hallucinations like a drug
deep understanding of everything with misunderstanding of nothing
sex-screams-nudity-symbols-sound-space
the need to find someone who can understand
underlying fear of everything that is absolutely nothing
nothing exists
figment of my imaginations
everything being where it is without being where it is
or where it’s supposed to be
nothing happens
nothing-everything-breakdown-feelings
strange feelings of nothingness
cotton balls with blood from the pain of the
heart’s fingernails beating against a purple painted background
just writing
nothing is everything to the one who has nothing
everything being something in the eyes of nothing
with a feeling of meaning
in a world full of free nothingness
the brightness of dark in the trees planted in the sky
clouds of smoke from a pipe not filled with legal things
feelings-reality
strange sense of everything that was
the feeling of presences in the room
strange noises of cats breaking windows
life is perception
nothing is real but percieved by the mind when it has
nothing to see
walking through villages of nothing nowhere
not being seen by no one
but seen by everyone who isn’t
being without anyone
needing someone
something
wanting something when nothing is to exist
yet nothing is better than
something
think about nothing
everything-something-explosion
invoking thoughts of nothing
yet everything seems to fit together
understanding the reality of nothing that is everything
the number of someone who can understand
a different level
levels of nothing
but seen as everything in a world where only one level
really exists
thinking out of dimension
thinking of nothing for something of everything in nothing
please-thank you-nothing-goodbye-tomorrow-sleep-never
love
not feeling it
yet it is there
i cannot control this
it controls me
i do not mean to make you mad or anything else
i do not want to make you anything
you are you
and i am i
and that is it
beyond that i am not saying anything
you should come here
the place where i am
inside myself
feeling of nothing that appears to be everything
love
loving everything
yet hating everything
loving everyone
hating it all
sadness is sad
but happiness is glad
why?
existance of nothing
i dont’ know what i am saying to you
i know what i am saying
but i don’t quite know how you are taking it
and it can be well misunderstood
the level of existance does not exist
on the levels of non-existance
yet all is one level
love is not love
nothing becomes everything to someone
who is no one in a world full of no ones
normality is the problem
this is how the human mind is meant
it cannot be stopped
but by artificial things that stop the level of humanity
on the level of the inhuman
same level
yet percieved and thought of as different
nothing is everything and no one is everyone
someone needs to see the light
i am not quiet
i just don’t know what to say
i say it all but dont’ know if anyone hears
and if they hear
if they understand that i don’t understand
i want you to listen
to open
to not only listen to what i am saying
to hear-to see-to feel-exactly-nothing
you have to see that nothing is everything
i want you to be here
i wish you were here
i need you to be here
this work is for nothing
i have told myself this before
i existed before you
i knew before you
yet i did not feel
this is something i must do
something i know what you are saying
i type a response before you ask
before you say
don’t know where to begin to explain
i don’t need to explain
time is not time
time does not exist on the level of existense
yet on the level of non-existance
everything has time and acts like time runs
everything
informing nothing to no one
feelings
the touch of your fingers running on my skin
feeling like not feeling
into my body these feelings go
breaking all barriers
changing the thought of nothing in my mind
when everything is so strange it hurts
when does it end?
does it end?
did it begin?
where has the feeling gone?
where does this go?
and where has it been?
why am i happy?
i should be sad
but happiness is glad
and sadness is sad
yet i am glad
but not happy
i need
i need something
i need
SOMEONE?
is that it?
do i need someone?
but i have myself
myself is only who i feel i am
i do not feel i am
like you are bringing thoughts into my head
and i thank you
who are you?
you are only who i feel you are
why do you exist?
do you exist?
do you feel i am the way i feel?
do i feel the way you feel you are?
strange-music-heart
why did i not sense this before?
you are the one
not the one-but the one
the one that is more than one
yet is no one
no one in your way of being the one
even though he is everyone
to see-to feel-to taste-to hear-to think
don’t be at all
this is something new
something i must embrace and feel
i must think that i feel what i am
you know it
but there is nothing
what you are being sorry for is something
that is made up in my head
nothing exists to anyone
but to the people that exist
and i do not exist
yet i do in the minds of other people
no regrets
i do not regret anything i have done with you
or as a result of being with you
i may say that i did regret cutting my hair
yet it brought the sense of a new life
of being someone who i am
and not who i think i am
believe it
existance is something that doesn’t
you know
yet you don’t
fire-everything is a fire
burning in existance of the mind of the only ones who exist
who see existance
a result of existance
everything burns a place in the mind of the ones who exist
who feel-who think
to be burnt is something that everyone does
to be burnt is natural
natural is being burnt
fire is natural
nature is nothing
do you see this?
you understand this?
before doesn’t exist
now is everything
the past is everything
now quickly becomes the past
the futures will soon become the past
yet now is everything
now is not the past
but the past is now
i am sorry
and don’t say that i shouldn’t be because i am
i wish i could have understood
i would have understood
i am not sure
but i think i am getting there
but there is not here
soon
time will come
you have said this before
i am sorry
not listening is something human
and humans were meant to think like this
what is a human?
someone who has discovered his or her self
to the point of nothing
to the point where everything in their life has become nothing
and nothing in their life has become everything
yet there is something in their life that
keeps them living
love
love exists only as it does not exist
i love you
you love me
what?
that doesn’t seem to work
everything loves every human
and every human loves everything
people do not love anything
and nothing loves people
i want to say that i love you
but i dont’ think it is appropriate
i do not understand love
and i can only say that i have seen you
i have heard you
i have felt you
i have tasted you
and i think of you constantly
yet is that love?
i do not know
i feel you
that is all i know
i sense you
it is not about what i want you to say
i do want you to say something
i want you to say what you think
what you think
no matter how insane you think it might be
if you think you just wanna hit me for not saying
or if you wanna never see what i don’t see
myself
just tell me what you think
we do not see ourselves
we see mirror images that we percieve to be what we are
but we aren’t really
no one is
we are what we aren’t
that is everything
but we are also nothing
just sitting on this level with feelings of the other levels
being tired
having to urinate
but it isn’t real
you shouldn’t cry
maybe you should
it’s your mind
you do what you want
but your mind is something that you perceive
nothing is real
nothing exists
and sleep won’t help
i don’t understand what i am feeling
i feel i want to be a part of you
but i dont’ really want to
i want to be a part of my life
yet that doesn’t happen because my life is only what other people see of me
what i really want is to know
why?
that is what everyone really wants
life doesn’t exist
existance has no life
my fingers keep moving
i do not believe i have typed this much
i am typing what i am thinking
and it goes round and round
i think what i am typing
you have to see what i am seeing
sweet dreams
we can only hope for sweet dreams
what we see in our minds are what we dream
what we dream is what we see in our minds
dreaming is seeing that which we do not see
seeing is not dreaming
but believing in those dreams which we do not truly see
the end for tonight
hopefully i will see
or experience you tomorrow