I’ve been stuck in a rut lately as to where to go with my life and how to get there. Many of my friends have been in this spot also lately (maybe it’s just the time on year?!?!) I’m 17 and a junior in high school. I haven’t a clue what to do once I get out.
Another rut I’ve been stuck in is one of Love. I’ve been with this person for almost a year now and the relationship has been bliss and hell at times. Lately though there has been nothing but fighting and it’s tearing me apart. We both want to be happy and in love again, but there’s just something’s that we can’t see eye to eye right now and they seem to be subjects that mean a lot to one person and nothing to the other. I’ve done everything I can just to make things a bit better, but things aren’t much better. I love him more than anything and I’ll do almost anything to keep this relationship, but the way things seem to be going, I’m not sure how long this is going to last. We both want to be happy with each other, but we don’t know what to do.
I’ve also come to this realization that I no longer view the world as I used to (it’s extremely hard to explain). And just recently I haven’t been able to deal with groups of people, I start shaking and getting nervous and I’ve never had this problem until this year. Life for me is changing at an unbelievable rate and everything is deteriorating.
This all sounds so familiar to me.
Let me tell you, im 25 and things are still the same.
About the group hysteria, as I call it, I dont know if its an actual disorder. For what I’ve seen and suffered from myself, the symtoms seem to be: You enjoy the company of a large massing together. Yet once surrounded by the group, you flip out, and the main idea that runs through your head is “i must get out”. You take whatever means possible to get the hell out of there.
My first experience of this was at a “Dead or Alive” concert when they were at Dome nightclub here in Melbourne. I had to “human domino” to get myself out. I still suffer from it, but I’m trying to work myself around it.
Good luck. I know its hard, but I think if we keep on at this it’ll eventually be overcome!
You’re only seventeen? Don’t try to decide now where you want to go with your life. Spend a few years figuring out who you are and what you like first. Until you’re in your mid to late twenties it’ll keep changing anyway.
Re: the girlfriend. Have you considered opening up the relationship? Maybe the two of you need to sow wild oats and relax on the commitment thing. Why settle down now?
I’m drunk. My mistake.