A SENSLESS DESIRE

I was once told something from an old dying man that I will never forget. At the time I was drunk, and young. Had just stumbled across him in a dimly lit alley one night.

Lying there bleeding with a knife protruding from his chest. He weakly stretched his arm beckoning for me to come closer. Wary of the whole situation I walked and crouched by his side. Immediately becoming startled as he grasped my hand and laid it on his chest. Though I did not move away, I have at least some respect for a dying mans last request. He tried to speak, but instead coughed, slinging blood in my eyes. The only audible word I could catch was ‘fuck’. “Old man,” I began to say as he cut me off with a clearly spoken sentence. “Young man, I have lived a long and terrible life. And learned only one thing, that I cannot let pass away with my last breath.” He coughed again spitting blood all across my new fishnets. Then grabbed me by the shoulders with a strength I could not believe he still had in him. Shook me hard and drew me close, inches from his face. Could smell the heroin on his breath. “This world and life is only what you make of it, believe and what you want will come to bear. . .Believe!” Then convulsed slamming back against the sodden brick wall growling. Pulled his hand to the knife still in his chest and wrenched it free. Grabbed my hand again and laid the blade of the knife there. I’m not sure why but I gripped the blade and as I did so , he pulled it back violently. Leaving deep gashes in my palm. Bleeding almost as badly as his own wound. I jerked back by instinct and he laughed. If he wasn’t already dying I would have killed him then. But before I could act, he reached forward painting a symbol on my forehead in blood. Said something in a language I’ve never heard and spoke in a whisper, “now you have the curse I bore through my own life, child. Use it for good or for ill, but you will still one day die of it. And you. . .” he trailed off convulsing and died in that very second. Not another word or breath ever to escape his scarred lips again.
All of a sudden I realized it was very quiet here. Too quiet for my liking. The only street lamp, shedding what little light was there, flickered twice and went out. Now in total darkness. Total silence and very much alone. Sitting, holding my hand like a wounded animal next to a corpse. The words kept repeating, over and over again in my mind. “What you believe will come to bear, a curse?”
I then snapped out of it thinking that this was not a good place to sit and ponder. So I stood, for five seconds and collapsed. Lightheaded and dizzy from the loss of blood I reached over to a broken broom I had noticed earlier to use as a walking cane. Just needed something to lean on, something to keep me from falling, but I fell again. This time in tears, and desperate. So very desperate.
“You said believe and it will come true, right?” I spoke aloud to the dead man. Sniffing and wiping my nose with the end of my fishnet sleeves. Then all of a sudden there became light in the darkness. A match struck and lifted up to light a cigarette. His grim face the only thing visible, like the face of death itself smoking a camel filter. “Griffin,” he spoke and his entire form became visible as well as my own. The darkness still there, but I could see him clear as day. ‘This is all too damn weird’, I thought to myself.
“Yes, it must seem so,” he laughed a hollow laugh and handed me the lit cigarette, “your going to need it.” Of course, I hadn’t had a smoke in hours so I graciously took it. Puffing madly until it was just a filter and tossed it aside already forgotten.
“Who are you?” I asked, but he ignored my question and held his hand out. So I took it in mine and he lifted me upright effortlessly, the dizziness gone. As well as the pain in my hand. “Odd,” was the only thing I said as he took control of the conversation.
“Griffin, there are things you have yet to learn. Things that only you can learn. By bad timing on your part you came across a dying seer. The last in this world I might add. You have also just changed your now short life more than you could ever imagine. Look at your hands.”
So I did, lifted them, palms up and stared. There were no cuts, only 2 deep scars paralleled across my hands. I was confused. Had no clue as to why this was happening. Then dropped my arms heavily and looked him over. All in black, business suit and slick black hair. He smelled strongly of sulfur.
“What you believe,” he began again, “is what will happen from this point on. You are now a very important token in an ancient war. It spans from all ends of existence and has been played out year after year for millions of millennia. You, Griffin, now hold the opportunity to change reality.” Lowered his voice on the last sentence and stopping for a moment to let me speak.
“You’re fucking crazy, what are you, a skitz from the psych ward or something?! If I can change reality then why the fuck am I still here in this darkness with you? Why am I not standing in the mountains watching sunset like I’ve dreamed so many times before??
And then it happened, and it terrified me. My mind snapped, I was there. The darkness gone and I was standing above a cliff. A beautiful sunset playing across the sky. Could see it all, thousands of feet above sea level. Then, he was there as well, speaking yet again.
“You see?” he laughed, “because of the scars you bear and the mark on your head, given from a dying seer. You have now taken his place. This gift is something you must be careful with though. Every time you use it, they know where you are. And they will be hunting you.” He paused for a second and rolled his eyes, “are you even listening?”
“Its beautiful,” was all I could say, lost in the view around me. The whole of the sky painted red, violet and orange. A slight breeze wafted through my ecstatically spiked hair. Then a massive shadow swept over us. Golden wings reflecting the sun as an eagle flew over and off toward the horizon.
“Yes, Griffin, it is. But you must be careful how you use your mind. Whatever you want, is yours. Though this dream can quickly become a nightmare.” Waved his pale hand across the air and everything changed.
The sun itself exploded and the whole of the sky set aflame. Fire fell from the sky. All the ground below shuddered as it gave way falling upwards into space. A deep shadow crept over everything. Even the ground I stood upon began to melt. The mountain itself erupting like a volcano spreading molten rock across the cliffs.
