Breaking Down the Wall

I can still see her in my mind. Almost as if she were still alive.

When I was younger, I used to be happy. Then one day my world caved in. My dad left us, my mom and me; mom started working two jobs and we moved three states away. You’d think that being the only child, I would get all the attention I wanted. But mom decided booze was more important than me.

For a while, after we moved, I had a few friends, but I realized how fake they were. Not at first, but gradually. I started to notice how they only talked to me when they wanted to complain, or borrow something. I am a smart girl and they usually ask for my notes or the answers for a homework assignment. Once I realized this, I was torn apart. Why were they like that? Why did they have to pretend?

I fell in love once, too. He was handsome and kind… or so I thought. He used me and then cheated on me. I was crushed when I found out that I was just a bet.

I turned inward for a while. I started slitting my wrists in hopes that someone would notice. Nobody did. Mom was too drunk to notice the way her boyfriends looked at me. Whenever she passed out drunk…they came for me.

I guess I’m explaining all this to you because I have a dilemma. There’s this really nice guy. He’s a goth and has problems somewhat like mine. He’s asked me out several times and I always tell him no. I’m so worried that if I let him in, he’ll break my heart. I don’t think that I could go through another heartache. I’ve built the wall up for so long… Can I really tear it down?

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A WORK OF PURE FICTION!!!

17 comments

  1. I thank you for putting up the disclaimer notice…for your own sake. Heheheh…
    *goes off somewhere to think morbid thoughts*

  2. well, people got so upset at the last one, i didn’t really want it in there, but i didn’t want so many concerned as to my well-being when i’m absolutely fine.

    for humor’s sake, if it were true, what should she do?

  3. She should use her super intelligence to construct her own lightsaber then FUCKING KILL EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

    After that she can challenge a Karate expert to a fight. As soon as he leaps toward her she shoots him with a high powered rifle. BOO YA

  4. I’m sorry Mourning i’m just really hyper and I act stupid as fucking hell when i’m hyper.

  5. it’s okay, i thought it was really funny. the content was a funny as it wasn’t exactly the reply i expected from you.

  6. If you persist then true it is. You are welcome for the amusement I have bestowed upon thee.

  7. um pretty deep character….so much so that im willing to bet someone here who reads that might be able to identify to the girl closely….theres that question ive always heard….”Is it better to have loved and lost then never loved at all?” kind of close to what shes asking, sorta….I dont think ive ever been in real love so i dont know but i would tell her to never stop trying, never stop ………

  8. Yeah!!! A metal bullwhip with eletricity flowing through it. She can wrap it around people and shock the shit out of them. YEAH!!!!

  9. If it were a choice… it’s better to have NEVER loved.

    I’d rather it. Love has broken me in ways I never thought possible. Everyday it tears at you. “I could have been with that person. S/he made me so happy. Why does it have to be like this?”

    Being loveless would have made my current situation easier.

    *toX*

  10. ah, but then you have that nagging question of what if i had let someone in…

  11. I have only let one person in my life inside me. Only one because I trusted him enough. And I thought that maybe he might be my true friend.

    Well, I was wrong. I never thought about surrendering myself to anyone before him. And I doubt that I ever would have had I not met him.

  12. c’est la vie or however you spell it. sometimes we have to learn the hard way.

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