Alone forever

I suppose I make everyone worry. is that why i am alone? i am always kind, i am always quiet but i suppose my loneliness is something i have gotten used to. Everyone picks on me… especially that goth clique. Jocks and goths are the same to me. I have already tried to kill myself a few times… but i realized i just might go to hell if i die… killing myself is not an option, at least not until i see them suffer. i do not care how much i suffer just as long as i see them in pain too. what about the people that say they love me? liars… they just want to use me more. i feel good knowing that no one will accompany me where i go… because i am to used to being alone. i love that when i die, no one will notice. That makes me disposable and that also makes me feel good that i am just a pawn of life… most would get depressed, but i feel it is a strength in it self. Let your loneliness caress you and you will no longer feel alone.I used to do so many things for friendship… now i get sick seeing anyone who does just that.
i never lie because i have no need to. i also feel others loneliness and sometimes i pity because they fail to see how i can be so lone. no matter how hard i try… to explain… does not matter. I will see so many in pain because they have no companionship… and i am sorry for your sadness but some of us just deserve to be alone.