart. I thought about us. The happy times we had. How I wished we could have still been together. It’s hard just talking to you and seeing you as nothing but a friend. I couldn’t handle missing you when you were right next to me. I am so in love with you, but you love me only as a mere friend. As I slit my wrist and arm I cried, but not from the physical pain. The pain within was greater than anything I, or anyone else, could put on me. I came out, still not being able to walk straightly, where I seen a girl. She saw blood all down my arm and hands. She kept asking me what happened but I couldn’t find the words to tell her. Then you came over. Asked me and then her what happened. Soon everyone that was there knew. My cuts aren’t that deep, but there was a lot of blood. You kept asking me to promise never to do it again. I tell you over and over again that it’s the only way for me to be happy. You say “How can hurting yourself make you happy?” It is not I who hurting me. You are the one who hurts me. You said that even though we aren’t together you love me and care about me. You also said if it doesn’t stop that you will seek professional help for me because I’m getting out of control. The only thing that is out of control is my undying love for you. I told you that all of the blood on my arms was caused by love. Just love, nothing less. I can’t handle things like other people. The next night you and I had a long talk. I told you that it hurts me to see you with other girls. You said that it hurts you to see me hurt myself. Do you not care that you hurt me in so many ways? I keep trying and trying to prove to you that I love you. You say that you know I do, but if you really knew you wouldn’t be able to turn your back on me. We are meant to be together! From the moment we met eachother we fell in love. You even said so. You can’t just fall out of love! It’s not that simple. You keep saying you’re afraid. What are you afraid of? Want to know what I’m afraid of? I’m afraid that if things don’t change this could be the end. It’s nothing but love that I have for you. Bloody Love. Thats what my friends say it’s about. I’m in Bloody Love! All of my pain comes out in blood. But the only pain I have is from love! Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love Bloody Love. How crazy.