The city I live in is full of people of mixed ethnicity, people from all walks of life. Everybody has a story to tell; though not everyone wants to tell theirs…..but I want to tell mine.
I was at one point in time, completely human as it was how I was born. But as a human I was always drawn to the occult and vampire lore, until one night while I was walking home I was jumped by a group of strange looking people. My injuries were so severe I went comatose and didn’t emerge until a month and a half later, surfacing back into the world I loathed. Nothing was the same after that the kind, compassionate person I once was died after I went into a coma. Not knowing about the “changes” I was going through people thought I was insane…..maybe I had been…..at one point…..sometime long ago…..before I died. I wasn’t in a coma as I had once thought……I was dead, dead as dead can be, though the parasite in me kept my body functioning to sustain itself. I’m thankful for that night though, because I no longer fear……im feared. I remember being told by some guy that i would turn back to who i once was if i killed the one who turned me from the light, butby the time he told me this i was already different and i never looked for him. So many now i’ve lost count, my dolls have become an object of mass controversy, as have I “the doll maker”. I remember my first, it was such a mess but it provoked and intimidated so I kept doing it. The pensioner who would have died soon if I hadn’t released him. I found him sitting on a park bench at two in the morning feeding invisible pigeons. Pitying him I smashed open his head on the cold, unforgiving concrete ground then something took over and I mangled his body into a bloody mess. At first it was only those I felt sorry for (maybe because there were still some human emotions left) then my blood thirst would kick in and I would feed on my dolls, now I never feed on them(they are like I leave them) I feed on some unsuspecting passer by instead. Outside of my mill, a flock of howling, hooting drunkards shattered my chain of thought, if I attacked them I would run the risk of being caught. They soon moved on, probably to increase their level of intoxication. My family are alive and well they think i’m dead (I ran from the cadaver tray I woke up on) but I got away in case I hurt them. My father was a chef, my mother is dead (she hung herself when we lived in a slum (my father went on a binge with the last of the money we had and she had had enough) I remember crying at her feet and no-one came to help me for three days) I had a brother but I don’t know what happened to him (he ran away from home when our mother died). Every new night made my depression tighten its grip, strangling me suicidal (one of the few human traits I have left). Sitting in solitaire was doing me no good so I picked myself up, collected some tools and left to find prey. In the centre of the city was a tenement block tearing the sky in its immensity, an excellent point to watch everything go about its everyday life. On my way there, I found it interesting just watching the humans, they’re totally oblivious to everything. They truly are the backward race. In no time at all I was at the top of the skyscraper observing the stars in the sky like they were track marks in the arms of a junkie. I used to come here as a child, i’ve lived in this city my whole existence. When I was a child, I would come here…it would bring me comfort just sitting here, high above whoever and whatever. I was miserable as a teen, I gave so much to people and when I wanted a listening ear or a pair of open arms, I got nothing. Not one single solitary second of their insidious lives. Far beyond my seat in the sky was a house, small but well lit then like a wave over my body a rush of de ja vu and nostalgia both at once (probably some memory my human side had stubbornly held on to) whatever it was there were potential dolls inside that house…..so I went. As I arrived the wave of nostalgia washed over me again, knocking me to the ground in a tsunami of flashbacks and black & white memories. I felt like my skull was about to crack open any second so I crept to the door of the house and blacked out against it. Nightmares of a past i once inhabited followed. I came to in a room full of people but my eyes didnt seem to focus. I could hear voices, voices i knew and recognised.
“Its him”
“Hes dead you know that”
“he was never dead, his body went missing”
“We’ll have to wait til he comes to”
“okay”
I blacked out again. in the short space between blacking out, waking up and blacking out again i realised where i was and it terrified me. Time was lost in my slumber but i know i woke up after ten. I surfaced from my sleep in a place i knew before. I knew this place well but not at all, i had been here before but how? the room was engulfed in darkness and there was someone in the kitchen so i went to investigate and found a woman i didnt recognise in there making food. “James come quickly hes up!” before i could lunge for her someone i knew came down the stairs and put his hand on my shoulder “You came back” he said but i stood in silence.
“Dont you remember me?”
“I do but i wish i didnt!”
“Why ever not?”
