A Memory from a Soulless Body

Nobody knows what it’s like to live without a soul
To be floating in cold water barely high enough to breathe
With a brain half full and emotions half empty
Where every thought is forced and no longer free
When every day you live is a blessing
Not because of the chance of death but the choice
It’s just like you’re falling forever, you never stop
The feeling of weightlessness tied to wretched fear
Every second of every day is a reminder of who you aren’t
Feeling like you’re totally naked walking around in public,
vulnerable
Every glance in your direction makes you want to run and hide
But then you remember your camoflouge
your body
If you just smile when you’re supposed to, nobody will notice
When all you want to do is sleep because then you can pretend you don’t live in a nightmare
You almost feel alive again
But then you always wake up to your reminder of who you aren’t
Wondering, within the laws of nature if the major flame can sense your extinguished candle and cause an accident to occur
Or if you’re left alone in your zombie body to eventually go insane where you’ll drool on your shirt for the rest of your life in some hospital
Or you finally never adjust to your situation and take your own life
You feel it so strongly throughout your whole entire body that you’re constantly amazed that people don’t run screaming from fear of your soulless body
And with all of this on your back, you still can’t cry
The only crying you can do is for your family, and this is even half-way forced
You remember who you used to be and hope that others will too because that’s all that’s left……is a memory.