angel of nightmares

death A pain i had never felt before was taking over my body i had no idea he would leave me so soon walking around the rain is beginning to wet my top i dont care the night sparkled which on any other night i would have stopped and marveled at but not tonight no sitting on the nearest bench putting my head in my hands i cried not caring who heard or saw i cried and i cried the darkness became my blanket but it was not a comforting one my newly dyed hair was beginning to run matching my makeup they said he didnt have long but that was a month ago why now someone tell me what about you up there any answers……no i thought not well its just like you to take some one for no reason he was a good person he never did anything wrong now im alone with her AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!!!!!!!! as i walked home i realised what i saw laid on that bed will haunt me for the rest of my life i walked into the house and went straight upstairs to my room and put on what ever was in my cd player its turns out to be disturbed down with the sickness i dive to change the track and odd change straight to hallejuiah by jeff buckley sitting on my bed i begin to cry again turning to lay on my bed i leave the song on repeat and cry myself to sleep i was right his face is walking around in my dreams with her laughing at me i know she had some thing to do with it i wake because i feel someone sit on my bed it was him smiling he looked well again he told me to tell her that he was dead and that it wasnt her fault even though he knew i would still blame her he held me in his arms until i stopped crying waking up with i start she was stood over me staring at me red in the face WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU LITTLE SLAG!!!!? DID YOU NOT THINK I WASNT GOING TO FIND OUT HES MY FUCKING HUSBAND!! i didnt know what was going on until she hit me she hit me with such a force i flew into the wall WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME I WANT AN ANSWER!!! she screamed so i shouted back THEY TOLD ME NOT TO TELL YOU SO DID HE HE SAID NOT TO TELL YOU SO YOU COULD FIND OUT FROM THE HOSPITAL! i was lying i hoped he would forgive me for that but i didnt want her to hit me again i began to lose my confidence as she set herself up to hit me again please dont hit me again please i begged of her but i still felt the force of her fist on the less this time when my head made contact with the wall it bled running out i grabbed my coat and bag
i stayed with a friend until the funeral my face was till bruised and i had a scab were my head had bled she glared at me all the way through it when everyone had gone i laid on his grave and cried out of my bag i pulled a razor i pushed it into my skin until the blood passed my arm and was dripping on the mud underneath me i did it again on my other arm it didnt hurt in my blood on his grave stone i wrote while i was still consious i love and please forgive for all what i have done in my lifetime then the darkness became my blanket once more i saw him beconing me towards the light i shook my head i did not deserve it i waited for the ground to spilt as it did i saw him cry into the firey gates of hell i wandered and i shall wander there for all etenity for what i have done!