I screamed, but it wasn’t a scream, it was a sonic boom as if I had broken the sound barrier with my voice. I tried to run but my boots were melting and fused to the ground. Turned my head to him for help but his eyes had gone blood red. “You can make it end, Griffin,” he growled, “all you have to do is believe.”
So I did and it all vanished. My mind snapped again and I was in the void of space. Could see Earth on fire. The sun in pieces as a nova flared toward me. Sreamed again, but there was no sound. No air to breath. So cold as I snapped my mind again.
But this time, I was standing on a pier out by the ocean with my father. Who died long ago. Who was all I had left then. The only one that could understand me, and I began to cry wrapping my arms around him.
“Are you alright?” he asked and ran his thick hands into my hair messing it up.
“I missed you so much, dad,” still crying, stuttering my words.
“Griffin, I was with you all along. I would never leave you until now. That is why I drew you here. This is why I’ve come to say goodbye. You have become someone whom I can no longer protect. I love you. . . .Farewell,” and then he was gone. Just like that, as quickly as he came, he was gone just as fast.
My head thrown back, my arms spread wide. Then screamed a true scream. A darkly beautiful scream straight into the sky. Filled with agony, deceit, loss and love. Fell to my knees, even would have cried if I had any tears left to shed. Instead stared off over the water. This place was very familiar. Then shook my head sending a long tear down my face. Remembering why. This is where he brought me that day five years ago to tell me one thing. To tell me he had less than a week to live. Would not tell me why, but I never saw him again after that day. At least not alive.
And at that moment, staring into the sun on my knees, something inside me snapped. Felt like my soul burst into flame as pure rage overcame me. Had no clue as to why this mess of bullshit and power came into my hands. But in that second I reveled in it. My entire body lifted off the ground in the same pose as jesus on the cross. The entirety of my eyes turned black. . .Then I smiled, for the first time in five years.
With my grin came insanity. So much anger, so much pain that was kept secret for all this time was now free. It consumed me, and I set the ocean to boil. Steam rising like a thick fog to cover all the earth. Sand from the beaches liquefied becoming one solid sheet of glass. The pier rotted and crumbled in a single instant falling into the sea.
Then he was there again. The man in black who’s name I finally knew. As he spoke my mind I glared.
“Now, Griffin, you know my name, but you do not know your own.”
“Lucifer,” I spit the words like poison.
He simply laughed and waved his hand once again. Though this time all he brought was the darkness.
The same darkness we started in. Just the 2 of us standing alone. Him in his black suit smoking a cigarette. Me, garbed in a long leather duster, worn shredded black leather pants, and a sleeveless shirt with boots on. Reached up to put my thin sunglasses on.
He laughed again, but I spoke first, still on my power trip,” So, O’ prince of darkness, what then is my name.” Saying rather sarcastically, at the same time he became serious.
“You seem to be enjoying this way too much. Merely hours ago you were in an alley dying, desperate. I saved you, Griffin. You owe me. Though all I ask in return is your pledge.”
So here I was, standing before Lucifer himself. The king of evil asking me to take his side. ‘Asking’. I thought then realized that he had no control over me. He does not own me, cannot even control me. Slowly an idea crept across my thoughts which amused me.
“What then would you do if I side not with you. Instead chose to side with another?” I asked. Then he growled and replied, “I would then, annihilate you in the very spot you stand.”
He did not scare me anymore. I simply smiled. Which made him take a step back showing weakness. “You cannot though can you, Lucifer? You have no more control over me than the god who cast you from the sky. . .I have made my choice. . .I side with no-one. I will slaughter all of you like cattle. I. . .will. . .own. . .you.”
At this he seemed to have been offended. Maybe even a little pissed, cause all of existence burst into flame as he ran towards me. Drew a long slender blade and went for my heart. Though I expected this. Raised my scarred hand grasping the steel edge to wrench it from his grip. Turned it with speed he thought I did not have and laid the point to rest on his chest.
“I will not end your life here on this day. There are things that need be done first. Answers that need questions. . .I also want to relax for awhile before I start the task of hunting all of you down. Just remember, I will find you. It does not matter that I do not know why. . .why I have acquired this gift or what is to come of it. Though one thing is to be clearly stated. I. . .own. . .you.”
“You are right on one thing, Griffin, this will not be our last meeting. Mayhap you got lucky enough to have put me in this position this time, but do you think your luck will last against all of my legions? I think not, and you expect even to slay God himself?! You are insane. . .”
“So be it,” I spit taking the cigarette from his mouth puffing on it once. Then put it out on his face, “until then, I do not want to see you”
He simply faded off leaving me there, alone again. The blade in my hand began to crumble into dust, blown away by the wind. Back in the alley where it all started. Except now, it was daylight and there were cops everywhere. The old mans corpse had drawn quite a crowd.
“Son, what are you doing here, this is a restricted area. Can’t you see the police lines set up?” One of the cops said startled by my appearance out of no-where. I just smiled again, figuring that I’d be doing a lot of it in the future, and hit him in the chest giving him a heart attack. Then faked because no-one else saw it, “Hey, officer! Help! This man is having a heart attack!” So of course they all hurried over and forgot that I was there. Good, that’s what I wanted. Seeing as now, walking down the ally where I came from, I’m on my way to London. I want to re-enact a childs’ song I heard when I was a kid. The tune now stuck in my head, humming it as I pass unnoticed through the crowd. “London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. . . . .”

(Yes, this is a very warped story, it has no moral and no reason for even being written.)

By CheshireGriffinx

What you want to know. . .just ask.