“Dear Michelle: Each day, with each ray of sun that touches my skin and with each fragment of the eternal silence that for a time my eyes heard, I remember you with a mix of love and hate, a mix of sadness and happiness and a small quantity of guilt.
Each day I wonder how have you been since the last time we met, sorry for being sarcastic but I really mean the “last time” part and I must be cynic enough to suppose you have forgiven me. These days my only wish, maybe the only thing that can remembers me that I’m still alive, is to see your, now decomposed but still beautiful I guess, face. I guess no fairy will ever make that wish come true, even if I pray for it the rest of my life and maybe death. Let me let you know that for seeing your decomposed, sorry for saying that again, face I would pray the rest of my life and death, just for you. After reading you must consider what I said, I would pray for you, you should carefully think about it, the most atheist of the atheist would pray for you. I would have profaned your grave with the only purpose of seeing your face again, but I don’t want more problems with the law and after what happened, your family wouldn’t even consider giving me the address of the place where you lie. They will never return any of my calls, at least without calling the police and the judge with the purpose of sending me to the worst jail in the country and I, with a broken heart, can understand it. I must say, I always liked your family, you know? Your father was always kind with me and I still laugh when I remember your brother’s jokes, they have helped me during this time, and I know that if would have had the chance to meet your mother, may she rest in piece, I would have liked her too. Now something has come to my mind, I hope you were not offended when I said I would have profaned your grave, I was trying to be the kind and lovely guy you sometime loved. Do not think I’m necrophiliac ‘cause I’m not I would be offended if you thought I was planning about doing something sinful with your corpse.I don’t know if you care about myself, but I will tell you how I have been. This has been a though year I must say but I’ve been really great. Finally Mr. Holopainen judged, and he set free of all charges, they said the evidence found in your house wasn’t enough. I’m not sure if you are happy with this but I must say I do, obviously. Anyway some guilt remains in my body and that guilt gave me the strenght I needed to write this letter. I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you, I’m not being cynic now if you think so, and I hope you will, with luck, someday forgive me. I think about you all day long and dream about you at night, I remember that last day each time I see a women and each time I see a knife, sorry for that comment. I guess I remember more details that you do, that day you had a red dress on that look incredibly beautiful on you, your blond hair was almost blinding me and your green eyes hypnotized me. This is kind of a confession I know. Then in that moment I realized how much I love you and I wanted to preserve that, then you touched me with your soft white skin and kissed me with your fleshy, now red, lips. That was maybe the most beautiful thing I have ever felt and after that kiss I felt almost high. I know you remember that and I guess you felt the same. Then we both sat down in your living room, your art deco living room but for the first time I didn’t pay attention to the sculptures. Then I asked you if you wanted to stay there or you wanted to go out and you answered with your amazing sharp voice “wherever you want my dear”, “let’s stay here and drink for our eternal love” that’s what I said. As you can see, I remember every single detail. I went to the kitchen and looked for your best champagne, after I found it I took two crystal wineglasses and returned to the living room but just before I saw a knife, a perfectly clean knife with unusual brightness but I saw it for a while and then I returned with you. I sat down next to you and we drank for our love like I said we should do. Then you started kissing me like you had never done before and I continued with you, it wasn’t more than kisses but all of them were full made of love, which was true love. I can’t believe some people said that I was trying to rape you and like you didn’t want I decided to kill you, the first time I heard that I was very offended but well I got over it. After that intense moment of passion I returned to the kitchen and when I entered I saw the knife again, I felt like it was calling me and I decided to return the call. When I took it something happened, I lost control over myself and I returned to the living room with it, I told you to close your eyes, a surprise was my excuse. Then I made an initial cut in your throat and start moving up and down the knife, so much blood, so much passion was there. After a few months I understood why I did it. After that I realized what I had done and my skin became pallid, I was so scared so I run out of your house, that was my mistake. And then I called the police and, with all the cynicism I could find, told them my situation without mentioning my part in the story, I just told them “I found her dead!”. I regretted for my actions for months and I still regret sometimes because I miss you but my life goes on. I’m not a killer, you know? So I forgot the knife in her house and that is why the suspected of me, the rest of the story is obvious but at last they set me free. Now more than a year has happened, and I still wish to see your face again. Well that’s enough of the story, anyway we both know it. Remember what I told you that day, I told you my feelings about you, I told you that I love you and I still do this day. That’s why I did what I did, to preserve our love, or at least I see it in that way. I hope you’ll someday forgive me like I did with you each time you made a mistake, but I guess I must ask you for that in person. Well, I don’t want to bore you and waste more of your precious time anymore, I hope you’ll enjoying your eternal sleep. With eternal love I must say goodbye, maybe for the last time. Love you to death, I mean it. — DiegoPS. I remember how much you said you liked Romeo and Juliet, and I guess this will end like that, I told you before I was going to ask for your forgiveness in person and that’s what I will do. I hope you wait for me in your sleep ‘cause I’ll join very soon. I seal this letter with a kiss and with the blood that I unfairly stole from you. I have decided to return you that blood, anyway we were both O positive.