This made everything seem like nothing. Devo was about to make the biggest fool of himself which was not really that fucking surprising. Biffy was upset about his nicknames for the beef and bean burritos and the small the small peppers sitting on the counter.
“What the fuck is your problem lady?” he asked.
That made it worse. Oh yeah. She appeared more like the evil witch from horror films than she did the night manager. If anything did happen to her she would definitely call the police. Knowing Devo he would trip her, throw the burritos at her and then make a run for it having me at his side.
This was definitely not the day. Fucking asshole. He should have kept his damn mouth shut. I watched as he picked up three burritos and threw them in her face. She gasped in disbelief but the cashier thought it was funny. Next thing I know it Devo pulled me away and we both ran out the door and were headed strait to my truck. Just a few feet away and hopefully we would never be seen again but that idea was suddenly erased. Biffy broke down the glass doors of Pepe’s Burrito Box and sprinted after us. Shit, I thought. Not only did she want to kill Devo but she wanted to kick my ass as well. My lungs could not stand running at high speeds so I knew I was fucked but as for Devo… fuck it he was just as fucked as I was.
“We can make it!” I yelled in excitement.
I actually thought we could but truth beat the shit out of the wishing upon a star. Biffy tripped Devo but for some reason I was spared. He hit the pavement face first and Biffy twisted his legs. Devo yelled, “Johnny! Help me! She’s gonna kick my ass! She’s gonna kick my ass!”
Hell, she was already kicking his ass. But screams of pain were just the beginning.
“Ow! My legs! They’re not supposed to bend that way! Aaagh!”
he screamed.
I had to think quickly. I was his friend and I had to help him. I mean how would I feel if I was getting my ass kicked and he just walked away but then again he has done that to me.
That fucking bastard. I remember now. It was during July when I got the chance to get on stage with Bif Naked but a man in a yellow coat thought otherwise.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he yelled.
Then the asshole tackled me down and relentlessly punched me in the face until I knew true the meaning of suffering. And what did Devo do? He practically pissed in his pants and hid in the crowd of fans. The true meaning of pussy I tell you. Then came the time I asked this girl out in December. I was successful but quickly shot down whenever Devo mentioned about my last girlfriend who used to stalk me about a year ago and the reason I had asked this girl out was because I wanted to fuck. Not only did she change her mind but she kicked in the nuts and continiously kicked me with her sharp black boots. Devo laughed at me and then walked off with some other girl. What a fuckhead. Now he wanted my help. I smiled at the thought. And here he was taking kung fu kicks and power punches from Biffy. I could see his blood spatter on the pavement and hear his desperate screams of pain turn into gurgles from having so much blood in his mouth.
Fuck him.
“Where are you going?” he asked while being dragged into the sharp rocks on the pavement.
I watched Biffy continue her wrath of pain. I laughed whenever Devo was being given a lesson on “how to keep your mouth shut”. He deserved it.
“You fucking bastard!” he yelled at me.
Then he took another punch and then another. Ow! The next one looked like a wrestling move. Next, she gave him an elbow to the nose. Fuck! Now there there was a shit load of blood on his blue Pepe shirt from his nose. Wow.
“I should have known you would do some shit like this!” he yelled while taking power kicks to his ribs.
“I’m sorry Dev but Biffy never told us she was a black belt in martial arts,” I said. “Shouldn’t have fucked around man.”