“Im not your son anymore”
Silence fell once more in a shock. The look on their faces was magnificent this was far more than physical pain this was mentally scarring. “Im going to my bed” he said but it hurt me to know i had hurt my father. i felt nauseous and ran to the back porch to vomit. Everyone was in bed but know there was no-one awake it felt just like any other house….full of potential dolls. In a way I already knew what was going to happen but a part of me just wanted to torture the human traits left in my corpse. I still knew my way around this house almost like i had only left for groceries, i knew where everything was, where everyone was. But who first? i thought for a while and decided on the one i did not yet, nor would i ever know…..the replacement family member. She was in the room with the one who called himself my father, so i waited for him to get up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night like he always did…..and he did, eventually. He always spent at least half an hour in the toilet which gave me approximately that amount of time to “convert” the woman, i crept into the room hiding in the plentiful shadows and watched her sleep for the eternity in a split-second. She slept like a baby, so quiet and peaceful. I woke her up by tickling her neck but in the while it took for her to focus her eyes i pulled a garotte from my pocket, wrapped it round her neck and pulled it so tight it restricted her breathing. Firstly she went blue around the mouth and her eyes bulged slightly, even from where my hands were i could still feel her heart beat faster and faster and i could her her desperately trying to get oxygen, failing miserably. Her heart stopped suddenly and she went limp like a rag-doll, i unwound the wire from her neck wound it up and slipped it back in my pocket removing a pair of pliers as i took my hand out. Opening up her mouth i reached in and removed her teeth from her head carefully placing them under her pillow, then i plucked her eyes from her head and put them in her mouth staring outwards. There was blood, lots of it and before i had a chance to do anything else i heard the bathroom locking click open and i rushed behind the door to await the father figures arrival. When i lumbered in he didnt seem to notice the gift i left him in the bed he meerly climbed in and fell asleep. “Stupid old fool” i shouted to arouse him, he woke with a start and shouted displeased figures of speech at me but i simply informed him of his loss until he realised what i meant. First and foremost the tears set in and then he clicked…..i had done this wrong to him and he drew his gun from his bedside pillow and pointed at me.
“You bastard, you’re no son of mine.”
“This i know you idiot i informed you of this on my arrival”
“Leave here now!!”
“MaKe Me!!”I screamed
With those final words he pulled the trigger and sent burning lead flying into my shoulder, i fell to the floor in agony. He got out of his bed to check that i was dead, upon reaching me i stood up and looked him square in the eyes
“You would shoot your own son, your own flesh and blood?!?!”
He dropped the gun and the tears welled up again
“im sorry, im sorry…..”
“no your not”
“I AM!” he cried
“i dont believe you”
He fell to is knees and cradled his head in his hands. Now he was at his weakest point, i opened my jacket took out my flair gun and threw the jacket over him. He looked up at me with his big sorrow filled eyes, i put the gun to his chest and pulled the trigger unleashing something far more painful than a bullet into his chest and i ran out of the room before it could detonate. A large BOOM filled the air as i crouched in the hallway with my hands over my head. As i stood up to observe the damage i noticed from the corner of my eye another person the same age as me. I turned to look at this person and realised i was looking straight at my brother
“Dont worry I’ll make this one quick.”
I ran at him with a syringe full of bleach, but just before i reached him he stuck out his hands
“Stop!”
I stopped
“Hear me out.” he blurted
“youve got less than five minutes”
“I made you who you or what are now, those people who jumped you were my friends I bit you, I turned you from the light. I didnt know it was you at the time, you were just the first person that happened to cross me when i was hungry, bad coincidence huh?”
I couldnt believe what i was hearing
“YOU WHAT?!?!?!?”
“I turned you”
“Give me a reason why i shouldnt rip the meat from your bones?
“I gave you eternity in the palm of your hand”
“unintentionaly!”
Before he could say one more word i jammed the needle in his neck and pumped bleach into his blood stream. He fitted and fell on his face. I dragged him to the top of the stairs and pulled out a meat cleaver, he was soundly unconcious with no realisation of what i was about to do to him, something i had surprisingly not done before and brought the cleaver down heavily on his neck severing his head and tossing it down the stairs. All of a sudden i felt like i was filled with a bright white light and i felt like i was being cured of some disease. I rose to my feet and was human again my shoulder wounds burned and bled and outside sirens bayed for my blood, i still had fresh memories of all i had done all the evil and the hatred i had brought uon my family…..this was just too much for me to deal with in this life…..i was alone now and would be forever…..if only my mother was with me. There was only one solution i knew of to this dilemna, i had to release the essence of life clinging to my body. Downstairs was a door into the garage and inside that garage there would more than likely be the ingredients for something special, so i went. The garage was dark and i wouldnt be long before the facists arrived so i had to work quickly. I found a bottle and filled it with parrafin then i ripped a piece of cloth from my arm and stuffed it in, i made two more and tied them all together and paced into the living room; the place of my rebirth now to be the place of my death. I lit the rags and tossed the bottles to the ground letting the flames engulf me and chase my soul from my body. It was all over, they would burn with me and now the souls of those i had murdered could rest in peace at last. Until the next life, goodbye