A New World

I have just recently moved to california, I don’t really know many people out here and I am still shy to my new surroundings. Hopefully I can break out of my shell and learn to trust people but I have had bad experiences with trust, I guess it really all started when I was little, about 3 or 4.

The telephone rang and my mom but down her mop to go answer it,
“Hello?” she asked, a few minutes went by and she went pale like she was going to pass out. She answered, “Hes going to do what!? Oh my god,” by this time she was near tears, “Oh my god where do I go, what do I do?” I was curious now and wanted to know who was on the other end.
“Mom who is it?” I asked, she looked at me and i could see tears in her eyes, she bent down and hugged me and whispered,
“Go get you sister, hurry!” I ran across the living room, through the hallway and into my bedroom that I shared with my little sister. She was sitting in the middle of the room holding her stuffed animals and playing with a plastic car. I grabbed her hand and pulled her up and told her to follow me. Just them my mother rushed in with a bag in her hand, grabbed some of our clothes, stuffed them into the bag then picked up my little sister who (still testing with words) was muttering something that I couldnt make out. My mother quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room and then hurried us out of the house and piled ud into the car. She ran back into the house and a few minutes later came back with a bag full of more clothes. My dog Sheba was barking madly as I waved goodbye thinking we were off on another adventure and to return back soon.

A few hours later we arrived at my grandmothers house, my grandparents came rushing out, and i could see tears in grandmas eyes. Why was everyone crying? I wondered to myself as grandpa lifted me out of the car and hugged me closely
“Why is grandma crying?” I asked but grandpa only told me that it was becuase she was so happy to see us, and for about 3 years. Within that amount of time my mother and father got a divorce and whenever I asked why my mother would tell me it was becuase mommy and daddy just couldnt get along. I knew she was lieing, and I wanted the truth and I wanted it now, but no matter how many times I asked I got the same answer. Then about 2 years later my mother finally told me why we had that rush and why she divorced my father.
“That night I was on the phone your fathers dad, he told me that your father was bringing home a gun and was going to shoot us all. Thats why I left in such a hurry and thats why I divorced you father.” Before that day when my mother had recived the phonecall me and my dad would do pretty much everything together, me and him played basketball, we worked on his mustang, he would even play dolls with me. Even though I was only 4 I loved the music he listened to and on the way to the store he would blare the raidio loud and he would sing and teach me the words. I loved my father and I thought he had loved me too, I had trusted him and he had tried to kill me. Since then I have had trouble opening up to people. Maybe it is becuase I am afraid that they will just drop me like dad did after all the good times. I havn’t seen him in 7 years and I miss him so much. Before I moved to CA we were supposed to meet up and I could see him again. This proved that once again he had hurt me. I have his e-mail address and I am scared to e-mail him.

That is just one of the many heartbreaks in my life. And I belive that that is why I have trouble opening up to people, and finding friends.