Being An Outcast

I have been an outcast my entire and unlike a lot you, I have not enjoyed being different. I had a terrible inferiority complex because I believed the lies of those little bastards and I learned to hate myself. In school I was the guy nobody talked to or even looked at for that matter. I always sent out these vibes, don’t fuck with me. I just wanted to be invisible and have everyone leave me alone. I would sit at my desk in class and not say a word to anyone, ever. Imagine doing this for six years and you might begin to know the nightmare that was my adolescence. I didn’t belong to any clique, I had maybe one friend. I figured if anyone gave me attention it was going to be negative so I avoided everyone for six years all the way through junior high and high school. I could not stand the jocks, they made me sick to my stomach. They were so stuck on themselves. I hated people like that who thought they were so superior to everyone else. These kind of people were really the weakest people of all because they depended on everyone else to feel good about themselves, take away their money, their good looks, their popularity and they would have nothing, they would probably kill themselves. People who need other people to feel good about themselves truly have no inner strength, it does not matter what anyone thinks of you. What matters most is that you know and love yourself for who you are. I am not Goth, you would not believe me if I told you what I was, but I can totally relate to being an outcast. These people made me feel so shitty about myself that I literally felt as if I had no right to live on this planet. I had the lowest damn self esteem you can imagine and I hated myself and everyone else too. God, I still have nightmares 20 years later about these punks terrorizing me. There is nothing wrong with being different, who says the in crowd can dictate who is better or worse? After highschool most of them were probably lost anyway. Celebrate you uniqueness!