She checked the time at which the e-mail was sent into her box … then reflected what she was doing while he wrote:

“Sorry, Polly, but I can’t talk to you anymore. I need support and not critisism. I am sorry you think I am a liar.

Always Ill (and always truthful),


At the very moment the note was written she was tightly warped in plastic wrap, dripping with sweat, heart pumping louder then her ears could take it, screaming, throwing people out of her way, picking up others, makeup drooling from her eyes, white hair whipped back.
She ran to the stage and screamed into the mic. “Hey! I’m all right! everything is good, the way it should be! misunderstood”

While this poor soul, too weak to free himself from the grasps of smack, too shallow to take criticism, and too strung out to make up believable stories…. Wrote to her.

After the set she walked around the corner to talk about things that made her mind adrift. The politics of relationships, the relativity of conflict, the greatness of cigarettes.

she thought about that night as she read those words. “Sorry, Polly, but I can’t talk to you anymore. I need support and not critisism. I am sorry you think I am a liar. ”

Somebody trying to cover up their tracks, somebody trying to make themselves out to be greater then they actually are. So sad, so awful. He truly has the heroin whine.

Two things she hates most, liars, and whiners … wow. Out of the millions of e-mails she hates to get and she engages in exchanging with just one person, she finds a lying whiner. And people wonder why she goes missing for days on end.

People are strange. When they think that you trust them they must go and try to impress. why would you do that? Why would you ever pull that?
Why not just become that kid that never talks?
Wouldn’t that make more sense?

I go to NA meetings, often. And I hate most of those people cause they whine and complain about silly bullshit, I find myself often fantasizing cutting them off mid sentence with a sword to the throat
is that wrong?


Do i hold myself too hight above the world?

why Not? i am the most important person i know. Because i have control over me and there have bee times when i didn’t.

why why waste life?