Author: TheCheezman

To satirize a lousy movie isn’t as easy as you might think. In fact, to do it properly is challenging. Horror satire in itself is difficult to pull off. For every BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON and ZOMBEAVERS out there, there is, well, a SCARY MOVIE, a film so bad, and not… Continue reading Movie Review: SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE 2021

I wrote about my recent (re)viewing of the 1984 David Lynch film adaptation of the Frank Herbert novel over at our sister site VAMPIRES.COM due to the vampiric tendencies of Baron Harkonnen displayed therein. The Baron Harkonnen in this new film, portrayed by the always masterful Stellan Skarsgard, is fatter; equally disgusting, just in a… Continue reading Movie Review: DUNE

This one critic apparently didn’t like that people were making fun of him after he made the stupid comment that the original HALLOWEEN was just a ripoff of the original THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. It bothered him so much that he wrote this big diatribe about it. What he’s doing here can be seen either… Continue reading Doubling Down on Dumbassery

If any of you were waiting on official reassurance, we now have it. It’s okay this year to celebrate Halloween. At least Dr. Fauci, the all-wise guru of all things Covidy and pandemicy, says that letting your kids go trick-or-treating is safe. “This is a time that children love. It’s a very important part of… Continue reading Fauci okays Halloween

To quote Jason Momoa as Aquaman: “This is gonna be fun!” Yes, the series is off to a great start. A punchy script and mostly solid acting (solid from all the principal players) support a narrative loaded with characters you mostly hate and want Chucky to kill. (Sadly the homicidal little monster only takes out… Continue reading TV Review: CHUCKY Premiere Episode: DEATH BY MISADVENTURE

Talk about a lurid headline. “Nuns Raped Girls With Crucifixes as Female Pedophilia Was Covered Up by the Church”. Ugh. Let me state this as clearly and succinctly as possible. Sexual abuse of children is horrific, and it’s even worse when it’s committed by someone who is supposed to be in a position to protect… Continue reading They Did *What* With That Crucifix?!

People who claim to be knowledgeable about such things predicted VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE would make, at most, about 70 million bucks. It brought in over $90 million, blowing past their most optimistic projections by 20 million. That’s not just exceeding expectations. That’s blowing those expectations right out of the water. Venom and Carnage… Continue reading VENOM Slams Deltarona

Slam. Dunk. This film is perfect. Even the parts that have been labelled “sloppy” by the Normie critics are a part of the movie’s overall charm. It’s big, it’s loud, it’s frenetic, and most of all it’s fun. Unabashedly, enthusiastically fun. And funny. My sides ached from laughing. That’s not to say the movie doesn’t… Continue reading Movie Review: VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE

First off, because this could be a major criticism otherwise, if viewers end up feeling duped, as a lot of folks did after the movie THE FOURTH KIND came out purporting to be a true story, a documentary even, and it was all phony, I should clarify that the new series from the History Channel,… Continue reading TV Review: PROJECT BLUE BOOK

More toys! Oh the wonderful, wonderful toys! I have previously reported on how NECA and SH MonsterArts will be releasing toys and other merchandise based on the forthcoming GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS. Now comes news that Jakks Pacific will also be making some toys, and of the three the latter will be the more… Continue reading More Godzilla Merch, More Predator Fumbles