(this is one my first writings, it doesnt really say much, just a love story, i know i suck at writing but hell i at least try, tell me if i should fix some things up or add more)
i am a teenage disaster. my whole life ive hidden myself from everyone, never talking to anyone and very seldom would exchange a few words with my parents. i never had any friends, just a few socials. i never trusted anyone from the moment i was born and never felt like anyone would ever be there for me. i was suicidal for most of my life. i’ve always felt abandoned, worthless and cold…until i met someone. she gave me everything i needed. she touched me and i was happy for once in my pathetic life. i was truly in love with her and from what i could see and what she told me, she was truly in love with me..but what i was seeing wasnt real, she was putting on a mask the whole time. she made me feel like she was the one for me, my perfect person, the one i wanted to be with forever. i devoted my life to her and she knew it, but through our whole relationship, there were others in her eyes. i started suspecting things, but i figured it was just me and that i have to get used to trusting someone for once. it turned out my instincts were right. she ripped my heart and soul out. my past was coming back. i no longer felt the warmth i once felt from her. as the blood pooled in my hands i saw her beautiful innocent face looking up at me. i couldnt take what i did, i couldnt face my past coming back, it was just too much horror for me. i lived for her before and i continued to live for her because there was something about her that wasnt fake, something no one else had. she was my gaurdian angel. she has my life and will always have my heart. today i am still traumatized by what she did to me, i still feel abandoned, worthless and cold but if you cut my chest open you’ll see happiness.
nice very nice. i like it alot. i can completely relate to it. keep writing
hey i like it. mostly because its sorta like something that happened to me; with my boyfriend. only thing different was i wasn’t sucidal before going outwith him. but after i felt like killing myself cause i thought i couldn’t live without him. i wanted to. i really did but i couldn’t hurt myself. i am still trying to not love him after a year and a half. i am sorry this happened to you. keep writing. your good.
I think you call it desmomila that keeps you always…
yours,
vel
umm.. u said this was a story u started? itz a good start. i like ur choice of words. but how can u find happiness in knowing someone u love, doesn’t feel that way about u? i can’t find happiness in any part of me. maybe grateful for a couple of things, but they’re, sometimes, the reason why i’m suicidal. well keep writing. itz a good start.
I enjoyed. Of course, as most people will, I can relate, but in somewhat of a different way. To this person, I caused all the pain, I ripped his heart out, and somehow, I think that is worse than having it done to you. How can one destroy a heart, the most precious gift you can give?
Even though I punished myself for what I did for close to 3 years, I too, still had an ounce of happiness located within me. That happiness comes from he/she that gave you a chance; he/she who revealed themselves to you for however long, allowing you to have their love for however long or short they wish. Knowing that this person gave you their heart keeps that small amount of happiness within you.
Obviously, ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Your writing provoked thoughts from me. Tis hard to come across a piece of writing that does so. That also means it is written well and touches upon a subject that not many do. I thank you for that, and as for some pointer’s that you wanted… well, I can’t really give you any, because your grammar was correct, and all that technical stuff was fine (Capitalize I’s :P) I tend to use more fancy and outdated words, but if I were to push that upon you, that wouldn’t be your style. So in other words, that was written quite well. Keep it up!
-Tiana White
I like it, and I can relate. Keep writing!
Great. Honestly.
It’s like you’ve summed me up in a paraghraph; the pain you feel is the pain I still feel too.
Really touching; I trully loved it..!!
The Witches Chant
Darksome night and shining Moon,
Hearken to the witches’ rune.
East then south, west then north,
Hear! Come! I call Thee forth!
By all the powers of land and sea,
Be obedient unto me.
Wand and Pentacle and Swaord,
Hearken ye unto my word.
Cords and Censer, Scourge and Knife,
Waken all ye into life.
Powers of the witch’s Blade,
Come ye as the charge is made.
Queen of Heaven, Queen of Hell,
Send your aid unto the spell.
Horned Hunter of the night,
Work my will by magic rite.
By all the powers of land and sea,
As I do say, “so mote it be.”
By all the might of moon and sun,
As I do will, it shall be done.
-The Grimoire of Lady Sheba
maybe a nice chant will do the trick.
It was touching. SOme people in this world are just cruel – you mentioned “her innocent face”, try to remember that no one is innocent in this guilty world. Everyone is as bad as each other. It’s hard to get over something like that, but as they say – time heals, and speaking from personal experience it certainly does! Keep your head up,
Vixodus
xxx
my whole life also has been filled with saddness and pain but i to found love but im lucky enough to have her and not even worry about her leaving me bacuse she has proven to me that she will never leave and if i leave it would kill her but i would never do that to her but i have felt loss before many times before and it is the worst pain in world but hurting some one can be even worse if you have a personality like myself its good keep it up
Hey
I am one of those people like you exsept I have had plenty of boys that made me feel loved like I was someone then they turn there backs and find someone else and I go back to being a freak to everyone and I feel so alone my friends even quit talk to me I hurt so deep inside and its like no ones there to help pull me out. Suicide has been one of my options but every time im about to someone pops up and it starts all over again. This time I found a resaloution go back to my past and I will not have to worry about being hurt.
hey deb well I kow how u feel…cuz im grateful for a few things…otherwise im suicidal.But yeah I dont see how you can be happy lovong someone when they dont love you.
MorbidKitty:
Well honestly I cannot say I know what your feeling.Your experience has never happened to me…but for almost 2 years I’ve been constantly suidcidal.I think i’ve found the ‘one’…but you can never be sure.Maye i’ll end up getting hurt liek you…but you have to realize this worlds full of bitches so ***** them all.That girl that hurt you was never good enough for you.You will find someone…and Its a ***** hearing this but you gotta move on,lifes the biggest ***** of them all.
`~*-B r o K e N-*~`
really, I was moved by your story. you can very well portray and put yourself on the subject. since it was one of your first writings..my verdict is that it was great! fascinating.. write more, coz i wanna read more. last glimpse: i can feel the burden in every word that was written..
Valentine010. Wishes for you to lead him into tyhe veil of darkness which surrounds his world.